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Debating On Job While Planning On Second Kid:

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by C00lhoney, Oct 12, 2016.

  1. C00lhoney

    C00lhoney New IL'ite

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    I am still debating myself on so many things below and wanted to check with you all for opinions.

    Mine is a love marriage and myself and my hubby are both are already 33yrs now, we have an daughter who is 3yrs now.

    Am debating myself whether i should quit my job (11yrs) and take a break and then conceive second baby (we both want an second kid) or wait till pregnancy (couple of months) and then take a break.


    In my office, already lots of politics, even after when i came back from first delivery , had lots of work load, the first one year was really very stressful with my kid and work life. If i got pregnant again , my manager will plan to get rid off my position itself since he keeps hiring all low experience people so his position doesn’t get affected by promotion. I am infact just a level below his , so he has been asking me to check on all opportunities within the company if am interested (infact on the day of my hiring, he kept on telling that i can be on this role for couple of years but must look for opportunities within other groups in the org). Actually he has his old friend as well in our team who’s my colleague,

    and she is also in the same level as mine but has only specific skill set and doesn’t take any other ownership of other skill set.

    From day one he has been assigning all challenging opportunities to me and if i succeed and if my senior manager appreciates with award, he kept adding more challenging tasks.

    Intact my senior manager, manager and other colleagues are all very close and he been working in previous job as well.

    Because of my family reasons i didn’t expect any promotions even after working in same group for 4yrs inspire

    of delivering successful tasks.

    Always i take up the difficult task and try it out and then i have to teach the other person in the team to learn and execute it.

    I am fed up with that, as i transition my knowledge to other members and my role/opportunities disappears.


    At home also , not much of help, even though my husband helps, he is in startup now so you all might know how much stressful life it is.

    My in laws came for a month for last delivery but i would prefer being alone rather them coming and interfering their nose in everything.

    My mom is sick as well and so cannot travel also.

    Started hiring cleaners once a month for extensive bathroom,living and kitchen cleaning as i end up having severe back pain if i do everything myself.

    For cooking, i am doing myself, sometime my husband helps but he prefer to daily cook twice atleast rather than storing food in fridge and having.

    Taking care of kids stuffs , cleaning, our laundry i manage to do them over the weekends, if am very stressed , i do it over the weekdays.

    But sometimes i am very frustrated that i need to quit my job as i know the pain of struggling to find an full time opportunity,

    but on the other side, i feel that i need a break as i feel am running behind something everyday in my life and no relaxation.

    Even if i plan on quitting sooner, i am debating whether i should return back and look for opportunities within an year otherwise its hard to find opportunity in the market or i should be home and take care of kids as its becoming stressful day by day with both of us working.


    Am so confused that am not able to concentrate on anything neither at home or in office.
     
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  2. Cantdecide

    Cantdecide Silver IL'ite

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    it is a lot to juggle for sure. One financial consideration is if you do get laid off you can collect unemployment income which could be helpful. If you think you would get laid off anyways sometimes people recommend just waitin it out. If you guys are comfortable on your husband's sole income - then the stress may not be worth it though. If you are both on the same page that the priority right now is kids, then you can decide together how you want to proceed.

    It is so hard to take time off from the career - I don't have kids yet but I consider about it a lot. You do have a long history of work so that is good. If you don't mind - what field are you in? How easy it is to re enter the work force can depend a lot on the demand of your industry.
     
    guesshoo and C00lhoney like this.
  3. mituyadav

    mituyadav Platinum IL'ite

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    @CoolHoney I had been in same situation of handling a 4 yr old , stressful work (11 yrs exp) and household chores. So decided to take a break for 2nd one , currently have quit the job. As I am hopeful this time would not come back again and I need to remain stress free.. during delivery also we not expecting anyone to join as in laws have health issues , so will have to manage alone. during 1st kid delivery i could somehow take 9 months leave , which definitely wont be possible this time if I would have been working. So believe me its worth it.
     
    C00lhoney likes this.
  4. C00lhoney

    C00lhoney New IL'ite

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    @Cantdecide - Thanks for responding, am in IT software engineering, reporting and analytics side, but had been working in many differents world Development, reporting, Analytics :)

    @mituyadav - Thanks for your response, really this helps a lot! Happy to hear that line "believe me its worth it"
     

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