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Cuppa with k2s

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by knot2share, Feb 24, 2010.

  1. knot2share

    knot2share Gold IL'ite

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    <OBJECT id=ieooui classid=clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D></OBJECT><STYLE> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </STYLE>The below write-up has been classified Restricted +18. It contains material suitable only for audience 18yrs and above.

    I am trying something different this time. Let us just say that I am trying to do a Kamalji. We all know how skilled he is in building up on a news item when he presents it to us on his blogs. The blogs have never failed to entertain us. I decided to do something similar - a beginner’s attempt you can call it, on adopting Kamalji’s style of writing. It may not sound more juicy or interesting but here is a basic version that I could come up with. C’mon grab a cuppa and sit with me for a few minutes of light reading.

    In <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 /><st1:country-region><st1:place>Australia</st1:place></st1:country-region> we have something called the mX newspaper. This is available daily free of cost for the commuters in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. After a long day’s work, when people rush into the stations to board their respective trains back home, they quickly pick up a copy of this newspaper stacked on a stand that says “PICK ME UP”. (I am told that such newspapers are avilabe in other cities too). It is quite refreshing to read the paper (if I can call it that) after a long boring day of office work. The newspaper has a nice blend of fun news, general news, sport, business, IT, travel, crosswords, sudoku, star signs predictions, puzzles, health, gossip, letters to editor, opinion polls, fashion and entertainment. Quoting from the internet here, mX covers the issues that matters the most in a concise, upbeat, funky, intelligent and sexy way! Now I feel it will be a sure delight for Kamalji to get a hand on a copy. He always says that blogs chase him wherever he goes and I can guarantee this paper will never fail in his eyes, because he will surely stumble upon at least one topic from each day’s edition to blog on. So what did I stumble upon recently when I put on Kamalji’s reading glasses?? Here is one that caught those eyes. (I am quoting the newspaper but refraining from using the names of the people involved)

    TITLE OF THE ARTICLE: PRISON PASSION

    A loved-up burglar who regularly broke into prison for sex with his girl-friend is facing a permanent stretch himself. 33 yr old burglar scaled a 3meter fence, dodged surveillance cameras and used a skeleton key made from a spoon to break into the low security jail in the town of <st1:city><st1:place>Bielefeld</st1:place></st1:city>, <st1:country-region><st1:place>Germany</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

    For almost a month, other female inmates were driven to distraction by the passionate moans from a cell in the Detention House of the jail for petty criminals. It got so bad that the convicts broke the unwritten law of the underworld and told guards about the couple’s illicit trysts. Some of the other women felt their sleep was being disturbed, while others feared that the man might try to come and visit them too. They were believed to be going at it quite energetically, apparently. Lots of grunting and groaning, whispering sweet nothings, as quoted by an inmate.

    Prison officials installed a surveillance camera and caught the burglar on his nocturnal mating missions. Prosecutors said that he would go on trial for trespass and could end up behind bars himself. As he was frogmarched to a police van, he shouted, “But I love her. We’re engaged!”

    His application to pay a conjugal visit to his unnamed girl-friend had been denied because she gave the name of another man as her partner when she was first jailed.

    I am not sure if I should be feeling sorry for him or not. I think this burglar was really committed to his girl-friend and no matter what; he was trying to seal his relationship with his girl-friend even if he had to surpass several obstacles! And see what happens in the end to a person who was being loyal!


    Here is another interesting piece that caught the eyes.

    TITLE OF THE ARTICLE: OPERATION PERFECT EYEBROWS

    If too much plucking has made your eyebrows a wispy afterthought, then worry no more – eyebrow transplants are now the latest thing in cosmetic surgery.

    Previously it has been almost impossible to replicate the natural angle and growth of human eyebrow and eyelashes. But surgeons have now developed a technique to implant one follicle at a time and control the shape of the hair – giving you thick lashes or striking eyebrows!

    A <st1:country-region><st1:place>UK</st1:place></st1:country-region> transplant surgeon said that in the three hour eyebrow operation, a thin strip of skin about 6cms long and 5 mm wide is taken from the patient’s scalp, where the hair is softest. Each follicle is then removed from the skin and the surgeon makes up to 50 tiny incisions where the eyebrow should be and inserts each hair.

    There is, however, still a wait for perfection because it takes two to three months for the new hair to grow through the skin and up to six months for a well defined eyebrow. But at least you know when the hair does come through ( I surely hope so! ), their colour will be custom-blended, with plastic surgeons finding the exact shade to match your skin tone and hair. A lady underwent the $7000 eyebrow transplant after being left with pencil thin brows after too much tampering. “It was completely painless and all done under local anaesthetic”, she claimed. But she will have to cough up again in 18 months, because the colour fades with time!...hahahaha!!!!!!

