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Countdown...between Life And Death

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by GeetaKashyap, Mar 1, 2018.

  1. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    I checked my watch and counted loudly in reverse, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, si…" Gowri came rushing from inside the house and sat indignantly in the car. She had her necklace and bangles still in her hand. She was breathing heavy. Giving me a sharp look, she complained in irritation, “You won’t grow up, will you? I had to give last minute instructions to Raju and Lata about the work to be done and the safety of the house in our absence. Since you started your countdown I had to hurry. Look, I have not even worn my jewels yet. The next time you count, I won’t rush. I am not growing any younger to keep running as per your whims and fancies.”

    She was grumpy and flushed. I put my finger to her lips and said lovingly, “Shhhh…we shall always remain young and never grow up. Darling, don’t frown if you want to avoid wrinkles!” I chuckled and continued, “Dear, tell me if I don’t insist on time won’t all our programs go haywire?”

    Gowri’s frown easily changed into a smile. Turning towards me she said, “Kichu…I can’t win over your charms. You know the exact recipe to melt my anger. What a charmer, you are! Much as I try to resist, I can’t stop running to meet the targets, before your countdown reaches the number one. I get a stupid sense of defeating you and I am addicted to it. In fact, I love the way you look at the watch and count numbers from ten to one.” She said, imitating me. We laughed at our own little game. I loved the way Gowri had reduced my name Krishnegowda to Kichu. Now that our moods had turned pleasant, clearing my voice, I turned to my driver and said, “Pinto, it is five. Let us start.”

    We were travelling to Chennai to attend my prospective business partner Velu Mudaliar’s daughter’s wedding. He was the owner of a famous recording studio in Chennai. I wanted to start a state-of-art recording studio in Bangalore, in partnership with him. I was a fifty-six years old successful businessman. I already owned two cinema theatres in Bangalore. God had been kind to me in giving good health, wealth and a loving family. With a sense of satisfaction, I looked out of the window and noticed that the sky had begun to turn yellowish orange indicating day-break. Birds, morning walkers, and milk vendors had started their activities. I thought no other place in the country can match up to Bengaluru in beauty and the old-world charm. Pinto played my favourite old Kannada film songs from the CD player. He knew my moods well. He had been working for us for the last twenty years. He was an excellent driver and when it came to long-distance travelling we could rely on him totally, without a worry. I started tapping on my knee as the old romantic duets by P.B Srinivas and S.Janaki created a nice ambience. Those songs had wonderful melody, simplicity and the lyrics too were so innocent and straight from the heart! I looked at Gowri. She had worn her jewels by now and was searching for something in her purse. I put my hand on her knee and said, “Weather is lovely here. But we must reach Chennai before the heat reaches its peak. Tell me when you are hungry, we shall stop for breakfast.” She smiled and nodded.

    We have been married for thirty years. By God’s grace, Gowri and I understand each other very well. She has retained her simplicity and innocence even after so many years of our marriage. Our riches and social position have hardly made any difference to her. She still loves to be a simple and devoted housewife. I too have ensured to keep our love alive in our marriage. I consider this as my biggest success.

    Gowri and I drifted into our own worlds gradually, as the thoughts weaved their web. As we travelled along the highway, we stopped at a resort near Krishnagiri, for breakfast. Though it was just around eight in the morning, the heat was quite intense. Soon after we resumed the journey, Gowri dozed off and I was on the phone discussing work with my staff. Maybe around nine thirty, I too fell asleep. All that I remember is that there was a sudden loud noise and a violent jerk followed by stillness. When I recovered I saw my limp body covered with blood. Strangers were trying to pull me out of our mangled BMW. I was in a state of shock.



    ***


    Much as I tried I was unable to move my body. My body lay motionless on a hospital bed. I was bound…to my body. My mind was foggy. I could hear voices but could answer none. I tried to move again and again. It was futile. I did not know how long I was there. Days and nights were alike for me. There were all types of machines and tubes connected to my body. I had almost died in that nasty accident but the medical team had bound me to the useless body of mine. They were trying to get my body and soul in sync. As I could see, my body had been very badly broken…but not my spirit. I was confused. I wanted to leave my battered body and go away but could not. Something held me on.

    Now I was alone in the ICU, but what happened to Gowri and Pinto? I wondered which place and which hospital I was in? I was helpless…I couldn’t ask anyone anything and I was getting restless. I felt like a balloon kept forcibly to the ground with a cord. I wanted to leave my body or repair it. I was incapable of both. I was no longer in control of my situation. For an active person like me, my current physical condition was frustrating. All I could do was just to think and wonder. Both activities are useless if they are not followed up with relevant action! I wondered whether our son Arjun had been informed. He was in the USA doing his Masters in Business Administration. My new business venture was meant exclusively for him. Because of his immaturity, I had kept him away from my business dealings all these years. I feared, now our business associates would cheat him if I was not around. I couldn’t let that happen. Arjun was still young and needed my guidance. I had to survive! I hoped, upon arrival Arjun would take me to a super speciality hospital with better doctors; he could even take me to America as money had never been an issue for us. He would take the right decisions and ease my miseries. Pinning all my hopes on him, I waited for Arjun to arrive…

    Ah… there a nurse came with a writing pad. She was young and pretty. She was checking my vital readings. “Can you read my mind?” I questioned her. She did not hear me. She was mechanically noting down some observations. If possible, I could have chatted with her and enquired about Gowri. Even as my thoughts were streaming, suddenly that pretty nurse turned away and left. She sat on the other side of the partition which separated my bed and the nurses’ station. I was disappointed. I would have felt better if she sat near my bed, spoke to me and soothed away all my worries. Oh… loneliness was getting unbearable. How long was I to lie silently?

