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Curious About Kids

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by MonikaSG, Dec 24, 2017.

  1. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Present generation kids are much smarter and intelligent than we were. They have access to all the gadgets from the time they born. They have their own observation and thinking about all the things going around. They need an explanation that can convince their curiosity almost about everything. They are so adamant and don't go easily with anyone's choice. They know how to make others act according to them. They actually are very smart intellectual and observant.

    We have to be very careful at each conversation in all the stages. If we want they should always discuss their life to us then we have to behave ideally in all of the conversation and also otherwise. They will come to us only when we will be a suitable option to them else they can go to anyone whom they find suitable.

    Once I remember I was in class 6th and discussed with my mother that there is a guy in my class who stare at me. I might think about marrying to him not sure but told her to support me in any case. It was a childish thing but my mother was so surprised and not able to respond. From that day I decided never to talk such issues to her.

    I as a parent do not want my kids to do this to me. I need to be very careful with my response.

    Kids need to learn a lot and they will come to us only if we are capable of fulfilling those needs. We are not the only option left we are one of the several options that they have.

    I want to learn from everyone's experience different cases that they had so far with their kids. As in specific case what you did that you find the ideal thing to do at that time and can also discuss the issues where you want to know the ideal response to be given to your kids.
     
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  2. Tamrakshar

    Tamrakshar Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes Monica, the new generation is definitely smarter than us. My mother cannot operate a smart phone, but my 3-year-old daughter can. My 5-year-old elder daughter can operate almost all electronic gadgets that I have. She plays Reversi and defeats the computer.

    Sometimes, I interact with them at their level. I tell them that I, like them, go to a school.
     
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  3. momsky

    momsky Gold IL'ite

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    My 9 year old daughter and I were having our evening walk when she told me that she someday she'd rather adopt than get pregnant because alot of kids do not any have parents to look after them.

    I was speechless, proud, and scared at the same time. Speechless because I just couldn't believe what I heard, proud because it looks like i'm raising her well, and scared because it might come true and I dream of looking after her during and after her pregnancy/ies (so selfish of me).

    I told her to have her own child first. She asked why and I told her when her brothers marry in the future, their wives will ask their own mothers to look after them, which means I will not get my own chance to do the same with my own daughter.

    This happened a few months ago but my response to my daughter has been bothering me. I feel it was right but wrong at the same time.
     
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  4. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    As per my understanding your reply was not completely wrong. But the way she created that in her mind matters. She could take that as a ongoing thing and forget about it or she think further about it and can think of you as a caring mom. Selfish is an inbuilt nature. It will come in any way. Other more experienced may give better opinion. But you replied as per your feeling that's a great job done at your part.
     
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  5. PLK

    PLK Silver IL'ite

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    What you feel is right, but your reasoning of her having her own kids is not justified!!! I dont have a daughter, does that mean I will never have chance to look after any girl (Why not, my daughter in law will also be my baby)
     
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  6. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    I had posted this below post earlier when a parent had posted a question about her child's infatuation n about handling it ...

    --------------------------------

    My son came to me n said he likes this girl in his class. N he wants to ride a bike with her sitting at the back. He apparently saw that scene on a movie, he was about 6 then.

    We were taken back but it was kind of cute. My husband was like "thank god now I know he's atleast straight".

    We told him he can do that once he's older.

    A year later, he said he liked another girl. I asked are you guys friends. He said no. I said be friends first, that's important. They are friends now. His crush on this girl is gone now, 2 reasons, the mystery is gone n another friend of his likes her.

    A year later, he says he likes this girl. But she's of a different religion. I asked why should that bother. He says can I marry a girl from this religion. I say, why do you have to think about marriage, you can't get married till you finish all your studies n work right. He says yes. I say then why bother about it now. You guys can be friends now right. He says ok.

    What I am trying to say is, this is a normal thing. Be super glad they are sharing it with you. Emphasise on friendship. The mystery is shortlived when no hype is added. N in reality, they really wana do nothing about it. It's just the way they feel. Right guidance is important now for them to have healthy n respectful relationships later. You being open n friendly n have conversations in a way that they feel that you understand them are the key points here.

    If you choose to be blindly strict about it, they will only do it behind your back. I have seen Stricter parents kids being devils n the ones with the open friendly parents actually being responsible.

    --------------------------------

    Now because of our open communication, he's ok to lemme know even the things that he feels shy to share with his friends. He tells me not to tell anyone too. Somehow over time, due to my insistence on his dad being included in this 'trust' circle, he's ok for his dad to know his secrets.

    It's only because I have taken away the fear of open communication, n this is regardless of me being a strict mom in terms of his discipline. But I explain to him about why I am strict.

    It's seriously a whole lot of explaining, now I think about it, haha, but it works mutually.
     
  7. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanx for sharing your experience. My kids are too small am yet to have that experience. Now also they need my complete attention. They want a reply for whatever they say. Most of the time their talks are senseless but it has sense for them. Also my elder son is too naughty and same time sensitive too. When I tell him to do something he start playing here and there don't listen to me when I shout at him he start crying and say pyaar se samjhaya karo. I really get confused what to do and how to make him follow my comments. When someone kiss the younger one he always looks for his turn but most of the time the person forget to notice him. That time I show him love so that he don't feel this. I really get into trouble of how to handle him carefully.
     
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  8. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    We watched the movie coco n in that it has all ancestor picture and my son started asking y don't we put our ancestor pics mom?i had no answer but to say we have it in my mom place we see there.. mil house does not have any..
     
  9. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Then you can say good idea we should also have one and try to locate everyone's pics and make a collage. He will feel the importance of his words.


     
  10. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    The most honest response is always the best one. :thumbsup:

    And Merry Christmas, @momsky!
     
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