Definitions!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by revathy45, Mar 16, 2008.

  1. revathy45

    revathy45 Bronze IL'ite

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    School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays

    Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich

    Nurse:A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

    Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

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    Tears:[/CENTER][/CENTER][/I][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/B][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center]
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    The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


    Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

    [B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Conference:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Compromise:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. [/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Dictionary:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A place where success comes before work[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Conference Room: [/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Father:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A banker provided by nature.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][B][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff0000]Boss:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Politician:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Doctor:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Classic:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]Books, which people praise, but do not read.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Smile:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A curve that can set a lot of things straight.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=2][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][CENTER][CENTER][B][I][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=6][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial][B][I]
    Office:[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/I][/B][B][I][U][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/U][/I][/B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. [/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/CENTER][/CENTER]
    [B][I][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=6][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial][B][I][CENTER][CENTER]
    Yawn:[/CENTER][/CENTER][/I][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/B][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/FONT][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/COLOR][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/COLOR][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/SIZE][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/FONT][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/U][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/I][CENTER][CENTER][/center][/center][/B][CENTER][CENTER][B][I][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/I][/B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. [/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][B][I][U][FONT=Arial][SIZE=6][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial][B][I]

    Etc.:[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/I][/B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I] A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. [/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/CENTER]
    [CENTER][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT][/I] [/CENTER]
    [CENTER][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Committee:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][I][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I] [/CENTER]

    [CENTER][I][U][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff0000][B]Experience:[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][B][I][SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/I][SIZE=2][/size][/B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/U][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]The name men give to their mistakes[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/CENTER]
    [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][/SIZE][/FONT] [/CENTER]
    [CENTER][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][B][U][FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]Atom Bomb:[/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][B][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I]An invention to end all inventions.[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][/FONT][B][U][SIZE=6][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Arial][B][I]

    Philosopher:[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I] A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death[/I][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER]
    [FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/I][/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]Prayer is not a spare wheel that you pull out when YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
    It is a steering wheel that keeps you on the right path throughout your life

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance....

    Never believe what the lines of your hand predict about your future, because people who don't have hands also have a future... Believe in yourself

    You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. [/FONT]
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  2. Sumeru

    Sumeru New IL'ite

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    Hey, thats a fantastic set of definitions !
     
  3. revathy45

    revathy45 Bronze IL'ite

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