Dealing With Unnecessary Comments On Post Preg Weight?

Discussion in 'Post Pregnancy Care' started by Needtobestrong, May 17, 2017.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    It's been 9 months postpartum..I'm stuck at same weight as I was while discharged from hospital after C section..im not going to mention my height weight etc as I'm little embarrassed..but I know exactly why I have not lost weight..
    1. Had extremely complicated pregnancy with home rest, and bedrest in advanced stages..
    2. Difficult time during and after delivery due to premature contractions and early delivery
    3. Extreme mental stress due to all medical problems and tension about health of prematurely born baby
    4. Hypothyroid , and taking thyronorm for it.
    5. Post delivery diet was ghee rich according to family tradition and had to follow it for initial months before taking normal food
    6. Lot of tensions and unexpected fights and Mis understandings in laws place so lot of irritation in mind
    7. Lack of sleep..especially when baby is colicky or weather change or unwell there are sleepless nights..but that's to be expected
    8. Unreliable household helps..maids are irregular and not proper..so many a time I don't get proper time for myself and end up doing household task that make me tired.
    9. Low milk supply, hence could not exclusively breastfeed.
    10. Lack of energy to exercise..
    I try to follow diet and small exercises but I'm not consistent with it..
    Every now and then guests keep coming...and now and then social occasions keep coming up which I have to attend..its so irritating when in law relatives, my relatives, neighbours, family friends etc comment on my weight..why can't these people just talk some useful stuff instead of checking out my body and commenting on it..I have few doubts
    * why are some people so jobless that they comment on weight like this..don't they have sympathy for lady who has gone thru such difficult time and slogging day and night without sleep..
    *heights of indecency to comment in front of everyone..
    * how do they expect a woman to magically reduce and become size zero after c section delivery..it takes time and effort right..
    * is it normal to not lose weight even after so many months ? The belly and hips are same ..its irritating when few women boast about how they were so slim even few weeks after delivery..
    I want to know how u moms reply when people make unflattering remarks about ur weight..and how long you took to come back to pre pregnancy weight..and how it's possible to reduce weight while managing house and kid with minimum help..
    I'm concerned about slimming down in a healthy way..not by doing crash dieting or boot camp exercises etc..
    I'm not sure if I posted in correct forum..moderators if this shud be posted in different forum pls move it.
     
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  2. Sneha999

    Sneha999 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I can understand how u feel because I experienced the same problem,of course with some differences.My mil's family is full of thin people and I'm the one thats chubby from the beginning of any marriage.I tried to reduce the weight but many obstacles and became pregnant and as u described I gained around 20kgs at that time.since I was exclusively breast feeding my baby so couldn't start dieting and no time for exercise since we are in usa and had to take care of baby.Because of my breastfeeding I have a high metabolism and was trying to lose some weight these days and reduced almost 10kgs.
    Postpartum weight depends upon the hereditary and it is quite common to not loosing weight.I have many friends who are very slim even after having 2 babies.Most of the women don't gain weight during their pregnancy but gain after their delivery because of having high calorie food which is good for us and the baby to strengthen.But some people don't have high calorie or ghee rich food since it will make them gain weight which of course makes their babies weak as they grow.I used to be very much worried about my weight gain after delivery but one day I realized that My only priority is to give my baby a healthy future like my mother did for me and there is nothing important other than that.
    As a lady who has been a little overweight since the beginning,the only thing I would to tell is stop caring about what others say.People just need something to gossip upon all the time.Imagine u were very thin kind of like a little underweight don't u think people gossip about u that u r not healthy or looking good,etc...The only thing u should care is if u r healthy or not and how to be healthy.Weight loss after delivery is difficult with the baby and all but try to find some time for a little exercise and eat lots of fruits and veggies.I used to eat oats with curry for lunch replacing rice since oats is good in fiber and it helped me reduce my weight gradually.hope this helps
     
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  3. boldnbutiful

    boldnbutiful Silver IL'ite

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    Stop caring about comments. .inlaws become very rude and loose basic human decency when son gets married what little is left is gone after baby is born because for them dil use is done she gave a baby that's all is needed for them..so they keep tauting for every single things. .my mil keeps comment ing on my hair loss I hv very silky thin hair hair from beginning one day she was saying this to a maid and laughing. ..its difficult to ignore all these comments om top deal with baby and harmones. ..its like whole world is aginst us ....

    Dun worry it will all not matter one year down the lane...that's what I think
     
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  4. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Either you are too thin or too fat. If you go by people's comments, there will be always wrong with you no matter how you look.

    First rule, ignore. It's tough, yes, but you know your practical difficulty not them. And it's not possible to explain to everyone. Avoid getting stressed about this as it's taking your focus away from your baby. Make sure you both are healthy, that's the first priority.

    There is nothing wrong in taking your time to get your pre pregnancy weight. Many never attains that too, so if they don't lose the weight are they gona be bad mom or bad person. No, it doesn't change who you are inside.

    Underweight or overweight people don't deserve to love or be happy? Shape, size, color differs from person to person. You be comfortable with who you are.

    If it helps, Look for a nutritionist online in india. There are many who helps via email and phone to out of city/ country patients. they can recommend some good food program. It's not crash diets or supplements. Look for someone who help you with eating right and with only healthy food.
     
