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Crib or family bed?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by geeta_sathish, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. geeta_sathish

    geeta_sathish Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    Need your valuable tips on this question. Please share your experiences on which is better.

    Is it better if the baby sleeps in the family bed or is it safe and healthy for the new-born to sleep separately in a crib?

    I have heard from people who buy the crib that it is not of much use as the baby will most of the time be only on the mother's bed. Is it safe and healthy for the baby? Also, if its a crib, then how easy is it to feed the baby, change diapers etc?

    We live in an apartment and don't have a lot of space. But I would like to do what is best for the baby.

    Thanks in advance as always for your wonderful suggestions.

    Take care.
     
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  2. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Geeta

    I will tell you my experience with my son(who is 5 yrs old now). When he was born(in India),we had a cradle for him and he used to sleep in the cradle for about 5-6 months.For each feed,we had to take the baby out of the cradle and that is unavoidable even if you are using a crib.After about three months,during the nights ,I used to make the baby sleep on my bed itself so that feeding him during the nights was easy for me.After about six months,he started sleeping regularly on the bed itself because,when he tossed and turned in the cradle,it looked liked he would fall out and so we felt it safer to put him on the bed.You may not have this problem with a crib though.Till about 3 yrs,he was in our bed only,Now ,he has his own bed in our room and he sleeps in that.

    So, if your bed is big enough,your baby can be in your bed itself for some time.It will help a lot with night time feeding atleast.It all depends on your convenience.
     
  3. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    dear geeta,
    the crib concept is western one.in india we generally let the baby sleep with ourself.
    for my son i also, bought a pram where i planned to make him sleep ,as frankly i was worried that i may hurt him while sleeping.but in north india at that time it was very cold(nov) .then nobody really approved of my plan (dh included) & to be frank i also could not bear to let him sleep away from me.till now he sleeps with me (3 yrs old)
    in west they even make the baby sleep in crib in other room.how they hear his cries during the night i cannot say.my hubby had a 3 mth project in london & i joined him with my 9 mths old son.there the social worker who used to visit us weekly would always suggest me to make my son sleep in different room .i used to have tough time trying to make her understand my point of view.
    in the end its ur decision.u do any way u feel comfortable.
    all the best
    pragati
     
  4. GayathriSundar

    GayathriSundar Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Geeta,
    We bought a crib for my son. He is 13 months now. He has been sleeping in the crib in our bedroom from day 4 of his life. Before that we put him in an infant bassinet - but the bassinet was low and it would hurt my back every time I picked him up. Using the crib for my son has worked out for us. I am always sure he is safe while he is sleeping at night or napping. There is no way he can accidentally fall from the bed nor can he deliberately climb down.

    We recently visited India for 3 weeks and there he would sleep between my husband and I. He surely enjoyed it. But nap times in the afternoon were difficult for me as I would keep a constant watch on him so he does not roll over the side (even though we kept pillows). But he rolled around so much and would keep kicking us at night!!
    After coming back to US, for 2 nights he made a fuss of sleeping in the crib but then started happily sleeping in it. He can roll around as much as he wants and I also get a peaceful sleep.

    I would definitely recommend a crib in your bedroom for the first 2 - 3 years of your life. After that his own room is his and your choice.

    Of course, there is the ease of feeding the baby in the bed when your body is also coping with the pains of delivery. But I have found that a baby poops and pees at every feeding so you will have to get up to change his diaper! Unless your husband volunteers.
    I was not very successful in lying down and feeding my son as our bed is a pillow-top bed. (This is a warning ladies - do NOT buy a pillow-top bed... sure it is soft and fluffy but it is difficult to nurse a lil one). So I would sit on the bed initially and later used a gliding chair to feed him.

    Oh I highly recommend getting a diaper changing table. I think this is even more needed than a crib. You will be changing diapers 15-20 times a day (i.e. almost once an hour) for the first couple of months and you do not want to bend that many times.
    I bought a changing table/dresser for $120.00 in Wal-Mart. Very useful...

    Gayathri
     
  5. geeta_sathish

    geeta_sathish Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Sunitha, Pragati and Gayathri,

    Thanks a ton for your suggestions.

    I have the problem of rolling too much in my sleep, so if I had the baby in our bed, I would never be able to sleep peacefully, I would be too scared of hurting the little one. Hence, had raised the question. In India, in my sisters' families, they had their babies sleep in the thooli and then when they got a little bigger for the thooli, they shared the family bed. But here, the concept of thooli is not possible. Hence the doubt.

