convincing husband

hi
mine is an inetr-religion marriage.i belong to a Hindu family and my husband is a Sikh.now the problem is when i got married at that time my in-laws were very flexible regarding religion and all.but as some time started passing by my mother-in-law started saying that since you are apart of our family you should only follow sikh religion and the custom and traditions related to it and not hiduism.
i from the very first day followed sikh religious scriptures and went to gurudwara as well so that there and my husbands religious sentiments shouldnot get hurt.
but when it came to my sentiments no one payed heed to it.i was so passionate about keeping "karva Chauth" and had told my MIL also but when the time came she didnot allow me to keep it saying thats hindu tradition.and in front of other relatives she cleverly said that we had given her option but she didnot keep.
thereafter i decided just to please her i cannot hurt myself throughout my life.so this time without asking her i have fasted for "navratri" because i belive i am just taking God's name and in what ever form i take its upto me and by not telling her i am not hurting her as well.
but i had a word with my husband who still says you ahould inform her about it.but i dont find a valid point in the same,because when i onformed her on earlier ocassions as well she just sais "acha" and that toooooooo very rudely.this ways my sentiments get hurt,but i am notable to convince my husband for th same because he is mama's boy.............help me

 

hi superwomen
i agree with you.i am readily following there customs as well but the problem is that since i am new to their relegion so i dont know many things but my MIL would never tell me any thing but keeps observing me as an outsider just to find faults with the customs wheer possible,even if i ask she just says "Aap dekho kaise karna hai".
this all irritates me plus i have no objection to their customs but i cannot give up my desies as well.she doesnot say things in front of me but slyly behind my back has complained to my father that she doesnott follow our religion and customs and all.which is wrong.at my home in the pooja room i have both hindu and sikh god's idols but she always indirectly keeps pointing out things.
you are right she is not saying donot do it but she is not saying a yes as wel for the same.........

 

hi super woman
i have tried asking her many times politely "mummu pls tell me how to do this thing and all" but she keeps repeating only one thing "tusi vekho" i.e you see to it how this is to be done.howsoever i request her.
even lat time i went to there place and was making halwa and just to make her feel that i am respecting her being elder of the family,i asked "mom can i add these things" again she kept repeating you see to it how to do it gain and again and then my father-in-law interviened and said to my MIL that why are you standing there let her do it we will see what she does and then sarcastically my mil said "you cook things at your place now to cook here you need to ask make it we will see "
you tell me after gettng such kind of treatment should i still keep requesting her for things.thank God i am not staying in joint family.
yet my husband wants all the details to be told to them as my mil keeps throwing tantrums and then my fil calls my husband and says ur wife doesnot behave well ,ur mom is in deep depression and is not even cooking food and stuff of the sort

 

hi ramya
yes what ever little i have lerant i have learnt it online or through my sikh friends.no i dont have a sil .....the thing is she doesnt want to teach.she does her pooja when i am not around,even when i went to my in-laws place for my first diwali,theydidnot even call my husband and me for the pooja an d started doing it themselves.i forcefully entered the pooja room with my hubby.there as well after cleansing the idols they ased my husband and me to leave and sais they have to perform the pooja alone......

 

thanx superwoman
surely she is insecure a aresult of which she is making her boy's life a hell as well as he never tells me that his parents complained to him about me but i have over heard it at times he he he
sorry but her behaviour is so strange on one side she complains and on the other hand to show to her son that she cares a lot about me calls me up twice a day and pretends that she cares so much and is so tensed about me,i can make out that she is faking it all but dont want to say anything.
thanx for yor suggestions dear,i guess i will have to handle such things throughout my life or else i wold develop "a thick skin" and then things would stop bothering me