Devastated... Was he having an affair..what should I do

Forlorn · Jan 18, 2016

Hi ladies.i have posted a thread few weeks before about my odour problem. I am so thankful to all of u who suggested useful tips.i have been following that since the day I got ur replies n today was thinking of posting how u guys have been helpful but then got the biggest shock of my life....
My hubby this morning before going to work said he is in love with some girl...thatz it n closed the door n went off... Not even concerned about my reaction,my feelings... Left for my whole world to crumble...
I am crying since he left...don't know what to do...thought of posting here so that u all can suggest what should I do....

I am too emotional now to call n ask what the hell was he saying? Is this so easy for men to fall in love n out of love...

He left home with my kids n me n just said n went off...yesterday not get he said I want to say something to u...thn we will know how much understanding we have..2015 went by like this...He always said something n keep checking how I react n all... It's like a test u see...Not this girl thing...ok I really don't what I should I type now... My hands r shivering...

I feel like I should die now....

rathakrishnan · Jan 18, 2016

Sis your shivering hands type too long...

just concentrate to your hubby and watch him take care him if u love a loot now, he need's sum different in all dimension's, just take care him in love or decide what you want.

Its a problem of your feature ma, so take a destitution in full (100%) thought, stand with it anyway... any of u s or no. (not in other thought's)

Lakshmipav · Jan 18, 2016

@op, call ur parents inlaws .. Inform them about what is going .. They will talk with him ..
u r not alone .. Take their help .. Don't loose hope ..

Take a step be brave ..don't cry .. It makes u more weak ..

twinklingstar · Jan 18, 2016

oh so sorry to read all that...
i also feel u should not get ur parents and in law in picture.
how can he be so rude ..you are taking care of kids and his home and he has also same responsiblity like urs to make a family and home....how sick few men behave really.
for some people only LOVE is important, they really bother the responsiblities to have along with that...phycos.
dear op cry to ur heart and feel relax...dont cry because he has affair...cry for ur life which u wasted with a crap. if u r financial independent and can have better life without him pls walk out...dont try to matchup as that patch will always remain. he has odour problem now later will have somethign...so dont try to impress him.
discuss with elders and c what they have to say..

Keet · Jan 18, 2016

don't know what to say. But let God compensate you 100 times for the heart ache you are going through.

yellowmango · Jan 18, 2016

OP...hugs to you.
Looks like it is your husband who stinks inside out.Jerk has been hurting you to cover his lack of character.

Short term....tell him you are calling a family meeting to discuss his love for this girl.
Long term......Start looking out for yourself. If you are not financially independent,start taking steps towards it.

Don't think about wasting your precious life for this jerk.If you kill yourself,your kids will be left with this guy as a parent .Pick yourself up for yourself and your kids OP.
Best Wishes.

beingloved · Jan 18, 2016

First of all, get to know about the whole situation and then analyse it. In the meanwhile, compose yourself and do not show your emotions to this fellow. You ahve to be extremely string in the current situation.

SGBV · Jan 18, 2016

Dear OP

Something is fishy... As you said, this man is checking on you before as well. Not sure what he was checking, and the findings. But this girl thing is too much.

Whatsoever, you too do the checking from your part. Relax. Call him to inform that his parents are coming. Also, your family will join too. If he asks why? Tell him that they are here to discuss further about this girl thing.
See what he responds?

Take this matter seriously. You are not a laboratory rat to experiment things like this. He is playing with your emotions. So, this is high time you react.

Forlorn · Jan 18, 2016

Hi.after posting the thread here n crying my heart out.i texted him a huge msg and wrote all the things that came to my mind.
How he has been humiliating me,making me feel inferior n worthless a girl who has got no mind of her own...etc etc
And how I was supporting him in everything he want to do in life.i basically showed him the mirror n wrote agreed I may have things that needs to be fixed so does he.
He used to say meri soch bahut alag hai koi nahi samjhega.everything he said to me last year was all in bits n pieces.u know like a puzzle I should understand everything.
Now I feel I should have reacted very strongly when he was just fault finding was being rude n humiliating me rather than keeping quiet thinking he has lot of stress due to work etc etc..
He also remarked once that we had kids early u know we should have waited n then go for kids.he claims that he loves them a lot though.difference betweeny first n second kid is almost 5 yrs. I wrote in the msg that I am proud to have them m blessed.
And much more....
He called me....Was bathing...told my dd to tell mum to call back I did not.
Texted back...
you r completely correct on lot of things u r saying
I'll fix everything
For the moment u didn't understood what I said.please relax.n help me in pointing to things which have to be taken care now.i thought u r taking care of things because u wanted.please do not worry about me getting the burden or anything.kids are my highest priority. I'll take care I have to.let me know what are the things that need to be done from today.you are not going to do anything related to outside or what is my share of responsibility.

This is what he replied... I actually mentioned in my text that I tale care of the house n kids almost everything except financial part u hardly have bloody tym for us n our relationship nor do u help around...n lack of communication will give any relationship a toss. U said u love someone don't worry u will be out of love in few years.

Coz he loved me too right but not any more now may because he don't find me mature intelligent logical blah blah...
Coz we homemakers are nothing na...Just aayaa of the kids..seriously I am pissed off.oh I got a msg from him now....god u know what he sent
Hello baba...
Haha playing with my emotions see I don't know whether that girl thing is true or not still.
I can't trust him anymore. I am replying now please tell me what should I do now...

yellowmango · Jan 18, 2016

Op...you did fine.
Now don't write messages in anger.
Cool down for a bit .
Write down what you want to say in points.
When you are calmer.....and more clear about what all needs to be discussed,then prepare for the discussion.

Don't just get emotional.Show him what a mature person you are.

Write down everything and then prepare your discussion with him.Prepare your self emotionally too.Then tell him you need to talk.