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Covid19- Changes In Husband-wife Relationship

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by smrithys, Apr 6, 2020.

  1. smrithys

    smrithys Silver IL'ite

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    Hello everyone,

    While there are many existing threads related to Covid 19, the aim of this thread is to discuss how the Stay at Home order is affecting Husband-Wife relationship. i.e. Has it brought you closer to each other or there are more fights? In my opinion,

    #1 Couple without kids- Great. They can do their work as well as spend more couple time

    #2 Couple with one Stay at Home parent- Very good. The SAH parent appreciates having the other spouse around at all times

    #3 Working couple with young kids- More fights? Both parents want to attend their respective meetings during office time and there are fights regarding who will engage the kids. Also there may be fights in sharing household chores and responsibilities now that both are working from home.

    #4 Couple with grown up kids

    Please pour your thoughts! Any ideas to tackle situation #3 is welcome
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2020
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  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    So true. #3 is Our situation:
    - DH helps in everything, but needs to be told every single time. Like how many times do I tell him to do dishes or load dishwasher when we have a full sink?
    - Almost like he wants me to get started on everything, and he will join me. i am irritated until he joins me
    - This ties back into first point - dirty home areas he ignores, but does clean up only after he is told. he does a good job on it when he does it. But I didn't tell him, he will ignore it for a year.
    - blaming game is stronger than ever. And i hold a grudge when it happens


    We don't have fights, but we are less intimate now. I feel he doesn't appreciate me for the work I do, may be I have more time to think now.
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:I think it would be great idea to have one more category #5. of old couple
    only.
    2. Don’t you OP think there could be scope for quarrel or altercation between ripe ( old) couple because of constant presence of the other IN COVID TIMES. 3. For example - in pre COVID times - The man or and the lady going out to their club / stroll/shopping.....relationship quarrel during COVID is not prerogative only to the categories stated by you.
    4. Irrespective of the category most of the homes have peace time & war time.
    Absence of domestic help, scarcity of essentials, burden of sharing swallowing time and hamper His Or Her other activities such as exercise for weight gain or reduction, other hobbies, reading news paper, watching desired channels et al. One more of these factors would cause friction between old couple to unless they have maturity of high order & they are reasonably in good health.
    I have seen old hags /drunkards quarrel with spouse when he is compelled to stay home. Only neighbours manage them.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Anusha2917, smrithys and shravs3 like this.
  4. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I could have written this exact same thing ! Story of my life right now.


     
  5. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Exactly my situation. I get especially irritated when everyone will look at me right about 12 noon, as if I am supposed to conjure lunch out of thin air, like I have elves working in a secret kitchen like Harry Potter. Both H and I would have been in meetings/working.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 13, 2020
  6. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    MY DH has realised it’s so stressful to work from home and do other chores. So automatically without even me requesting he cooks dinner most of the days which I’m very thankful for him :worship2:

    But it took a while for us to get adjusted for this setup. Sometimes we do argue for funny and simple things!
     
  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Same here. And I don't get it. Why the heck do I have to tell each person each time what they are supposed to do? And tell it politely like an air-hostess asking passenger to put away cell phone? If it was just reminding, I might not mind. But have to do it nicely and not an iota of wrong tone in the voice. I should not get stressed. I should be pleasant and calm 24x7. How to be calm when I have to monitor each person's hygiene of washing hands. If you go out to check mail, you touch the mail box that the mailman touched who touched 100 other mailboxes. So, wash hands when you come in?????? Why look at me like I spoke in Latin when I say 'wash hands'. Really.. why look at the mail and your own hands and the door knob with such puzzlement like seeing those things for the first time?

    I tried leaving the dishwasher drama to natural consequences. Result: cockroaches in sink and from there to clean dishes cabinet.

    "What is lunch?" I hate that question from the bottom of my heart now. I am past reminding myself that there are millions of day workers around the world with no food and no job.
     
  8. smrithys

    smrithys Silver IL'ite

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    Well said.. The blaming game goes on and on. Even if hubby doesn't contribute to house work, I expect at least the recognition for what I do.
     
    Thyagarajan and Angela123 like this.
  9. smrithys

    smrithys Silver IL'ite

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    Yes.. While I make the side dishes for lunch in the morning itself, I ask hubby to keep the soaked rice in the cooker at lunch time, he can't do that simple thing without multiple remainders.
     
  10. smrithys

    smrithys Silver IL'ite

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    Thats very sweet of him! Enjoy
     
    Angela123, Thyagarajan and shravs3 like this.

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