Dealing with rude relatives..

anika987 · Feb 4, 2014

Hi all,

I am living in the USA for the past 8 years.When I was in India,life was simple yet blissful.My relatives who were in USA loved me a lot and were very nice to me( atleast I thought so).I got married and came to US with my lovable husband.

Now,I was a simple person with simple desires.USA was a whole dream world to me and hubby was super nice.showered me with gifts etc.life was awesome.

Now,after coming here my relatives changed.they r being very rude.they constantly tell me iam wasting away being a homemaker and wasting money buying costly gifts.they are also critical and comment on my looks,my home,my husband etc everytime we meet.Also, for some reason my aunt cannot take it that i buy branded stuff.she feels I am copying her!! here in usa everything is brands.so everyone will be having mostly same stuff?how is that copying i thought.

Also, I have a cousin who was very nice to me.after,she got a job she is also treating me with disregard.more than disregards, she stopped conversing with me.she just smiles and does not even talk.

I feel very disappointed. above are just examples.I just want my relatives to be nicer to me.

I thought taking up a job might make them be nicer but it is not that way.

Do not know what to do..I want to be happy.I am feeling depressed.it has been 8 years and still nothing has changed..

orchidgb · Feb 4, 2014

my siblings are in usa only. you know what my aunt and her daughters always advised me ask your bro and sis to come to india itself. but how can i tell them, its their life and i cannot preach or advise them. so they got irritated and always make me to cry with their harsh words now i stopped talking with them.

amnilakshmi · Feb 4, 2014

they are jealous of you... Better you cut them off from your life.

sunshine1970 · Feb 4, 2014

Hey hun I would recommend that you move on, they are your relatives but they are not worth your tears and emotion trauma. People in North America (Indians) are very different and competitive, better keep your distance make a life outside of them.

DKI · Feb 5, 2014

My husband's cousin came to the US after us. They grew up together and were very close when they were kids. Once they came here, they distanced themselves from all relatives in the US. They also passed on the info through the uncle that they were not interested in relatives visiting etc. When I got pregnant, I called and told my co-sis (out of respect as she is much older). They wished me etc, but did not contact us etc for many years. 2 years ago we bumped into them in a store. And then they were upset with us for not calling them up. We were both irritated with that but I told my husband lets be magnanimous and give in a bit since we are the younger set. Now they are desperate for relations. Their kids are grown up and in college, so they keep taking my son (he is 11) out for fun times. He also idolizes his "periappa". Many people change after leaving India. I am glad that even though its so many years later, atleast now there is regular interaction and the relationship is great. Most importantly, my son is finally happy to have a relative nearby

lucky2 · Feb 5, 2014

I have this cousin living in US for past 15 years. he is 12 years elder to me and he loved me a lot as he has no sisters. everything turned just topsy turvy once he got married. I was in school then and couldn't take his changed behavior( no enough maturity).

when I got married, he just exchanged best wishes. after we moved to US, my babhi used to call me but I never called her back. when I was pregnant with my son, I did call him and let him know(as he is making fuss over this issue calling my mom and relations). when my mom came to help me with my delivery they called saying they will help us buy tickets and wanted my mom to visit them(my mom is like second mom to him, my brothers respect her a lot and calls her mom). my mom is so smart and asked them to book tickets and they nevr answerd calls after that. in return when they visited india they were throwing tantrums that my mom never visited them . they also distanced themselves from all out close relations who are financially not well off..they refrained from inviting one mamu who is financially drained and invited the other one who has his son settled in US. I never understand this equation while I see some people who settle abroad or financial well off are so humble and grounded what makes others so insecure.