    I also looked at various changing tables, but thought that it may be useless. Gayathri, thanks for the tip - I will now definitely look for deals on changing table as well. A dresser is anyways necessary, so why not select the model which comes with the changing table, so that our life is easier.

    Again, thanks for your time in clearing my doubts.

    Take care.
     
  6. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Geetha, I'll just tell you what we did. My boy was born in India and we didn't have a thottil or anything. So he slept with me in the bed. But I was so scared of hurting him whenever i rolled i hardly slept well. When I returned to Germany we bought a crib (that can be later converted to a junior bed) and he slept in that but in our bedroom. I must admit he slept more peacefully in his crib. Whenever he needed to be fed I'll just get up, sit in a chair that we had in the bedroom or stretch in the bed and feed him. Until he was a year old whenever he needed to sleep I'll feed him (both nap times and night) and put him in the crib, switch off the lights and he used to fall asleep by himself. Now when we went home again for his 1st b'day he started sleeping with me or his grandparents. When we returned he refused to sleep in his crib. We tried for 6 months and gave up. Now he sleeps with us in our bed:) He's often disturbed by my rolling and my husband's snoring but what to do.. i wouldn't put the baby in another room though:) as for changing diapers we got a simple table from IKEA and since we had a guest toilet we put it there. Most of my friends do it on the bed itself (lack of space in apt). If you're comfortable with bending and all you can just put a towel on the floor and do it (that's how i do it when we go home). Now in this apt we're short of space so for the second baby we plan not to have the changing table... i'll do it on the bed itself! Latha
     
  7. Aadhusmom

    Aadhusmom Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Geetha,
    My son too has been sleeping with us in the bed since the day we got home from the hospital. DH is a very restless sleeper and is afraid of hurting him at night so my baby sleeps at one end with 2 pillows next to him and I sleep next to the baby. So far he does not roll over in his sleep so no probs with rolling off the bed. I also have a crib in our room (bought 3 weeks back) and he takes his day-time naps in that. I will be putting him in the crib at night too once he stops early morning (5 am) feeds. What Latha said is very true - that you need to get up for diaper changes at night anyway in the first 2/3 mnths (until they sleep through the night). I found feeding in bed very difficult until my son was abt 3 mnths old and could roll to his side and latch on. I am hoping to put him in his own room after he is abt 3 yrs old.
    As for the diaper-changing, I have been changing him on the bed from the beginning and dont have any back probs because of that. It only takes abt 30 secs to change a diaper anyway (unless its one of those blow-out poopy ones when it takes forever!). Nowadays its easier to just change him wherever he is at that moment. I do have an ordinary little table though for all his changing supplies/toiletries etc.

    Vanathi.
     
  8. kmanasa

    kmanasa New IL'ite

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    We r planning to purchase a crib for the baby soon. Pl suggest any models u used and liked. I am preferring to buy a 3-in-one or a 4-in-one crib. There are so many models, it is becoming really difficult to select one.

    And about the changing station, has anyone used a baby contoured Changing Pad? I am planning to use it on our bedroom dresser because our bedroom would become too crowded with the changing station. And I want the area to look airy and spacious for the little one. Any suggestions?
     
  9. GayathriSundar

    GayathriSundar Senior IL'ite

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    Hi, We bought a Jenny Lind crib from BabiesRUs. Its cost is the plus point ($120.00). It is rather neat and converts to a toddler bed. I am using a baby contoured changing pad on my baby's changing table. I think it is a good idea to user your dresser for this purpose.
    Also ensure that you buy the changing pad cover. With my baby, the first month changing diapers was messy and we were washing the cover almost every day.

    Gayathri
     
  10. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    When my daughter was born, we bought a medium
    sized crib (costco brand) from walmart. I think it is around
    $70. I put a big changing sheet (from K mart) and
    changed the diapers in the crib itself. My back was
    hurting, but what to do? Investing in changing tables
    may be only for a short period, the baby will grow
    faster.My baby was sleeping in the crib itself day
    and also night. We installed a musical mobile in the
    crib. Whenever she wakes up (not for hunger) I used
    to switch on the mobile. The music will go for about 10
    minutes. Within that time she fall asleep. I kept the crib
    at the side of my bed. She was sleeping in that crib
    upto 16 months She outgrown the crib. Now she is sleeping
    in our bed with our touch. She is rolling all the night and
    kicking too. Now I didn`t get a peaceful sleep. We are
    thinking of an alternative.
     

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