Counselling For The Divorce Prone!

Counselling for the divorse prone!

Every year around the month of March, our club celebrates the Special Services Week. We undertake projects with the singular aim of improving the quality of life of the people. Last year, we had a special Students’ Week to coach students who would be facing their final exam during the following month. Each of the committee members was given a particular subject with instructions to keep themselves fully prepared. One of the committee members was very keen that he should be given History as he claimed that he had some special skill in teaching History that his teacher had taught him. When we asked him to demonstrate his skill to us, he gladly accepted. This Mogul Emperor, for example, died in 1666 as it was so easy to remember. ‘The dying emperor is lying on an ornamental cot with three legs shaped like a 6. The fourth one is broken and replaced with a straight wooden log shaped like a 1. Do you get the year? It is 1666. As you know it cannot be 6661 or any other combination as no one dies post-dated!’ When we asked him which Emperor it was who died in 1116, he blinked and said that his teacher only taught him how to remember the date and not the event! We hurriedly verified with Google and found that it was Shah Jahan! As there were no other takers for History, we reluctantly gave it to him to handle!


Needless to say that the week was a fiasco! The Maths teacher was stuck with an algebraic problem which he could not solve the whole of that week despite the help that the students themselves offered him. The English teacher got stuck when he was asked to give example of ‘gerund’. When the week ended, we all heaved a sigh of relief.


This year we decided to set up a counselling team for divorce aspirants. We gave an ad in a local newspaper that free counselling would be offered to people who aspired for divorce. We included two lawyer members in the team and they gave us a lecture on how to counsel divorce aspirants. The following case study was given and discussed threadbare.

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded. “I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?" "I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents." He said, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do." Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?" “Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"


On the first day around noon, a gentleman came with his lunch box. He probably thought that there would be a big rush and he could finish his lunch while waiting! We told him that he could have his lunch before meeting us and shot back that lunch was his major issue that called for an immediate divorce. ‘I have been married for twenty years and I get the same damned menu for the last twenty years from my wife on health grounds. All weeds, boiled vegetables and salads! I can’t get rid of this food. Help me to get rid of her!’ he told us. He opened his lunch box and showed us his menu for the day and our stomach turned. We offered him lunch in the club and directed him to a competent counsellor.


A couple of hours later, another man came in who looked like having dressed for a fancy dress competition. “Precisely!’ he shouted and told us that he had been married for twelve years and during this period, it was his mother-in-law who chose his dress. She had a special flair for colours and hated men who dressed in black and white like a steward in a Five Star hotel! His wife was quite sympathetic but could do nothing against her mum’s wish. This man wanted to divorce his wife since he could not divorce his mother-in-law! We packed him too to the counsellor and decided to close our project straightaway as the marital problems seemed insurmountable!

 

@PushpavalliSrinivasan

Dear PS
Thank you for your opening response. We call it 'Bhoni' in Tamil! I am glad that you enjoy my lighter Ramblings. I have plenty of subjects to ramble about! I always try to look at the lighter of life. Life is as it is tough. Why make it more difficult with our sob stories?
Sri

 

@Iravati

A great response! But I received it with mixed feelings. Who can forget Richard Burton as Henry VIII and Genevieve Bujold as Anne Boleyn in the movie 'Anne of the Thousand Days'? An intense drama that tugged at our heart. And strangely while it made us sad with the beheading of Anne, we still could not condemn Henry. On the contrary, we pitied him and his idiosyncrasies. If we had been his counsel, we would have given him better and more humane ideas to tackle Anne. A mother sacrificing her life so that her daughter could become the Queen! Sorry I got carried away!

Now John Milton! I shuddered hearing his name. His Paradise Lost was a terror for the easy going students like me. I remember a classmate of mine asking our English Professor why Milton should make everyone suffer if he had lost something!

I should tell you that the decision of the club to give up this project was not an easy one to take. The lawyer guys were particularly unhappy that their pet project was about to be shelved but other members pointed out that their hearts were already heavy and any further load would require them to be hospitalized!
Sri

 

@Viswamitra

A FB from you is like winning the Finest Post Award! I have always had a lot of admiration for Shobha's discerning taste. Her choice of you as her life partner is a solid example.
The trouble with my club is that they choose annual projects without thinking if we have the wherewithal to handle them effectively. They usually plunge into projects which invariably leave them bruised! In the food case, the wife of the complainant came to our club and delivered a lecture on how to live for hundred years through consumption of natural food. 'Cooking is adding poison to the food', she warned us. I remembered Tamizhvanan, founder-editor of the Tamil weekly Kalkandu. He wrote several books on healthy living topping it with 'How to live for a hundred years?' through eating proper food and exercise. He died at 50!
Sri

 

@shyamala1234

My dear Syamala
As I was reading your feedback I thought you were being very critical of my post until I read your concluding sentence and felt relieved and happy! Talking of Saptapathi and other aspects of our wedding ceremony, I would only say that nobody pays any attention to them! If they do, they may be very reluctant to go ahead with the ceremony! This is what Sapthapathi is all about:
"Now let us make a vow together. We shall share love, share the same food, share our strengths, share the same tastes. We shall be of one mind, we shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Samaveda, you the Rigveda, I shall be the Upper World, you the Earth; I shall be the Sukhilam, you the Holder - together we shall live and beget children, and other riches; come thou, O sweet-worded girl!" (Courtesy: Google)

Forget other things. I have seen couples having heated arguments on what to order for food in a hotel. I have never seen the husband and wife ordering for the same items of food. Marriage is nothing but 'unity in diversity'!
Sri