Demerits of R2I

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by rajalakshmigopal, Apr 7, 2010.

  1. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Renu for your opinion.

    I agree with you on the social aspects and other factors which influence a lot in R2I.Thanks again Renu:thumbsup
     
  2. alaivani

    alaivani Senior IL'ite

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mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> This is a very interesting thread, and thanks for it Rajalakshmi.

    I am Jennifer, an American married to an Indian. We are currently in US. Before we got married, we talked of the possibility a move back to India may happen. I also lived in Chennai where I earned my Master's degree. I am not adverse to. But I know living in India as a wife/daughter in law is much different than as a single student. So, I had some thoughts on your questions if this situation were ever to rise for us, and also some doubts to y'all! :)


    1.How will you dispose the <leo_highlight style="border-bottom: 2px solid rgb(255, 255, 150); background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; cursor: pointer; display: inline; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" id="leoHighlights_Underline_2" onclick="leoHighlightsHandleClick('leoHighlights_Underline_2')" onmouseover="leoHighlightsHandleMouseOver('leoHighlights_Underline_2')" onmouseout="leoHighlightsHandleMouseOut('leoHighlights_Underline_2')" leohighlights_keywords="furniture" leohighlights_url_top="http%3A//shortcuts.thebrowserhighlighter.com/leonardo/plugin/highlights/3_1/tbh_highlightsTop.jsp?keywords%3Dfurniture%26domain%3Dwww.indusladies.com" leohighlights_url_bottom="http%3A//shortcuts.thebrowserhighlighter.com/leonardo/plugin/highlights/3_1/tbh_highlightsBottom.jsp?keywords%3Dfurniture%26domain%3Dwww.indusladies.com" leohighlights_underline="true">furniture</leo_highlight> and other assets when R2I and do you consider this as a showstopper?

    We would have a garage sale and/or give it away to family possibly (my family is in US). Honestly I am not too attached to the things and nice things are surely available in India, so that is not a problem for me.

    2.How will the kids accommodate Indian climate,crowded environment,relatives,schooling and other stuff?
    More so than kids, who adjust faster than adults, I am concerned about us adults :) I prefer hot, but my husband does not. If we go back, it's to Kerala. Also for many who are moving back (I am not really in this category), India has changed a lot, esp in the past 5-10 years, so India is not like it was when you left.. this offers interesting experiences in re-exploring old neighborhoods, going there and maybe finding it gone, completely different, or with flyovers there now (OH- gosh as the case in Chennai now!!).
    When it comes to schooling, what in particular is the concern for kids- is it what will be studied, the socializing, or something else. In my thought socializing may be the part that could be interesting, esp if going to a school in a small town kind of place (which I assume most NRIs do not go back to). Esp if the medium is English but students talk the local language outside class in social situations. Even if the kids know Hindi, Tamil, Malayalam, etc etc, the thing is spoken 'on the street' in India is different than the limited experience had here.. but they will pick up fast, but could pose challenge if the local language is not your mother tongue or a language your kids were at all exposed to before. Kids are good at this, better than adults. Then, the thought is if NRI moves back to a place in India where they don't know that language, that is more difficult for the adult (ie. A Hindi speaker moving to Chennai, and learning Tamil to bargain in the shops/etc etc)
    I am a bit concerned about the crowded environments. Not sure what to do about it.. but will cope it up. But, driving for me will be difficult. Maybe I'll get used to it and do it. I would hope to live in a place I can walk to the market/and other tasks so that I don't have to drive, or I could take auto/bus, which I am not adverse to, but bus is crowded! :) (I experienced this in Chennai when I lived there.. was pretty fun running and jumping inside...)
    I would be looking forward to getting all the ethnic veggies and cooking them that I can not easily find here like the greens used in South Indian dishes, vatthals, tapioca, drumstick, and all those! And, fruits like mango, sappota, jackfruit, pomogranite (some are in US, but the taste in India is much much better)….But will miss if I can't find frozen stuff (esp frozen grated coconut, I am not graceful enough to grate a coconut! Maybe I can easily find someone to do that for me ??!)
    About relatives, I am not concerned. I have spent time in India, once a year past five years and they are really cool. (Maybe cause i am not Indian I do not feel that same pressure)

    3.If the couple comes back with a kid or couples themselves,will they be living with in laws as a joint family or nuclear family?

    One of the reasons we would go back it to care for his dad....and that would be the extent of the extended family. I feel in my situation my extended family would be fun to live with because they are prtty cool about things and this makes it more fun for kids if this is the case. But, I think initially if we go back, we’d be living separately from them.

    Talking about worrying about gossip, etc etc. I think this is worse for us women, and in Any culture or social set-up. Do you think men feel this the same way?