    This was totally hilarious. Can you imagine the lady going to the eyebrow grooming parlour sitting with tiny foils on each strand on her eyebrow to colour them? A sight unbelievable indeed!!!! But honestly, where are we getting at with all these advancements? Is there no limit to tampering with ourselves? We might soon end up in a place with all women looking like ageless Barbies. How boring!

    While I have recycled the news by sharing it with you, I fail to understand why it is so difficult for the commuters to chuck the paper in the recycle bin that is available in many stations (if not all). The newspaper has a RECYCLE icon on its front page, but we read all the stuff and discard it on the train carelessly. Can’t we be responsible citizens? When I brought this up with my hubby, his reply was, “I am recycling it too by discarding it on the train. Multiple people get to read the same newspaper. Isn’t that also a form of recycling?”

    Thank you for reading and have a great day mate!

    Ooroo :wave.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2010
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  2. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow Sree, So from now on we get a female version of Kamalji kinda blogs too:thumbsup(Just kidding). Seriously when I saw the title the thought passed to my mind was "Tapioca with K2S"(English translation of title). And here I was thinking of reading a blog in which you are describing how you maanged to get hold of (our) Kappa in a rather adventorous way and had it for dinner:rotfl So it was a complete surprise when I read those big red bold letters typed out there(After all what is the relation between tapioca and you-know-what :wink:)

    Eye brow transplant??!! OMG!! where is the science and cosmetic surgery leading us? No idea. First we visit parlours to get it shaped up (I am no exception) then gets a CS done and again parlor visits to get it colored. A few years down the line we can find on Salon menus "Eyebrow coloring Rs.5000) ,afterall it will cost us a fortune for someone to color our brows hair by hair.

    Hmm...about dumping those papers in to recycle bin , nice thought. But kya karoo some are so careless they even forget what is the reason for such bins. But may be as your DH said that too is a form of recycling. EOD the fellow cleanign the train might collect them and put in such bins:idea
     
  3. susri

    susri Silver IL'ite

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    Hi jaya,
    Funny post. :rotfl.
    Regarding eye brow transplantation, its better to cut off full eyebrows.....:biglaughMonolisa style. :) ( Original painting of Monolisa, don't have eyebrows ). Who knows, this may become a latest fashion. :idea
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2010
  4. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    hi shree mole,

    believe it or not ! I was just wondering during my last session here why you have not posted for quite sometime now.Oh, so you wanted to do a kamalji???? hahhah LOVED that phrase

    Well,I am actually sitting with my afternoon cuppa with you:cheers

    i found the news you have shared extremely hilarious...the prison passion :- my heart actually goes out to him paavam,(by now you know how I LOVE villains :) maybe a wrong doer but surely committed to his woman..confirms my strong belief that no one is entirely bad in this world.hhahah

    OMG and what does that lady do till her eyebrows grow completely..sit at home after spending 7000 bucks..:rotfl:rotfl really funny.

    Do keep sharing anything you find interesting :)
     
  5. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear K2s,
    First I must tell you that you have succeeded in
    your attempt. Writing interesting post from the news gathered in a newspaper like Kamalji!!
    In the first news poor man, he had been cheated by the woman!
    A loyal girlfriend will also stick with man no matter what. Fierce loyalty is essential in a relationship and if a man hasthis girlfriend, then he is one lucky dude.
    Today the eye brow is still an important feature of fashion. They are usually well defined and contoured into a specific shape. Celebrities with great looking eyebrows include the very beautiful Tyra Banks and the alluring Angelina JolieIt requires quite a bit of skill and technique in order to perform an eyebrow transplant. This doesn't exactly make them cheap.One other thing you need to keep in mind, is that the transplanted hair will keep growing just as it did on your scalp. After having had an eyebrow transplant, you will regularly need to trim them.Instead of spending so much money and then do the trimming, better we can buy an eyebrow pencil and using our skill in drawing draw eyebrows like a bow. Wow!!! will be looking beautiful. Hina!!People have become crazy and ready to spend to look beautiful .
    with love
    pad
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    dear Knot,

    Now first tahnks for the free publicity to me, HAHA.And this is lovely one, a burglar going to jail to have sex with huis beau eh !Superb.The guy must have been ingenious.

    and the eyebrow thing raised my eyebrows.HAHA

    so everyweek now we look forward to this piece from u, promise us this.

