Yesterday we celebrated my lil one's 2nd birthday. So here was the plan. We organized a party for apartment friends and our parents and immediate siblings only. (No cousins included). Our apartment is huge and we have about 2500+ families. To narrow down a small list of 120 is really hard. When we started planning we came up with a guest list of 200+ , including cousins and colleagues. This meant us hiring two party halls in the clubhouse of our Apartment. We had already booked the bigger hall(about 3months back)which can accommodate 120 guests. We did have an option to take smaller hall also, club both and make it bigger to accommodate 80 more guests. Total around 200.Even though we booked hall 3m back , our guest planning started a month back only and we realised we cannot accommodate 200 guests. We omitted cousins and colleagues and went with 120 apartment friends as we tried to book the smaller hall but it wasn't available as some other owner had booked it. For my daughter's first birthday last year, still covid restrictions being around we couldn't plan anything big n we had a cousins only party at house. It was difficult to accommodate 50 guests at home but we did it. A grand cake cut, kids games followed by dinner for the guests. Few cousins didn't come last year. I mean I understand there'll be drop outs and we can't expect 100% attendance. One cousin in particular (I'll name her X now), I was upset she didn't come because she stays close plus this cousin was so upset that I didn't invite her for my baby shower which happened in August 2020 . Peak covid plus all restrictions all over the place. As per govt rules we could have 15 guests at home at a time for the baby shower. Those 15 included my parents, my hubby parents, mine and husband siblings and one other aunt and her daughter(cousin named Y) . Done with 15 guests now. I had a special reason for inviting this Y for my baby shower . My own infertility struggle I shared many times here. Before I conceived few aunties in the family were behind my life that I'm married for so long and don't have a kid. One aunty invited me for a baby shower of a very far relative (pre covid times, this aunty was my SIL's MIL. It was her grand daughter's baby shower) At the function she put a lot of bangles to me, made me sit on the stage along with the mommy to be and did some pooja and announced on stage that before her grand daughter celebrates her baby's first birthday (Ayush homam) Anusha will have her semandham(baby shower). Yes she announced this on stage. This was super embarrassing but I took it with a pinch of salt. Kept smiling through out and didn't believe such things will work. All I had to do was wear those bangles for as long as I can. But surprisingly this worked. Within 3 months of that function I conceived (off course with treatment) and as that aunty announced before they celebrated great grand daughter's ayush homam I had my Seemandham. Her words came true Now cousin Y has her own battle with having a baby. Some issues she isn't able to conceive . So I told my mom I'm gonna invite Y n her mom for my baby shower n put her the bangles. So Y was in that list of 15 n everything same was as done for me -putting bangles,prayers etc . Off course no announcement like that aunty did to me. I prayed that Y should get her Seemandham before Ayush homam of my baby. X was very upset I didn't invite her for baby shower. Took sometime for me to get back to normalcy with X. The drama of her leaving the cousins group, blaming me for inviting only Y etc etc happened. I did explain later on why only Y was invited . Anyways it was past. It didn't affect me much. Now within few months of my baby shower Y conceived with twins. I thought wow bangles thing was working yet again. But she miscarried early on in her pregnancy .Before my lil ones Ayush homam her Seemandham did not happen. Last year for my lil one's birthday party all(cousins and aunts uncles) were invited. Y came n X didn't. This time I was a bit upset with X because staying close by she did not come plus she created drama for not inviting her for my baby shower. But her reason was covid times she couldn't risk it with her lil children. We moved on. Coming to this year neither X not Y were invited as we decided apartment friends only party. Now unfortunately Y is going through a tough time in her life. After twins miscarriage she conceived again and delivered a very pre mature baby @ 24 weeks. After 15 days in NICU she lost her baby. Its not been even a month since this happened. I have tried to reach Y a couple of times but she wasn't ready to talk to me over phone. I have been with her throughout her struggles, trying to help as much as I can. Off course I have my self struggled a lot with infertility and miscarriage. But after the loss of her baby I didn't know how I could help her. I did not reach out to her on message but tried to reach through my aunt on phone call. She wasn't ready to talk. Apparently none of the cousins reached out to her to console her. Now coming to 2nd birthday party yesterday X called to wish my daughter and self invited herself to my house saying since she didn't come last year this year she's dropping by (she's stays really close) in the evening. Off course at this point I cannot lie saying I'm not at home or what ever. I said yes visit me, we have a party and join us. Rest is history, she came took a lot of pics , shared in the cousins group and the bomb exploded. Y burst out blaming me that I didn't invite her because I thought it was "bad luck " to have her in my guest list. A series of messages was bombarded tagging me, blaming all of us how none of the cousins reached out to her in her grieving period, how she would have felt a nice change if she had attended my lil one's party (been exactly 16 days since her loss). Before I could respond she n her mother (my aunt) quit the group. I reached out to her personally with apologies which she didn't accept. She wasn't ready to believe my non invitation to cousins this time and X happened to come for the party. She's offcourse upset but then what do I do next? 1) Send her more messages.? 2) Call her and talk to her? 3) Visit her in person? 4) leave it as is? I'm really tired of this drama in the family whatsApp group. My situation hasn't been very favorable to invite all the guests at all the time. I wish they understood me.