Dealing with Toddler/Preschooler tantrums, especially outside the home

hey krithika,

it looks like you take his food to the restaurant . is it the case?

i did it couple of time. Later i avoided that by making sure that he has a full stomach when we go out . (Akshith's lunch time is 12 and has his dinner at 7). so when we go out to eat he is not much interested in what we are eating. May be i give him some small bites of veggies , cheese or something. (i do carry some snacks like Raisin, Dates and Almonds)

Ramya

 

Ramya, actually we eat out when I am moving about with him when DH is not in town and when we are plain tired to cook anything at home. K has been eating out since he was 14 months (so, not a problem as far as eating out goes -ragi dosai is on Sangeetha's menu) But the problem is simply when we make unhealthy choices and dont want K to have them. Simpler to remodel our behaviour, so that he will make healthier eating choices later, I know. Agree with you on bringing the snacks along, tho'

 

Am with you Krithika. But is it possible?My DH is a complete junkie . It has taken me 4 complete years to steer him away from junk and am still working on it!

Ramya

P .S : Pls check you PM for an info

 

Hi pavarun,
I used to always face this problem.In some other thread we discussed this issue and Latha aka Traveller suggested somethings which has worked for me.Before going to the store I talk to my daughter telling that she has to behave properly.No eating junk food.If she does that then next time she will be at home and I will be going shopping alone.I do have some stickers handy so when we get close to those aisles I start giving some of these things.Anyway last week we were at target and they were filled with Haloween candies.She took them and as I looked at her she said to herself no junk food ok mommy. I was so happy.I don't know how many days it will last.I generally give her a banana before going shopping so she will have enough energy.
Thanks
Mangai

 

Sindhu, I thought you may find this article interesting. This is a somewhat dated article. Yesterday, I thought maybe it is time for me to make K training pants, searched for that in motherdotcommune and ended up in that article. Karma, methinks.

 

Dear Friends,

Though i have 2 grown up daughters, i have given my My 2cents here in this thread, since i had similar probs with my 2nd one who was very adamant, even now, now at times she is matured enough to understand what mama tells her and sometimes she still continues to do the same............
i hope :hide:
First thing is I will never loose my temper..............instead just divert their attention to more attractive things around them like "see those paintings, see that mickey mouse is keeping quiet, and not crying like you................shall i make your favourite paratha for dinner or shall we go home and do some nice dish....................by the end of the conversation, i will see that i am out of the departmental stores............
once i took my daughters to pondy bazaar, and as usual my 2nd one she was 3 years old , started throwing tantrums for a Donald Duck towel..............she was going on crying..........i was ignoring...........and we went to a hotel nearby, she didnt eat anything...............my hubby said its ok let her not eat...........i too left and as soon as we reached home, she went straight into the kitchen and started eating biscuits...............and slowly she came and asked mama what have you made for lunch................immediately i made some upma and gave her.................

During my Spl Education course, they taught us not to be stubborn with the child who is throwing tantrums, instead hug that child tight.............so that the child feels very secure..................yes i have tried this with my nieces and nephews it works wonders...............and also make sure you are out of that spot where you child found something attractive for throwing tantrums..................

Hope i have not bored you all with my experiences with my daughter

 

thank you Padma, for sharing your experiences. You always share good tips from your course. Another Ilite, Krithika (Tikka) also mentioned that she follows this 'calming down' technique with her son. I have learnt this only recently.. better late than never!

On Saturdays my 3.5 yr old goes for an english class from 9-11. He is always tired after that. Yesterday he returned from the lessons, had his lunch and then was suddenly very very cranky. He wouldn't listen to anything and it was getting difficult to distract him as well. His father kept on hugging him and stroking his back. Finally after 10 minutes of this drama he tells us that he's tired and wants to sleep. I really admired my DH for keeping his cool and calming the child. If i were alone i'd have got very angry. After a good nap he wakes up to tell sorry to his father. I'm telling him repeatedly these days that if he is tired or angry he should tell us and not scream or shout.

Latha

 

Hi mommies, here is a thought that usually worked/works with my 5year ols though usually his tantrums are limited only to book stores and that too ocassionally. Most of the time we always know where we are taking them - so have a word with them before taking them and tell them that if they behave well, they will get a special treat (you can start this with smaller trips so that their waiting time is smaller) - something that is their fav (show it in the beginning) and remind of that even before there is an indication of a tantrum - I usually keep telling my child in a sing song voice constantly "there is going to be a special treat...there is going to be a ....." till I am almost done. Usually that diverts their attention and in the end, give the treat you promised. Sometimes my son even gets something he really wanted and you should see his face then. And if they do not stop throwing tantrums at times, don't give it.

This has helped me, hope it works for you all as well.

PS:..sorry didnot see so many responses already and I might have repeated.

 

I am not sure if it is my son's or husbands tantrum. I honestly do not feel it's my toddlers. He is 2 year 2 months.

We had a diwali party today. We were there around 6, dinner started around 8:45 after the pooja, my son was really hungry, but continued to play with other kids.When everyone started taking food, he took a seat near the dining table and said he needs a plate and fork. Since the party was at our friends house it was very informal, people used to come and take food from the table and eat casually talking to each other etc.
My son also started eating. But my husband is so adamant that he shoould not be sitting and eating there. It's a disturbance for other people.Infact he sat at the head chair. Food was on both sides, but nothing close to him. He did not touch anything. Usually people sit and eat there and they keep teh food to serve on one side. My DH got very angry at me and he told me to take him away and feed with other kids who were eating at the kitchen island. I went and checked there were no space for one more. Meanwhile Dh took him out of the chair, he started crying louder saying he wants to sit and eat there. Everybody said it' okay for him to eat there. But my DH keep on telling me that i should feed him somewhere else. Finally my son did not eat. He asked for milk and dropped it there and made a mess. I felt bad that he did not eat and people were keep on telling me that i shud have allowed him to sit there. but I had no voice.
My DH is still angry that I do not know how to discipline him etc etc and Dh did not eat there also. I am now confused. Which is right?

 

Cheerful - I would have to agree with your son here. I do think your DH made a fuss over nothing. if he wasnt in the way and was prepared to wait all that time quietly (for which alone he deserves a huge pat on the back) and was eating without a fuss then it does look as if your DH making him change places was unreasonable. maybe you could talk abt this to your Dh when both of you are calm and explain that its ok to give kids a bit of leeway sometimes. Was it just this once or does he always have somewhat unreasonably high expectations of behaviour?

Vanathi.