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Copycat SIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Preet82, Apr 3, 2011.

  1. Preet82

    Preet82 Silver IL'ite

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    I and my SIL have been friends for long before we became related.She is generally very nice,honest and sensible,Ever since she got married 2 years ago.She has been trying to emulate us as a couple and does everything we do.Its not a big problem but kinda gets on my nerves at times.She pushes her hubby to dress up like mine(her brother).Clicks pictures in the same places and poses we did.Wants the same lipstick i use.She wants to buy the exact same electronic gadgets we have
    .All taken..she had a beautiful baby girl 15 months after i had mine and she went on to name the little one - a name that is very similar and rhyms with my baby's name:bonk.OMG! that really irritated me.I know life long she would want to do what i do for my DD for hers,like the way i dress her,where i take her,play school etc etc etc.I wish the best for my niece..i hope she develops her own personality,not in the shadow of her cousin sister.How should i make my SIL understand.Should i even try or just mind my own business??
     
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  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,

    Please remember "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Just ignore. Only if you find your niece starting to develop a complex or if she is not being allowed to develop a personality, then try to get the message across very diplomatically. For now just leave it alone.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2011
  3. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Preet.
    I was going to say the same thing that Satchi has said!
    Good luck if you ever get the message across to her!


     
  4. FirSrk

    FirSrk Senior IL'ite

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    "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Well said. My DH always tell me the same thing. I have a similar problem. But my SIL is not the problem. MY MIL is. My SIL and her daughter stay in India. My MIL wants us to buy all that we buy for our daughter. The 2 girls are the same age. Their names are also similar with only a letter difference.(Mine is older) Clothes, toys, books, accessories blah blah. I had got my daughter a MORA pink flowers blanket for her 4th BdAY. My MIL went 2 days later and bought the exact same one for my niece. It used to irritate me earlier and I used to tell my DH that I get irritated. But he always calmed me down and explained that my choice is very good. Thats why my MIL copies. She tries to do it with clothes I wear too.:)
    After 7 years of marriage I have learnt to take these silly things in my stride. Dont get irritated. Especially in front of them. Learn to ignore and move on. I buy what I like for my daughter and the smile she gives me when she receives anything for me is priceless. I do alot of baking. Cakes, cupcakes, cookies, pies etc. My DD loves them. No one in the family can beat me in that. And nobody can copy. So you see all is not that bad.:)
    Enjoy their childhood. Dont fret over these things.

    Sorry for the long post.
     
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with Satchi! Your sil just really admires your taste in things! Instead of looking at it in a negative way, be happy that your sil feels so positive about your choices!

    I'll give you an example.... my mil first came to visit us and showed me her diamond mangalsutra on a long chain. I was really impressed and wanted one that was traditional design of my dh's family. Since mangalsutra was not given to me at time of marriage, my dh bought me a small diamond one on a short black beads chain. I sent the picture to my mil. A week later, I see a photo of her... she has shortened her mangalsutra chain to look like mine and gotten a small diamond pendant. :) Ok, time passes and I decide I want long style and my dh felt i should have bigger diamond pendant, so I have some black beads added to the chain and get it made longer and also replace the small pendant with bigger one. Again I tell my mil. And AGAIN I see a picture of her a few weeks later, with LONG mangalsutra chain and big pendant! :rotfl

    I wasn't mad. I just felt really happy that maybe I was a trend setter and my mil liked my ideas. Satchi is right 100%, immitation is the sincerist form of flattery. Think about it.... it is easy for someone to TELL YOU they like your syle, but maybe in their mind they think your style is crap. But if they are willing to wear it and do it themselves, that must mean they truely admire you!!
     
  6. samraa

    samraa Bronze IL'ite

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    hello.

    i agree with what satchi and jag have said. jag-hmmmmm,gooooood,mil beginning to like your taste.
     
  7. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Lol, well I'm ASG, but thanks for the support. Yes, my mil is starting to like my taste. I have this flowered sundress and I wore it in a picture with my hubby, and my mil was commenting on how nice the dress looks on me and how all her relatives were telling her how stylish I look. So I was thinking :yes: !
     
  8. samraa

    samraa Bronze IL'ite

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    oh good,

    and jag's, did she buy the dress too???????? from now on,buy two of everything you buy-just making things easy for your mil [joking-don't take it seriously.]
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2011
  9. Preet82

    Preet82 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Satchi

    Your quote put my silly troubled mind to rest.It really changes the way i look at things.Thank you.
     
  10. Preet82

    Preet82 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Firsrk,
    Thank you for sharing your experiences.We seem to be in the same boat.I was but truly very irritated when my SIL named her DD very similar to mine( just a letter more)Everybody is asking us whether we wanted it that way..rhyming names..:bonk
    She even wanted to quit her job after the baby and take a break just like i did.But since she had a good job and good maternal leave benefits,everybody,including me advised her not to quit this job.Anyway i will stop her about her and as you said just concentrate on my pumpkin daughter and yes! Cooking is also my passion...:cheers and yea she can't copy that.Thank you so much for the advise.
     

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