Corporate Lingo..Cool

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by daffodil, Feb 21, 2008.

  1. daffodil

    daffodil Bronze IL'ite

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    COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

    MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control.

    CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

    APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

    NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    REQUIRES PROJECT LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

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