    Suddenly, I remembered that my watch and the mobile phone which were integral parts of me were missing! I worried about my mobile phone, as all my contacts and several pieces of important information were stored in it. Arjun should get hold of my mobile at the earliest. He also needs to get hold of the business empire I have built for him. He needs to grow up overnight!

    I was very lonely; anguish and anxiety were the only two loyal companions I had now.


    ***


    At last Arjun came! What a relief!

    But he was sobbing uncontrollably. Why was he sobbing and saying "Mom" …repeatedly? Did that mean Gowri is d e a d? How did she die, instantly or did she also suffer like me? I hoped that she had a peaceful death. I ardently prayed for her deliverance. She had shared significant years of her life with me. Images from our life together crossed my mind.

    I slowly drifted back from that sorrow and Gowri’s memories and noticed that Arjun had come with my ‘baldy’ brother-in-law. “Arjun don’t trust him!” I shouted but he did not hear me. I cried in frustration, "God! Take away all my wealth and in exchange please give me either life or death. Don’t keep me hanging between the two stages. Please relieve me of this misery."

    A little while later, there was a lot of commotion as the senior doctor arrived with two junior doctors and an old nurse. I hoped, at least now, he had some good news and some magical cure for me! But he looked morose. My hopes began to shrivel. Putting his hand on Arjun’s shoulder, the senior doctor spoke to my son about my coma and the irreversible brain damage. He also advised removal of the vital supports! Arjun sobbed all the more. He was unable to speak. My brother-in-law spoke to the senior doctor about the aptness of removal of the vital supports on Ekadashi, which was three days away, on a Sunday!

    How ridiculous! He wanted me dead on a holiday so that his work-day was not affected! The doctor’s mandate clearly meant that ‘unofficially’ I was dead! It took me some time to accept the truth that I was dead for the world! I pacified myself, defiantly, “Well… my body’s brain is dead, not my soul’s!”. No wonder…I was not feeling anything. I had to now wait for my ‘official’ death! NO… in this condition I didn’t want to live even for a second more. I hated the idea of an astrologer or a nosy relative deciding on the time of my death. “When did they become God to decide the end of my stay on earth?” I screamed in frustration.

    I asked the Almighty, “God! Don’t they know only you have the power to decide the precise time of our births and deaths? Why are you allowing them to decide anything about me? Please, release me from these earthly ties at the earliest.”


    ***


    I had no idea for how long I lay there…I did not want my life artificially extended so that I would die on a socially convenient day. My indomitable spirit was rebelling against the social diktats. I was rather in a hurry to move away from my deteriorated body. I no longer associated myself with that mutilated body of mine. I reviewed my life, a life of daily struggles and triumphs. A sense of satisfaction about a life well lived made me happy. Even as I oscillated between the likes-dislikes, wishes-disappointments, possessions and renunciation, I suddenly started feeling very calm and peaceful. A sense of acceptance and a universal belongingness came upon me. My confusions and tribulations seemed to vanish. I could slowly detach myself from all the worldly things. Even as I enjoyed this state of nothingness, I could see a bright white light, a light that was so magical, alluring and all-pervading. It seemed to draw me into it. What an exhilarating moment that was! I waited transfixed. A magic was about to reveal itself! I saw the silhouette of a person emerge from that light. I observed him carefully as he walked into the I.C.U. He seemed an embodiment of kindness and love. I knew he had come to take me. He and he alone could help me. He was my redeemer. I was now totally prepared for my onward journey. I knew my time on earth had run out. Unable to give up my old habit, as always, I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven...” and as I finished counting the last three magical numbers three, two and one, my redeemer gently detached the imaginary cord that held my soul to the deteriorated body.


    I was now floating….floating…in a peaceful white light. He was there to guide, protect and lead me…I was free at last. That was bliss!


    [​IMG]



    *******************************END*********************************

    (Image is taken from the internet)
     
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  2. Rajeni

    Rajeni Moderator Platinum IL'ite

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    Very good one @GeetaKashyap Death is the one thing that scares even the strongest! Reading the way you have described the last journey of the protagonist one could only wish to attain the spiritual maturity to see the serene liberation that comes with death!
    And, loved the last count down!
     
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  3. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    As always am impressed with your thought provoking write up geets....
    I wish we had an option to leave when we wanted to, rather than going through the rigmarole of everyday life and wondering what is the purpose of our existence....

    Read your posts several time geets and everytime i could understand it with a different dimension....

    I wish one day, death and the thoughts surrounding death makes more meaning, rather than leaving us with one question, “why so early, why me”...

    I wish, when death comes knocking at my door, i must just go without any hesitation or reason....
     
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  4. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Rajeni

    Welcome to my space, dear. Thanks a million for the first comment and a comment that is so beautiful in itself.
     
    nandinimithun likes this.
  5. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Nandu @nandinimithun

    The celebrity writer of February 2018, thanks for your comment. This story is one of my favourites:)
     
    Thyagarajan and nandinimithun like this.
  6. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    It’s more of a story, its heart touching geets....
     
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  7. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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  8. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Well written Geeta! You captured the helplessness of being in a coma and the subsequent relief of transcending into heaven well . The bald BIL added that small touch of humor too !
     
  9. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    ;) Thanks, sandy@Sandycandy.
     
  10. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    Well done Geeta....that sense of satisfaction should be there in us all the time as no one knows when we will reach our end.
     

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