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Creative Hobbies - Bane or Boon in marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ShilpaMa, May 25, 2010.

  1. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Lets share our opinion on the following.. if it was of any help in your marriage... or irrelevant.

    I had a lot of creative hobbies that kept me busy in the first year of marriage which was quite non happening and I diverted my energies to creativity in order to keep my sanity & weigh achievements at the end of day.
    Even today when am over-stressed some paint brush, fabric creativity or window shopping releases off a lot of energy from me.

    In school we see kids being put to so many extra-carriculars or creative hobbies for an overall development.. however when one comes to colleage and marriage they become one track single processors and over focussed to one area of life to expect too many returns.

    I see quite a few people around me for who are set to thinking when asked "Whats your hobby" and their answer typically fits into EAT, SLEEP, CHAT, HOUSEHOLD chore => unpaid servant, CALL parents, KITTY parties and nothing to do.. very bored.. over busy husband to take for outing anywhere...

    How many of you think its a Boon in order to keep a partner busy when they're not able to get 100% returns in marriage or a Bane that you dint divert your energy to set things right from the begining.. if at all possible in 1 marriage? Also are you dependent on your spouse for hobby?
     
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  2. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Shilpa,

    I find a part of my identity in my hobbies. I am sometimes afraid that my hobbies and duties would switch places if I do not stay alert!!

    I would say it is a boon to me because it takes my mind off of the monotony of life. Sometimes an outlet to my worries or pent up emotions. I stay positive. I feel accomplished and content. It helps widen my friends circle. It keeps me from nagging my DH. Hobbies thus help me a lot.

    No, I am not dependant on my DH for my hobbies, not even for a word of appreciation or acknowledgement. The only critic and fan, I look forward to hear from the most, is True herself. But he encourages me to pursue my hobbies though he is not into the same taste as mine. The fact that he is not a fine arts lover or a connoisseur does not bother me because I am carried away by the fact that my DH knows to respect my interest.

    On a lighter note: I am a drawer (artist), painter (oil painting), cooker (run a kitchen blog), writer.:rotfl
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    and plays the piano, dances/choereographs.

    Is there anything you dont do? :)
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  4. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    wow, really impressed reading True's hobbies! I think MsTrue picked the wrong username, should have been MsSuperwoman! :bowdown
     
  5. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Thanks, ASG & SP! Very sweet of you, both! :bowdown

    Now, can someone please hold that ladder :spin
    I got to climb down from Cloud Nine. :drowning

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  6. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    I think having hobbies in order to keep yourself engaged is a good thing. Now it becomes a bane if the one partner is not sensitive of others needs and uses all their free time in hobbies and ignores them.

    I know many Indian guys who play cricket during summer and totally ignore their families. Its summer time and children are off too so the wife is left looking after them.Doing it moderately is ok for both the spouses.

    My hobby Music. It can be listening or singing or going to concerts. If it is Indian classical music..I am there.

    FL
     
  7. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks ppl for your feedback..

    True I could relate to that...

    FL, yes I see a Bane here when people loose their focus and get too busy.
    My case.. my DH's also v creative and we just cocooned ourselves into our hobbies when felt out of place or out of comfort zone. He's into photography, cartooning, gardening etc.. now whenever I felt that there should be sometime for marriage as well and dint get it.. realised that I was sulking as I had more time & diverted all my energies into my creative areas.

    Case was such that MIL once commented that these two are too contended with their hobbies that they never fight or think of making babies :crazy........
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  8. Shilpa Pratheep

    Shilpa Pratheep Bronze IL'ite

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    I liked this part :rotfl...

    For me hobby is a "me time", spouse appreciating will be nice but if not, shouldn't matter coz you are doing it to satisfy yourself.
    I have been lucky to have a husband who encourages and appreciates me on this, I feel really happy about it. I dint get this appreciation from my parents/ siblings which dint make me feel bad.

    Boon or bane depends on perspective..

    I see it as boon coz I can rediscover my self, at the end of the day when finish any craft i feel so worthy and satisfied(I do jewelery making, stitching, paper work, fish wire works, clay painting, plastic canvas works, still interested to learn crotchet ). When I wear the jewelery I make I feel happy about it, If some one asks abt it I feel elated.

    Its unfortunate for my MIL's sister who is so much interested in craft work and whose husband thinks its waste of time and money to do any craft work.but for her husbands appricaions means a lot who is almost stopped doing this coz husband doesn't like which is a bane to her.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  9. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Good point, FL.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2010
  10. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    MStrue. I just got scared looking at the ladder, and how will one climb down, probably you are stuck there on cloud 9 now :thumbsup
     

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