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  5. Myladdu

    Myladdu Senior IL'ite

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    Op don't care for their comments. I was petite even befor getting pregnant. I got problems with appetite and lost my pregnancy weight and looking thin.
    People start commenting your so thin. Eat something.
    They can understand what we are going through.
    They can't help us in anyway so just leave it . Enjoy your time with baby. Baby's will grow fast and we will loose the precious time thinking of some nounce talk.
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks ladies..I was mercilessly bullied during childhood due to being overweight..during college days I somehow managed to get in shape by diets and hectic schedule of studies and activities etc..but after delivery I'm stuck in plateau with weight not reducing..as it is I feel bad when my pre pregnancy clothes don't fit..people are making it even worse by commenting on it..feeling better after reading the replies.
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    Please don't take these type of comments to heart and give any importance to it. Try to ignore.. you will succeed for sure.
    It is all about self confidence. How we carry ourselves...it doesn't matter whether one is fat or lean , beautiful or ugly.. if we face the world with confidence, and if we create an impression that we don't care about these type of comments or we are happy the way we are, people will slowly stop doing thus, especially sadistic ones.

    If you want an inspiration, look at Aiswarya Rai s post pregnancy pictures. The whole world commented on her, but she gave value to her baby and health than looks...She faced the world with confidence and participated in red carpet show even in Cannes...

    Best option is smile it off and ignore. Or if you want to say some thing, you call tell you are happy the way you look now, baby is important than anything or I don't care about looks ...etc...or cite the above example

    Anyway don't take these comments to heart. If it affect you that indicate that you are not confident..so work on it.. enjoy these beautiful moments with baby and takecare of your health. Normally post pregnancy weight goes away with in 1-2 years..especially when one starts running after the baby:)
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2017
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  8. DrVandhana

    DrVandhana Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi dear,

    I am an Ayurveda physician. I need to know whether you are breast feeding now or not. How old is your kid now? Your diet patterns? Are you doing any exercises? Have you taken any ayurveda medicines or treatment before? If I know this, I think I can help you . But still you can try out these solutions to solve your problem.

    You need not worry about what people talk about you. Let them talk. You just ignore such things. Don't take everything into head or else you will have only time to listen to such loose talks. I know it's difficult. Think that there are people always who act weird and nobody can change them. You should first of all believe in yourself. Show them back that it is possible for you . Do what all you can to get back to what you desire.

    If you are feeding and have less lactation , then try eating green gram,include lots of leafy vegetables like spinach etc. Drink 2-3 glasses of milk mixed with Satavarex granules, Eating a diet with less spicy, pungent and sour food is good to ensure proper lactation.Have food at a proper time and in proper quantity. Keep breakfast by 8 A.M, Lunch by 1.30 or 2 p.m, dinner at 8 p.m. Drink lots of water. Dont skip meals, be it your lunch/ dinner/ breakfast. Avoid tubers like potato and tapioca and pulses. However moong dal is good. Have atleast 2-3 fruits per day and vegetable salad either in steamed or raw form. Have small fishes like anchovies, sardine etc. Avoid fishes containing mercury. Avoid eating egg in raw form. Eat them in fully boiled form. Avoid bakery items and items containing maida. Processed junk foods , canned products and carbonated products can be avoid. Chicken and beef can be taken in raw form. Take fruits and vegetables in the form of juice, without adding sugar.

    Breastfeeding for a long time helps in losing weight by burning up extra fat and calories.If not breastfeeding,Take a glass of warm water mixed with one lemon juice and 2 tsp honey. Do exercises regularly from 3rd month post delivery for 15-20 minutes atleast. You can either go for walking or do yoga at home.
    Some of the yogaasana can be done are, bhujangasana, dhanurasana, padahastanasa, paschimottasana, bridge pose, cat pose, pelvic tilts, spinal twist, boat pose etc. All the exercises should be done after wearing an abdominal belt. The more exercise you do, more active you become and your brain works faster and better. This also aids in having proper sleep at night and wards off anxiety, depression, tension, stress and strain. Only if you sleep properly then will it be able for you to become more physically and mentally active. Keep your mind blank while doing focussing exercises like virabhadrasana, halasana, tadasana and garudasana. You can also focus on some object for some time. For eg: the flame of a lighted candle. Or you can practice nadishodhana pranayama.

    It is ok even if you lose 1 or half kg per month. It should be gradual. Only then you will feel active and energetic, without losing stamina to do house hold chores or a job at office. Meditation also works to have a clear and peaceful mind. Continue taking hormonal tablet if you are having.

    Even after trying all these, if you feel its useless, you can take ayurvedic medicines and panchakarma treatments , as well as abhyanga, oosham and udvartana under the supervision of an expert.

    Thank you.
     
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Solid wonderful example and valuable suggestion. Thanks.
     
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dr Vandhana like a Beloved Mother had done that extra mile. Her notes above demonstrates true concern, meaningful, soothing words to hurt soul. Hats off to you Adam. Other would be IL'ites would be greatly benefitted with your advice in above jotting. This is true seva. Three cheers to altruist Dr Vandhana. God bless us all.
     
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