Delivery In November Neither Mom Nor In Laws Interested In Asking About Me :(

Shewta,

I know you cant help but feel hurt when people who you count on do not raise to your level of expectation. how ever you are a 'first-time-mommy-to-be'. There is a lot in store for you which can be overwhelming. Dont waste time over things you cannot control and be practical. Plan things out as your delivery is nearing. I have been raising my kid with no help from anyone else but my DH. I was also all alone taking care of my new born son (just 45 days old) when DH had to go on an urgent official tour for a week. Its certainly tough but well worth the hardship. Take care

 

OP, Hire an Aaya to help with your child and your health. In India, an experienced lady comes to do maalish for both mother and child. Find someone similar who can take care of just the both of you. Anyway you have help with cooking and cleaning. She can help with any special care and/or guidance you may require. Yes it is expensive, but it is only for a few weeks. You would need this help for possibly 8-12 weeks. Do not fret over why your mother and MIL aren't there when you need them. It is the way it is. Accept it and move on. The more you ruminate over such thoughts, the more you are spoiling you health and farther you are from actually finding a solution.

 

Hi shwetapj,

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes well for you and you have a healthy, happy baby.
With regards to your husband, please ask him to take some time off work and be with you, both during your delivery and in the 2 or 3 days afterwards when you are in hospital. I speak from experience, whether you have a normal delivery or a challenging one, this is a very vulnerable time for you and you really do need to have someone with you. Forget about the business, forget about work, forget about everyone else, focus on yourself and your baby. Your husband needs to be there for you until you come home.
As for helping out once you get home, I would suggest you pre-cook some food and freeze it so that once you are home with the baby, at least you don't have to worry about cooking everyday, this is a must as it will take the burden off you and help you focus on your new baby. That's the most important thing. Don't worry about how the house looks or what anyone will say. Don't allow visitors for at least a couple of weeks, this is also important so that you don't get stressed with entertaining etc. And please, don't even attempt to work, it can wait. Everything can wait until you get your strength back. You need to look after yourself first because if you are not 100%, then who will look after your child and your husband?
It's OK to feel angry at being abandoned but I have learned that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Be strong, think of your beautiful baby and have faith in yourself that you don't need anyone else to take care of you!

 

OP,
Firstly, u r caught up in a fancy world of the favors and fabulous life which a pregnant woman has.. Welcome and most of us were believing in the same myth. Fact is, very few ppl share our joy of pregnancy news and be with us throughtout...even though everyone throws free advice until it chockes us. When i saw others baby shower photos, everything n everyone seemed soo perfect! When my turn came...uh..it was a huge hungama between families and clashes abt the cultures n rituals. Every event related to baby has some or the other hiccup and nothing went as planned for me. Never enjoyed any one of them. Always compromising. Hope it will be different for you unlike me. Even when mom or inlaws r there to help, its not easy to manage(read parents or inlaws) as the new born. Trust me. We will have some thoughts and ideas abt how few things should be handled and they theirs... Forget it OP, it will be an episode worth of stuff to explain here..

You seemed to be well prepared to handle job post delivery. You sounded confident. Carry forward the same towards raising baby. You can read up loads of stuff on internet and be prepared. I am sure, you already are. But, also read up on how to take care of yourself. Others can chip in for ur baby, but not for you. Chk out some of the common and frequent discomforts which women face post delivery..like dry nipple.

Abt your mil, not asking about ur health..its a culture imbibed in most of mil's dna. Cant do much. When we told the news of my pregnancy, my mil literally counted on her fingers as to when i would have conceived as we had huge fight 2-3 weeks before(me Vs H and mil). She was furious to realize that we had sex after the huge fight. And she never ever asked me abt pregnancy, never accompanied to DR visits, never asked if i ate( and i had huge nausea n lost 5 kgs in first 3 months) even though my pregnancy was a highly complicated one. But i was on bed rest third trimester n she provided me good food as per my H instructions( not from her heart). I wondered how she gave birth to 2 kids and not know how to care for pregnant woman. That too her grandchild who will carry their family legacy. All she did from her heart was to arrange for a baby shower to brag abt it n point out abt less breat milk n color of baby... So u r better off being alone.. Trust me.

 

with normal delivery, physically its not very toll taking to take care of baby alone....but you are a first time mom, so can find it overwhelming.....in case of csection, generally minimum 15 days of rest is required....you husband busy in work and you are a first time, so its not going to be that easy especially if csection happens.
I think hiring a 24 hrs nurse or aaya who is expereinced in handling baby would be good. infact it would be better than having MIL or MOM. as you will be saved with unnecessarily advices and aaya will work as par you.
Mostly MIL comes for help but hardly do any help, so dont be so worried, replace them with aaya or nurse...

 

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Too funny !