Cuurent Situation

Hi All,

Married for 8 years, love marriage .
After last years problem, I tried to stick on to my marriage and changed many things to see improvement in our relationship. After I reached hubby's place , my family parents saying created some problem for hubby that he is not leading a proper life with me. I explained him n said it was not my mistake n asked him to leave this issue. he knows I always stood by him n how much ever my parents explained I didn't leave him. we sat n discussed our issue but he always pointed out it is only my mistake n he didn't want a child because we are not in good terms n the baby can be born with abnormalities when people fight while planning . He is been giving this reason last 2 years from when we started planning n I knew this was a shitty reason. He says during fight it is difficult for men to plan n after 8 years of marriage if he says this reason i don't know what I should I do. After this, whenever we had arguments he asked me to leave home . Happened 5-6 times in 3 months but I defended saying it is love marriage why I should leave(he became sure I won't leave him at any cost) again he said we are fighting n can't have child. For this, I said we can avoid fight by not talking much(won't interfere much) and once we have baby things will change.

Then his dad involved and advised him to have kid soon.We then went for treatment and got pregnant through IUI in one month. During pregnancy he didn't support me emotionally and used to sleep separately . Even when I tried to be next to him he started shouting at me. So I used to be in my room. But he used to buy things if I tell him. I thought things were ok n will get better.

In next few weeks it was his marriage n I was advised not to travel. After the wedding he came home n created problem because I didn't wish his sister. I apologized for that and I said it was not intentional and will wish her . He scolded me saying I should have wished on the wedding day and no use wishing after 5 days. (Called and wished her after this fight) he scolded me saying I'm not fit for his family and said you cant control or will let you loose because we have baby now. And asked me to leave home again (I'm not sure if he really means it Everytime or telling that to scare me).. I got scared and next day had spotting so called him n said I want to leave to my mothers place. He said wihis mother will be coming in few days n she will feel bad thinking I left because I don't like her coming here . So I accepted n stayed . Meanwhile I didn't have care or affection from him n during morning sickness there was no help and if I ask him why he is behaving like this he just simply said he is angry on me so he didnt want to do it

I took him out and had a talk again n decided to start fresh between us. His mom came home by then. The next day asked me to for a medical scan with his mother . He could very well accompany me but insisted that I should only travel with her. I told him clearly that I was not in good terms with his mother and asked him why he is pressurising me even said I can go alone. Then he again said we are not suitable for each other n asked me to leave home again. This time I said he can leave me in future for his family and said I am going to parents home .for this he asked to give in writing that I'm leaving on my own and will not come back n I will take all the responsibilities. Next day took his mother for vaccine but could not come for my scan . Again his reason had WFH but when we decided he didn't know they will give him WFH . On the day I left home he created huge scene n started scolding me .( Not sure if he was genuinely worried for me or worried that I will not come home till baby's birth).

After that there was no communication between us n in few days I had miscarriage. Once he heard this news he started abusing my whole family that it was their mistake n they should have advised me to stay at husbands place. He never took any step to have a kid but he was talking like a great father. He visited our home for 15 minutes after this incident. It is been 1 month now and there is no call from him. I have been calling everyday but he ignores me. If I ask him is the solution he is saying he can't think of anything now.


I can understand that he wants me to come back on my own if I want to but he is coming with many conditions. But he won't listen to mine because I don't have the authority now. He is going abroad for 2 years studies n does not know about our future. I have tolerated a lot n still like him but he can be like this without any attachment for years together. If I ask separation he is telling I see that you have decided to move now. There is no love, emotional or any kind of support n he is vengeance mode with my family . He himself said he would not have allowed to my place for baby birth n would not allowed my mother to my place. Im torn between everything. Now I rejoined work n he is done some verification to check to see my earnings. I told him package but once I came to parents place he has done this without my knowledge. I don't understand why he did this. He just wants me to stay with him for the wife tag. Not sure if it is society. Love marriage n his parents are separated so might create bad name for his family. He provides food n shelter now but won't include me in his financial purchase which he told long back. But still trusted him and was unable to leave him He clearly told me that his mom is more important than me.

We had lots of fight and tried everytime for compromise with him. I see that involving relatives had created lot of trouble but had no choice when he was cooperating for baby. Now because I stick to him whatever happens he is controlling me a lot.
If I go back he has conditions that we can't plan baby till visit psychiatrist n if he goes abroad can't have for minimum 2 years . Already we are in 30s. My family can't visit our place and if we have kid can't be taken to siblings place. They need to apologise him because they questioned him during our fights . Is this marriage worth it ?