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Cross Cousin Marriages -- Support Or Oppose ?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Hopikrishnan, Apr 20, 2021.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Very interesting topic..in my family I know of some relatives who married within the family but not their immediate cousins, they married their second cousins, I.e either one parent was first cousin of the spouse’s parent..
    No genetic issues, kids are grown up and intelligent and well settled.
    The practice of marrying first cousins was followed much earlier and I don’t think honk it’s so prevalent now ..except in certain communities...
    First Cousins have been considering each other as siblings.
    Of course when kids are grown up, second cousins are still a very good choice for pursuing new marriage alliance, as the families know each other very well, cousins know each other and have some understanding, everything is known about each other’s family background and wealth stays within family circle.
     
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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    On a lighter note, let me confess here that I kind of had a crush on my second cousin during my teenage days..hehe..
    But we dint get much chance to spend time together as we lived in different cities..only met during family get togethers and functions..those days we didn’t have social networking and messaging etc for cousins to have family group and stay in touch...
    After i reached marriageable age, elders had considered me as a match for him and I was happy about it, but due to problem of age difference and horoscope issue and different career goals, i.e he wasn’t ready to get settled and I too was more grown up and practical about relationships etc, it didn’t go forward...
    I but I do think about him now and then.
    This post reminded me of him again...haha :laughing:
     
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  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    I think several indian communities make a differentiation between parallel and cross cousins among first cousins, and prohibit only the parallel cousin matches. The wealth staying within the family is usually the major reason to look favorably at a cross cousins match.... True even in European royalty in the past centuries.
    Elder approved (and even encouraged) crushes are quite the norm in families with age- and wealth-matched cross cousins.
     
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  4. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    My parents are first cousins. And my sister (3rd daughter) is disabled with Ushers syndrome. That is she is deaf and having tunnel vision. And we dont know, how long she is going to have her vision(decreasing and now 10%).

    After going through all of these, my sister fell in love with first cousin( who share the same genetics from our grand parents and great grand parents). I was begging her not to marry him, considering how our sister is suffering. love is blind. She got married. Didn't have child for 8 years. Again requested her to adopt a baby. she didnt listen and went for IVF. Now the boy is 4 years old and autistic. She is pregnant again and I am praying the baby should be normal.

    Please stay away from this practice. Teach your kids to treat cousins like siblings. Dont talk about marrying cousins even for fun. When elders talk like that, dont encourage them.
     
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  5. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    ^^This.
     
  6. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Paternal sister/or maternal uncle's children are considered
    murai maappillai/muraip penn.There is absolutely no gotra problem.
    But children born out of such marraiges may suffer from physical/mental problems. Genetic scientists say that all children need not have problems.But the children with defects-90 percent of them are born out of such marriages.We have to educate our children about this and avoid such relationship.

    Jayasala42
     
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  7. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    Marriages, even between very stable, emotionally grown up adults, can fall apart when they beget a child with congenital health problems. Couples who stay together to raise such children must have an enormous store of affection for one another.

    Anyhow... I know we've all seen movies where two boys meet in college, become good friends, such good friends that they take one another home to introduce the friend to their sisters. A direct exchange marriage happens. Each marry the other's sister. And they go on to live happily ever after, each couple producing a couple of children -- a male and female. So far so good. However, if their clans are into cross cousin marriages, and the generations that come after the direct exchange marriage happens to engage in that manner of match making, troublesome things would ensue [circles are females, triangles are males]:
    [​IMG]
    2-generations of cross-cousin matches.
     
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  8. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    We only trying our best thats all...people dont fall in love after asking gotras... esp those love at first sights who then plan all sorts of things to know the name and number of the 'love'. Gotras wont take preference unfortunately :hmmm:.

    Also, if you take the west where re-marraiges are ok, its all so mixed up, its impossible to know every permutation.
     
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