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Dealing With Guests Coming To See Baby

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Needtobestrong, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Sometimes we go out with baby or go to someone's house for get together, function etc ..sometimes guests come home to see baby .in situations in general lot of moms come across situations where friends, relatives etc try to handle the baby, touching, playing, pinching, giving kiss to baby etc..like near cheeks..
    Many people don't have that much common sense to wash hands before holding baby and touch the baby's hands, cheeks etc just like that..no one even thinks that they maybe passing on germs by doing so..
    Even if hand wash, sanitizer etc are provided, sometimes they deliberately don't use out of laziness..
    Without being rude, is it possible to not let people handle baby, any ideas to avoid such things? Sometimes elderly people try to handle, and in joint family setup it becomes difficult to avoid such guests..
    I have seen few people openly coughing and sneezing near babies without any shame..
    My in laws don't care much..in my absence they let anyone and everyone to handle my baby..
    MIL says.."why do u need to follow this?anyway once baby is rolling over and crawling they'll put anything and everything in mouth...u can't control that..then what will you do when baby puts germs inside the mouth?let baby get immunity.."
    And MIL gets offended by the idea of her people being restricted..
    There have been few arguments earlier..
    My baby is yet to catch up with weight..due to being born with low birthweight..
    They keep saying that I m trying to avoid people, etc..
    Recently one elderly couple came home to see my baby, and that lady literally snatched my baby from my hands and without washing hands..She was holding my baby very close ..i had to give some excuse like diaper change, need to make baby sleep etc and take my baby back..
    One more lady brought her two year old kid and that boy tried to pull my baby's hair and legs etc..the mom of that baby was not around and I had a tough time fending that kid off...
    Sometimes I feel so sleep deprived I want to make my baby and sleep for few hours but occasionally guest drop in at afternoon times and try to keep baby occupied such that baby also doesn't sleep hence i also miss my naps..
    Hence I avoid social occasions and also don't like inviting people..
    Till baby is 1. Or 1.5 yr old lots of precautions are to be taken with hygiene right..
    Please give suggestion how you deal with such situations?
     
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  2. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    With my child i was direct. Look at it like this your baby cannot defend itself. It's the mums job to do that until the baby is able to express an opinion. Being the mum trumps everything else.

    I had hand sanitisers (which i no longer trust; that's a different story) and would firmly tell anyone - even relatives in their 80s to clean their hands first. Similarly if the child gets distressed or starts crying, I'll immediately rescue her saying, "I'm sorry. I don't want her to be distressed. We can try again in a while."

    As for little kids, it is really the parents' job to keep them in check. Again, nothing to stop you from firmly saying, "no touching!" If the parent doesn't like it tough. They ought to Ave done their job properly.

    As a mum beig firm is important.
     
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  3. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks guesshoo..
    Friends pls give ur inputs..
    Some cousins are expected to visit with naughty children..
    Need to manage those 2-3 hrs somehow.
     
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks guesshoo..
    Friends pls give ur inputs..
    Some cousins are expected to visit with naughty children..
    Need to manage those 2-3 hrs somehow.
     
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Please be with your kid when you suspect potential harm to your kid by others, be it intentional or unintentional. We, as parents, specially the mothers need to be extra careful when it comes to our helpless tiny kids.
    If you are expected to do any chores during the time of those visitors, find an excuse like feeding the kid, diaper change, or attending a crying/sick baby or whatever, but stay with the kid. Even if he/she is sleeping, stay around. It is just 2-3 hrs, and you can skip all the works to be with the kid.

    One of my H's oldest aunt handled my kid in an inappropriate way. I was too sure that my kid is hurt and uncomfortable that time. He was only 3 months then, and he couldn't even express his discomfort other than crying.
    But everyone pretended as if the kid was crying since he saw that aunt for the first time. My instinct said something was wrong, so I immediately asked her to lift the baby comfortably, to which my MIL said, that aunt has seen even grand kids.. and how dare I was to teach her how to lift the kid properly.
    Of course I was a new mom, and I had to learn a lot by then to lift my own kid. That's a diff story. But I did not give up, but asked that aunt to lift it differently or else give back the kid as he was uncomfortable.
    That of course created some mess up at home. But I was happy that I saved my kid, and ensured my motherly love without giving it up for my sanity.
     
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