    Ok now i will tell u something, that may make u blush, but in a nice way, i know this is a ladies site, but relax, u will blush the nice way.Here goes

    There is a doctor in London, indian fellow, who mints money, nothing new, in that , but what he cures is different.

    Seems a lot of people, men and women go red in the face, when they are nervous or asked uncomfortable questions.and that gives them away in front of the interviewers.

    So this doctor has fopund out that there is a nerve in the Armpit , or the neck, and he cuts it in a 15 min operation, and the person stops to blush an flush for ever.Price, some 5000 pounds, like 4 lakhs indian rupees.:biglaughaiting list for yr turn, 6 months, and he performs about 5 operations a day.That is a good 20 lakhs income per day eh ! Now dont blush.HAHA

    Now coming to the prisions.Do u know in Jaipur we have an open air Prison ?No guards, they live with their families inside, and are free to go out to the city to work, from 7 am to 7 pm, but they have to return back.

    and do uknow who they are. Some have done a dozen murders !!!!!!!!!!

    I went to interview the warden of the jail a few years back, and i wrote a blog which was a flop, i may repost it again.Some of the prisoners have transport Trucks, crores worth of properties, adn they live like u and me.Soem even have Airconditioners installed in their rooms at their own cost and electricity.HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Now how was this one.

    do u think i should also post these , being inspired by u.I have clippings from newspapers over the last 10 years, of many such incidents, which are sure to catch everyone's eyes and ears.

    But u carry on with yr column, it sure was a great read, that is what we want here, something lighjt, and bring a smile on everyone's face.

    You write damn well, so we want a weekly blog of this kind from u.

    Regards

    kamal
     
  7. greenplanet

    greenplanet New IL'ite

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    Hi K2S, This means we will have now two kamaaal ka posts happening. All the
    more better . I read about eye brow transplants and they also do
    eyelash transplants...all in 2 hours flat. But what i gather is that at present
    they are doing mainly for absence of such hairs due to loss of same
    on account of any abnormality or accidents. Where are we heading ?What else will they come out with next ..... its true now that beauty is in the eyebrow of the holder. Regards GP
     
  8. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    Dear K2s,

    i had a lovely morning, when i read your post. What a true lover the burglar was!:).he was so full of amorous for the lady prisoner, that he dare to trespass the cell:bowdown

    For vanity the lady is ready to part with $7000, and that too for a temporary thing:rotfl

    Through you, we are getting glimpses of Australian life:thumbsup

    Hey keep posting, and as other Ilites mentioned, now we can have lady Kamal in making.
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear k2s

    The below write-up has been classified Restricted +18. It contains material suitable only for audience 18yrs and above.

    Right from my school days, I mean Elementary School days, I had this curiosity and fascination for Adults Only stuff! So when I saw this warning at the start of the blog, I got drawn to it like a butterfly to a flower. After reading it, the first thought that occurred to me was that if Kamalji had written it, there would have been no need for such a warning. In his case, a warning would be necessary only when he wrote something for the kids like Alice in Wonderland! But I can understand why you felt compelled to insert a ‘A’ certificate to a Kamalji-like blog!

    Kamal’s penchant for drawing out juicy news even from mundane stuff is well known. Even if he narrated the story of the Hare and Tortoise, he would have added a para to say that the hare, being over confident about its own speed, would have gone behind a bush to make love to his sweetheart which probably took an eternity and during that time, the Tortoise reached the winning post!

    Tubelight calls herself OJ da’s Ekalavya. I see that you are Kamalji’s Ekalavya! Good to see the tribe increasing! I must compliment you on achieving a wonderfully inimitable Kamalji effect in commenting on the burglar’s romantic escapades. Someone like my sister Iyerviji would have squeezed out an utterly human element from the story and made out how true love transcended everything else!

    I have heard about this newspaper but never really knew the secret of its success. Now I know! This story has all the ingredients of a fascinating drama and is certainly aimed at enlivening the dreary travel back home. To emulate Kamalji, you have selected a really good newspaper! From now on, I can see you giving Kamalji a run for his money!

    “Is there no limit to tampering with ourselves? We might soon end up in a place with all women looking like ageless Barbies. How boring!” I shudder at this prospect! If people lose the power to age gracefully, it could only mean that we have not understood life!

    Sri
     
  10. ashwiniks79

    ashwiniks79 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear K2S,
    Very nice clips, both of them are hilarious....I just could not stop laughing:rotfland as Mindi said, prison passion did cost him much and i think much more than the lady who did spend a fortune to get her eyebrows done.

    Will definately look forward to much more of such postings:thumbsup
     

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