I joined work in a family office last year.Boss is fine but his wife we talk only 15 minutes but she is never happy no matter what work I do They are above sixty years age. I have been working so hard and giving my best and even extra work hours but she compares me with previous ladies who worked there.I know I have submitted claims and got back the money they are owed and wants my company to do well. No matter what I do is not enough!! I am like what the heck!! Today she is like why am I giving you more pay when we don’t get good work.I thought is she kidding me? I wanted to give her a piece of my mind but kept quiet. another problem is she only gives instructions and don’t communicate.Its always like she is only right and I am too calm and try to explain politely and there are instances where she slams the phone down or Just shuts me up.Saying this like utter nonsense work etc etc what bothers me is i really try my bat. today am so upset. I don’t know what more I can do. every place had some issue and this environment I really tried my hardest to eat but this lady won’t understand my explanations and even if I prove her wrong she won’t care and jump to next topic but she is always like standing on fire. hmm..am sure all you ladies have tough time at work.How do you handle? How does it actually work in a professional environment? What else I can do
I like my job.. but question is ..is this kind of boss normal in a work place? Coz I don’t wanna quit coz I can desensitize myself which I have but today I felt she is just being unreasonable and just yelling and never listens to my inputs
can you please give more clarity. what does it mean by good work. did you have 1 on 1 and went thru the items you completed and the issues with them. if there are issues. learn and fix it. if there are none then respectfully question on what are the excpectations. well as you said, you work in a family based company, they work different. they do not ahead to the typical corp style
@lavani, It is not a family-based company but it is a Family Office meaning, a wealthy family setting up a set of professionals to invest their funds in private/public companies to get a better return on investments than standard investments available in Mutual Funds, Stock Market, Treasury and Municipal Bonds. @anika987, In a small set-up like that, generally, family involvement will be high even though they may leave the operations to be managed by professionals. Start preparing an index of everything you have achieved so far including individual tasks that were successfully completed. Even during annual review, try to have your own list rather than what is being highlighted by your boss. Generally, to manage payroll, the managers will focus on generic statements like, "you could do more", "previous person in your role did a lot more", "no time for a prolonged on the job training and we expect you to catch up quickly" and so on. Most importantly never allow these negative comments to get to you to the extent that you don't like to wake up to go to work everyday. Your self-confidence is your greatest motivator and never allow that to be down. Nothing that is not specific as a feedback need to be taken seriously. If they tell you anything specific that you could improve on, then, you can take it seriously and work on that specific skillset. Always remember everything you do everyday is adding value to your resume and personal growth. You don't worry about trash talk too much unless it is affecting your daily work schedule and performance. I had a boss for 9 years when I used to work for a public company, he uses verbal abuses as a mean to control everyone working for him. He never uttered a word of appreciation for anyone and didn't believe in appreciation contributing to the performance. All these 9 years, everyone who worked for him realized this strategy from him and we worked together closely to never bother about his language and did what we need to do with a bullet focus on building our career. It helped so much to all of us when the company was sold and we moved on to do other things. Stay motivated at all circumstances as one person's opinion is not going to affect your self-confidence.
The boss is an elderly lady above 60. She gets angry a lot and likes to Give instructions and does not take input. I work so hard and I try my bes..but somehow she always compares me to previous ladies and also Mentioned like even a 9th grader can do my work better.. I felt upset but today it escalate a little bit and I told her “mam I know you are upset but I have been working very hard and hope you understand” later today things got resolved . It’s okay..I am learning a lot here so I will be ok.. I also respect my work so I was thinking am doing my best.. But just hate this comparison factor
Dear @anika987 Putting in extra hours and working hard doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meeting the objectives outlined in your Terms of Reference. It’s essential to assess whether your efforts align with expectations and demonstrate satisfactory progress in those key areas. While hard work is valuable, working smart is just as crucial in today’s work environment. You don’t need to put in extra hours unless you’re learning something new or gaining valuable experience. Once you’re familiar with the tasks, efficiency should allow you to complete your work within the designated hours. Speaking from an employer’s perspective, as someone managing a family business (not a family office) small businesses often prioritize results over processes, as they are typically profit driven. Keep this in mind as you navigate your role. Consider rephrasing her instructions in a calm yet firm manner to initiate a constructive conversation. This approach ensures you fully understand what is being communicated. Avoid encouraging disrespect by being overly passive. Maintain a balance of firmness and a composed tone. Remember, an abuser often reacts to the victim’s body language, so assertive communication can help set boundaries It depends on the basis of her comparison. If she is comparing you to your predecessor, who delivered excellent work and achieved great results for the same salary, it’s understandable that your employer would reference that performance. However, if the comparison is based on work style, physical appearance, race, or religion, that is unacceptable. If it’s the former, focus on delivering high-quality work and making consistent progress. Consider taking relevant courses, seeking guidance from experienced professionals, and utilizing technology to enhance your efficiency. Strive to meet your employer’s expectations, as long as they are reasonable.
Thank you all so much! Infact after this boss wife.. I want to fall at the feet of my mother in law and wash away my sins.She really seems like an angel!!
Trust you to find the positive in a situation. I don’t think there’s much you can do to change the boss's wife's behavior. Even if you respond smartly or politely, she’ll likely keep making those comments just because she can as there is no formal HR and policies in place. Maybe she’s the reason the previous women quit. It's possible that her bitterness or criticism come from personal challenges or struggles that are not visible. I like these two quotes: "The way people treat you is a reflection of them, not you." "Don't take things personally. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams, and their own struggles." — Don Miguel Ruiz I liked @Viswamitra 's advice. Don’t take anything seriously unless it’s specific feedback you can act on. If it is, work on improving that skill. Also, his suggestion to keep track of everything you’ve achieved and how it adds to your resume and personal growth. This matters because we often overlook the many small tasks we complete, especially the unexpected problems we solve that never get recorded. Try to ignore her unless it’s making you dread going to work. Some days, it’ll really get to you, and on those days, vent here or to friends. Just don’t make any rash decisions. Above all, remember that you have been able to find multiple jobs, and chances are they need you more than you need to retain this job.