    Of course there are many questions that can bring up some fear/doubt and be maybe not on the positive side, but what about all the great parts...
    1. Being closer to family- everyone wants to be but complains (this is true in every culture I suppose)
    2. Getting fresh Indian vegetables and more ease of getting vegetarian food when going out to eat :)
    3. Being able to wear Indian dress and not be stared at as being 'weird'...
    4. For Hindus wearing bindis or sindoor or jewelry without being stared at (as would happen in US...)
    5. If Hindu being able (muslims too I guess) to go to temple freely and easily compared to US (if you're a temple/mosque going family)
    6. Being part of the fastest growing economy and living in a country that is experiencing rapid social change! Maybe a hubby gets to go back to also create jobs for locals and give back to the country that gave him birth (a woman can of course do the same!!)
    7. being able to get dresses stitched :)
    8. Being able to celebrate Diwali, Onam, Pongal, Holi or any favorite holiday when all are doing it- no need to make special looks at the calendar and try to remember, it's probably a day off work or school!
    9. Never complaining it's too cold (ok, it'll be too hot, and ok, even after a year or two you will possibly wear a woolen hat over one's head if going out in the early morning, even in Chennai- but no snow! :)
    10. Fermenting dosa batter should be easy as pie there J- where as here in US … I sometimes struggle with that….
    Of course for me, if I go out anytime, I will be stared at.. but I have learned to stare back (this is against my cultural conditioning J, but it seems to ease a lot of my concerns about being stared at and sometimes when I have stared back in India, I get smiles from ladies and ladies will start talking to me and asking me question- so it opens the floor for making new friends! J Actually for the work I do, I hope to meet some interesting NRI returning to India and also foreigners in India… so I am pretty excited about that!

    I am not Indian of course, so I have a question for you desi ladies. If you move back to India, does it create a situation where you have more or different responsibilities that you don't have in US because of not living in your native country or being closer to your family (that's outside of caring for aging parents, which usually is a given for many).....(Of course that has many layers of responsibility...)

    Thanks Jennifer
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  3. alaivani

    alaivani Senior IL'ite

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    I read another thread, and now feel like a dhakhan. Anyhow now I understand the concern with kids going to school in India (at least one more concern..)

    Since I studied my master's in India, this was a concern for me....
    The education system is different.. more emphasis on believing/following anything the teacher says and not so much independent thinking (though recently my experience in An AMerican college, I think it depends on how the teacher directs the class, My American teacher did not really allow for open discussion and criticized people for sharing/questioning, so that irritated me...)

    this may be different in an international school in india. my didi works in int'l school and tells me the methods of teaching are more westernised and even she had a hard time adjusting, as a teacher, but prefers it now.

    also maybe not so many opportunities for extra-curricular activities depending on the school? and may not be as stressed as pure academics (though I think this is changing...)
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  4. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Jennifer,

    I never expected such a detailed post mar tum kind of reply.Many thanks for that:bowdown.

    I like the way you have analyzed "Chennai".Chennai's hot climate and crowded people comes to the mind immediate huh?:rantSince you say that you are an American,trying to cope with Indian families here will not create any major difference as far as I know.

    Thanks for your inputs!
     
  5. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Kids education will need to be considered while R2I.But remember Montessori and other international schools are there to create an "U.S" like atmosphere.

    Thanks form analyzing this point too:hiya
     
  6. sanravi_1970

    sanravi_1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all

    How about the power outage and water problems in Chennai. Do all parts of chennai has water problem?
    How about the power cut and how long?
     
  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    sandhya

    nice to you in this forum. how is V (time flies isn't, it was just like yesterday you were waiting for his arrival) I assume velachery area from your previous queries??. Power cut in chennai is not at all bad as in mumbai. my cousin in the suburbs says 3 hours in the morning and 3 in the evening/night.
    we are not yet experiencing scheduled power cuts. well with two/three a/c's running in each household, there is a voltage drop in the nights, but there will be power cuts if the summer heat goes unbearable. maybe a hour of cut maximum if you are in the city limits else 2hours.

    water, if you have metro water along with your regular ground water, it is passable, no shortage as such. even with shortage, you get to buy water.
    IF there are rains, this year shortage should be short.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2010
  8. sanravi_1970

    sanravi_1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Thank You Shanthi :)

    Ya, time flies, he is already 2.5 now..
    My mom lives in Velachery, so i do enquire something for her.. BTW, where do u live?
    I have heard from my mom that the power cut is for more than 6 hrs a day. like from 9 to 5..

    My inlaws live in mylapore and they have water problems in their flat, but i dont have any knowledge about other areas or even other parts of mylapore! Thats why i asked abt it..

    Thanks for the info :)
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2010
  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    sandhya,

    9 to 5 is a maintenance cut that happens at random and it is not a daily occurrence. even that you can tide over with a inverter.

    I stay in the madippakkam area. water shortage is a common thing in chennai. this year i heard there is acute shortage in mumbai. we do have water right now. maybe next month we will be forced to buy water.
     
  10. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks Shanthi for the inputs.Powercuts & water problem in Madipakkam is much more better compared to other areas.We are buying water from outside and we get it in 12 hrs once we register the query with them.
     

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