Depressed and worried about husband's and in laws attitude

nr11 · Oct 29, 2012

Hi ladies,

I always feel the best source for resolving any family or official problem is just you guys.. U ppl do a great job of helping others who are in trouble and eradicate all anxities and depression one go thru.. kudos to u all..

Here is my problem i badly need a solution.. I m 7 months pregnant with my first child now,and I am currently working in IT firm. Mine was love marriage and I need to work as the financial situation is not so good right now even tho i m pregnant. I ve to support my husband and parents as well as i m the only child for my parents.. Here is the issue. My in laws house is 50 kms away from my office and I m currently staying at my moms place which is just 12 kms away from my office.. My husband is working at a small firm as his long time ambition is to start his own business and he s not ready to move out of this small concern as he can learn the tricks of the trade easily.. it was all agreeed during our courtship. not exactly this is the problem now.. Now he doesnt want me to travel in train bus neither call taxi(unless he s out of town) and he drops me everyday at office and picks me up on all weekdays.. So he s ready to travel 100 kms a day(his office is near his house) and stay wit me during nights at my parents place. Till now we dint ve any problem..My mom and dad takes care of us so well that he never feel bad and comment on anything.. My husband is a bit rude at times and he sometimes utters words in front of my parents that hurts them a lot.. I ve told him not to do this but he isnt bothered.. He s pin pointing the amount of expenses and my contribution to my dad.. (my dad s retired and he jus takes his pension,we dont own a house too)all his pension goes to rent as we r in chennai and otehr expenses i take care of.. my husbnd feels wat i do is not right..he s not understanding others point.. in fact i pay for all his creadit card fuel and other expenses and still he is showing off his attitude to my parents.. i do ve a good rapport wit my in laws in spite of my MIL and FIL hurt me most of the times. I never hurt them back i just tolerate wat ever she did. But my husband feels am always wrong and watever he and his parents do is right..

I m plannin to come back to my moms place after delivery as i cannot expect my MIL to do everythign for me. but my MIL kept on saying am the only daughter and my mom wdo not ve much knowledge of how to take care of the newborn. which s so hurtful and when i say this to my husband he says his mom has 3 kids and she s expereinced than ur mom.. I m so worried wat if even a silly thing my mom does my husband and my MIL will flair up and make it abig issue. My mom s so innocent and soft spoken and i love my mom a lot.. i cant take it when anyone hurt my mom or dad jus lik others..am so sensitive towards both of them. i do love my husband and he takes care of me very well but i hate his attitude of supeiority and over confidence..

How do i overcome this situation ..:bowdown pls help!

Stressfull · Oct 29, 2012

Dear if it sounds harsh sory even if ur mil is the mother of ten children she will not take good care of uafter pregnancy typical mil mentality more over along with physical rest we need our mental peace talk with ur husband politely don't bring either parents into this tell him he will surely understand he must take care of ur feelings at this stage that it is a tradition girls must stay at parents for her 1st pregnancy before & after use this as a weapon let ur parents talk about this

P.S : if at all situation forces u to go don't go with expectations that they will take good care of u & ur child this is necessary for our future mental peace

MaritalBliss · Oct 29, 2012

Explain to him that since u are staying there, it's right that u spend. Why should parents have to bear the expenses for married children? If he does not agree, take separate home, take a maid and be independent. Then he will know the costs of maid, cook, rent etc. since mil does not want to take carE, leave it..she wont take good care. If he doesn't agree to all these, u tell him u will resign and take care of baby so he has to bear all expenses.