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Dealing With A Narcissit

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by aniya, May 22, 2022.

  1. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Forget about curing his issues. Figure out why you are with him in the first place. Some questions to ask yourself:

    What makes you feel you deserve to be treated in this way?

    Why do you feel a need to be involved with someone who needs to be cured?

    Why are you still with him?
    .
     
    Laks09 and KashmirFlower like this.
  2. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Read in Quora forums about Narcissists. They have same behavioral patterns and plenty of them shared what happened after living with them. It can run in families so it could be not just him
     
  3. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil Bronze IL'ite

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    RUN……
    NOW!!!

    These ppl never ever change! Even after decades.. And no, you can’t change them!

    Even splitting up with him will be a big pain … be mentally prepared for it. Read up how to break up with narc BF. Stay safe.
     
    geethaattiguppe likes this.
  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    He will get worse with age, @aniya He doesn’t love you. He loves only himself and the image he creates by having you in his life. It’s all about appearances.
    He will run out of victims as he grows older and you will be the only one available for him. Don’t do this to yourself.
    You have already given him a good chunk of time you won’t ever get back. Do you want to give him more?

    He doesn’t know empathy. Everything is about him. There is no changing him. Leave. Now.
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  5. Bujji32786

    Bujji32786 Senior IL'ite

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    save yourself before marriage.
     
  6. rosequeen

    rosequeen Bronze IL'ite

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    There are many other aspects you should consider. Is he successful in life and is he a strong confident personality? How does he handle stress, break down and yells or able to take it? Thinking a lot about oneself is not always a bad thing, for one many narcs are highly successful in life. Also ask yourself, is his behavior (not helping and criticizing you) making you stronger and more self reliant or breaking you down.
     
  7. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    There is no cure unless some wants to help themselves. Check yourself out . Better late than never .
     
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  8. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil Bronze IL'ite

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    Whoa!! Please do not listen to this advice. This is utterly ridiculous.
     
  9. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    this statement is good enough. Narcs are very good in confusing the reality out of people around them. Break up and run before you become insane and take medications.
     
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  10. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I wish there was a "Made me Think" button next to the "Like" button. I don't know enough about the topic to agree, disagree or even agree to disagree about the above points. It did make me read a few links:
    Verywell Loved: What Is—and Isn't—Narcissism in a Relationship
    What You Should Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
    How to Recognize Someone With Covert Narcissism

    I learned that there is narcissism (a casually handed-down label) and there is NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I looked more closely at the traits of NPD, how it is diagnosed, and the treatments. In particular, that the impairments/ symptoms "must not be typical for the individual's culture" got my attention.
    What You Should Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
    "Impairments in personality function and expression of personality traits must also be stable over time and across different situations; must not be typical for the individual's culture, environment, or stage of development; and must not be due to the direct influence of substance use or a general medical condition."
    It's a fascinating topic. I'd have liked to know more about and discuss but time doesn't permit. I have four graduation cards to write in. : ) And cannot use the same wisdom for all four. : )

    =======
    OP, sorry for the tangent. Best wishes for an informed decision.
     
    rosequeen likes this.

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