1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Dealing With An Extremely Stubborn Child?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by anika987, Sep 27, 2019.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,235
    Likes Received:
    19,847
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Maybe I should let them be on their own.Me pampering and giving attention could be also a reason for her tantrum.Thank you so much for that insight

    She just called me ugly and pass away and I ignored her and started reading something.

    She calmed down a bit and ran away.She is not even bothered
     
    messedup likes this.
  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,235
    Likes Received:
    19,847
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah school lunch is what am going to do from next week.Me toiling for nothing is a waste of time and energy.How long can they have that same pizza lunch anyways?
     
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,147
    Likes Received:
    5,086
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Our children on play dates get great reviews from parents of their dates, no matter how bad they behave at home. Exchanges with other parents can bring home a pleasant child once in a while. And that behavior might stick, when tantrums begin to sound sillier and sillier to themselves as they grow up.
     
  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,545
    Likes Received:
    10,860
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    She will also say - do this makeup this way. Or why are you driving like this, drive like that. To the person who taught her the make up and gave a few driving lessons.
    Don't take it personally. IF you do, she will take advantage of it.
    Yes, only when we become mothers ourselves do we realize the extent our mothers toiled for us.
     
  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    2,539
    Likes Received:
    6,967
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Even though I have no inputs for this post I can share my observation with you. It may not be true in all cases, but I have observed this in my family.

    We all cousins have siblings except one cousin who is a single child for her parents. Somehow she turned out to be more adamant than any of us. Same in my sister/sisters' in law family too. The single child is more stubborn than the one with siblings.

    Maybe having a sibling will change your kid from being stubborn. Or it may have nothing at all to do with a sibling. I'm not sure of it.
    I'm not sure if she has any sibling and no I'm not telling if she doesn't have one you plan :blush:-that is something you and hubby will decide. But Just sharing my observation.

    And no other inputs from my end!
     
    anika987 likes this.
  6. rgz

    rgz Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    539
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    That's a valid point and generally (exceptions aside) it happens to be true.
     
    anika987 and Anusha2917 like this.
  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,545
    Likes Received:
    10,860
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Yeah yeah yeah. Enhance your misery by adding another such thing to the mix.
    This is like saying have a baby, fix the marriage. Have another baby, fix the baby that fixed the marriage.

    I'm laughing as I ype this. Hope you don't take offense.
     
    Radha99, anika987, Anusha2917 and 2 others like this.
  8. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    There are great ideas already..another point I would like to add is talking to her about respect. Instilling in her the absolute non negotiable need to respect everyone as a person first.

    I noticed such things cropping up in my child at around 6 too. Perhaps they realise that their words can wound us and that power gets to their h3ad. I would usually ignore for the first time but then stop her on her tracks asking if she would like it if anyone spoke to her that way. Insist that if she has to be respected, she needs to respect others too. Also consequence of taking away stuff helped.

    When chilling out I've made lists of what she wants from life - the kind of person she wants to grow up to be. Then we check whether she is on track to being a smart kind person. I asked her to make a list of things she might not want to do but must do straight away after getting up - get out of bed, brush, shower, get dressed etc. Then ticked them off everyday giving stars with a reward for n number of stars.

    We talked a.lot about every day people being inspiring- a child who performed without any prior warning though she wa just beginning to learn the instrument; someone stopping to help a in the park; even about someone giving us way while driving.

    Talking about what was nice about something that crossed our path helped and we also talked about what we would do differently than someone else after an unpleasant experience. It helped shape my child greatly I feel.

    I watch and read a lot of brain development, child rearing, kids development type material. I show her select bits from those. Especially from reality shows. It has an profound effect on her

    Sadly adding another child to the mix didn't help fixing the attitude probs. It moved the goal post further away due to sijlig rivalry.
     
    KashmirFlower and anika987 like this.
  9. rgz

    rgz Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    539
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Arrogance can sometimes come out as stupidity too.
    No one incl me suggested to have another, stated (rather agreed with previous poster) it more as a recognition of a fact. Number of kids is personal decision by a couple, and I am not stupid to not realize that.
     
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,545
    Likes Received:
    10,860
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    When someone who has no experience states the same and adds an observation it’s some sort of quaint observation. When another experienced person chimes in with such anecdotes seems quite laugh worthy.
     
    guesshoo likes this.

Share This Page