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Dad and DH not getting along! :|

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ArunaSashi, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. ArunaSashi

    ArunaSashi Bronze IL'ite

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    Here goes.. My dad is treating my DH as his brand new adopted child and is telling him what to do and how to do..

    If he does that to me and my bro, we know how to handle him.. We just say 'dad, i'll take care of it' and move on..

    He keeps on suggesting things and repeating those suggestions like they have to be taken..

    DH hates to get advice, that too unsolicited.. He won't even tolerate this from his parents.. and as he is a SIL, he feels weird to say (stop advising).. But is very uncomfortable with this.. If this continues, he might say something to my dad which my sound rude.. He is even not feeling good about coming to mom's place with me cos of this..

    My dad is a bit emotionally unaware.. He doesn't understand what the other person would think if says something.. Just goes on blindly expressing his views.. Me, my mom and my bro have tried to make my dad understand.. Hope he does.. Am scared that these 2 ppl will drift away from each other!!!
     
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  2. ArunaSashi

    ArunaSashi Bronze IL'ite

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    53 views and no reply?! :idontgetit:

    Tomorrow we have a ceremony (thali changing in third month), I have come to parent's place which is only two blocks away from our place(incl. inlaws).. Asked him to come to parent's place to stay.. He generally stays here if I stay..

    Today he said he doesn't feel like it and he's not coming.. :(
     
  3. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    ArunaSashi,

    You tell your dad politely before your DH yells at him.
     
  4. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    I am not sure but how often does your DH meet your dad, the way you wrote your post it looks like your DH has moved into your house after marriage. I mean why would DH meet your father and mom so often after marriage?

     
  5. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    Women (DILs) take a whole lot of crap from MILs and bear their eccentricities.

    Why can't you and your DH take your father's advise on a positive note, instead of complaining.

    What will you or your DH do if a superior at work or some elder outside the family gives you advice? You are polite to them, right?? Why can't you be so with your own father??
     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry, over interfering from FIL will DEFINITELY spoil the relationship. Aruna - pls. tell your father to not do this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  7. rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    You have to stop this. If your MIL constantly gives unsolicited advice, how will you feel ?

    Your dad may have the best of intentions but in some situations, too little is too much. This is one of those situations. And you should be the person to tell that. Tell your dad firmly and let him know its a matter of your happiness and peace of mind in your marriage.I am thinking he will get the message.
     
  8. ais_1982

    ais_1982 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I have the same problm as u, with both mum and dad...Nowadays my hubby has started sharing his irritation to me about getting too much of suggestions from my parents and their follow up on those things...I have alrdy had talks with my dad...He will be quiet for a while and then start again...

    I am just trying my best to stop this from happening....You also please stop this before the relationship sours...
     
  9. ArunaSashi

    ArunaSashi Bronze IL'ite

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    No, we don't live my parents.. We just visit them on weekends sometimes, since we(along with parents-in-law) live only a few blocks away..
     
  10. ArunaSashi

    ArunaSashi Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks all, for your opinions.. My dad has taken what we said, and did not give any advices when we visited yesterday.. :thumbsup

    Hope he continues that without feeling any resentment towards DH, as my dad only advices because he wants something to talk about, with him..

    Just a topic to chat!

    Hope their relationship goes good..:)
     

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