Defeated.

Hugs to you.
Take a step back. You mentioned that your mother is NPD. Then what are you expecting from her. You cannot expect a normal relationship from NPDs. Your brother, golden child, may have her traits as well. I feel you are the 'scrape goat'. So, I strongly suggest you to educate on how to manage narcistic people. Educate and empower yourself.
Going no contact, or grey rock, defining boundary, and practicing emotional detachment is the way to go. Dont share your day to day life with them. Maintain just a hi/ bye relationship.Also, consider therapy.

Be kind to yourself. Its not your fault that you are in this situation. Accept the situation, most difficult step, and learn how to gain your confidence back and manage them. Dont go after them proving your point or calling them out. It wont work. You are not defeated. You realised the truth, that itself is a step towards healing. Remember, no one can help much, the healing should happen withing yourself.
Also, forgive your mom. Its not her fault that she has NPD. Dont absorb their actions in past or present to your heart through detachment. I think counselling/ therapy with NPD specialist may help you to raise you from victim to survivor.
Takecare

There are many videos on youtube on this topic, may be in your native language as well . Hope you find some thing useful to help you. Just sharing information. I am not an expert on this topic.

 

Sorry to read this @jmsd
I just want to correct one point. From now on live for yourself. Not for others. Please realize even your children come under the category of ‘others’. So many ladies write similarly that they feel betrayed by the people around them and have given up and now they are just living for their kids. Those kids grow up and become adults and they behave according to their nature (and also based on conclusions from whatever they have seen in life because ultimately all kids have a very strong survival instinct) - this may or may not please you leading to another huge realization and subsequent devastation a few years down the road.

For sure complete your duties towards your kids - and do everything for them that you would as a mother, but remember they too will grow up and want to lead their own lives. So keep a small space in your mind, that little detachment even when dealing with them. And dust off your own dreams and passions and slowly start living for yourself - start small now if you are super busy, may be a hobby you loved but put aside - now find the time for it - maybe 2-3 hours a week or whatever for now. It will give you so much of happiness and satisfaction and a sense of stability. Then Slowly build on that sense of stability. Try other things. Make new friends. You are essentially creating a new world for yourself now, one with firm boundaries to keep out toxic people and peopling it with the people activities and things you like want and value. It will take some time but it will be very satisfying. In that happiness and satisfaction you will be able to let go of your current feelings of betrayal and hurt. These people, brother and mother, currently looming so large in your life will recede and be replaced by people who genuinely like you and value you for who you are. Best wishes!

 

You are NOT defeated.

This is just a beginning of a new chapter in life..

I personally have crazy relatives and I understand your trauma

it’s awesome that you are finally AWARE

take your time to heal as it is a process

But then..start REBUILDING YOURSELF and you are going to be POWERFUL

 

while its heartbreaking to see family not wishing well for you, its pretty common these days.
Or rather has been something happening for ages, forever and one of the most common things in our Indian families.
its nice to have a family, siblings, husband, children, parents , all together wishing each other well , all hale and healthy. All perfecto... ! BUt I think we are all old enough now that its not all like that or doesnt even happen that way.
I think thats the challenge in life now. We meet different people for different facets of life. choose priorities, choose people for each phase, make peace with it.
You need to work. You need to be functional. Thats the priority . For now.
I dont think you can afford to not be functional. Take therapy.
I am also scared what might happen to me too . I have a dysfunctional husaband. No mom. Father dependent and I am desparately trying to have a child. I know I might be too optimistic, but I will need support , immense support when I get pregnant. But the h complains he got scared of depositing sperm for iui and has been blaming me forever. I cant imagine how much advance infromation he needs for every challenge coming up during pregnancy.

Anyway, not to hijack your thread. BUt please please get yourself togehter. get help!

 

im sure you have heard this in the past, or maybe its just me who said it too. But try to start sai baba nava guruvara vratam. You will get some peace for sure.
Long ago, I also used to read sai satcharitra for 7 days. Try that too.
Good Luck

 

I would consider this. It sounds too cheesy to say. But you cannot make anyone happy, even kids and harder you try the more you will feel sad since there will be some fault. '

only true thing is god, may be my age lol just early 40s but i guess that is the best friend i have to help with anything.