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Convenient Friendship!?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Tubinbataye, Jul 15, 2021.

  1. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    Hello all,
    Could be a petty thing yet It's disturbing me a wee bit more.
    Throughout my life trio friends group is what I have all experienced.
    After my marriage dissolved I had a trio ladies friends group,who are actually my ex h's friends wife( am I an idiot?) We knew each other since decade, our kids are of same age and we usually meet in small parties(birthdays mostly). Of course they both gossip about me in my absence, I felt like I need them more than they need me. I'm the youngest in the trio. A is almost 7 years older, B is 3 years older than me sometime I find it more difficult to gel with A,so eventually the thread gone thinner , myself and B were in frequent touch as B also had issues with A
    Now,I had some pooja in my home few weeks back, invited B and told that I'm not planning to invite A. B immediately refused to attend my pooja if A is not invited. I just said I can get you,if you change your mind pl come over.
    Since then I feel so disturbed. Where I went wrong? Am I not worth ? :thinking::shakehead::facepalm::yikes::confundio1:
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    This sounds like needless drama. You should have invited the lady without saying anything about not inviting the other friend. From what you describe these don’t really sound like your friends anyways. Try widening your social circle.
     
  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    I think B did a favour by not coming. Zoom, Skype etc.. are enabling invitations to ALL, without having to rub noses with ANY. @MalStrom is so right: you need to dump A and B, and get friends who are younger.
    It is good that there is that gnawing doubt in your mind. It is indeed a petty thing, that you can ignore. And instead, invite some IL'ites you know to come on a (virtual) Zoom meeting, and see what you are doing.
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    Last edited: Jul 15, 2021
    messedup and Tubinbataye like this.
  4. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    I'm finding it more difficult to build new friendships. I have cordial relationship with colleagues, and friends with my kids friends parents to some extend. I will work on myself. Thanks many
     
  5. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    Yeah, I took that occasion as a reason to meet in person. :smash2:
     
  6. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Cordials are good, so long as you know limits, and whether or not you are driving a car after that.
    Don't worry about people outside your home. You can learn a lot by running scenarios in your brain about the things that are important to you in life. Your child/ren, your cat/dog/pet, [let me skip the list here... :) ]and so forth. Imagine you are incapacitated with a severe ankle-sprain, and think who'd take care of the top three important things in your life (kids, pets, plants), those are the people you'd have at your puja or whatever else you have that deserves an exhibition to invitees.
     
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