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Contact Vs Connect

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sln, Sep 3, 2021.

  1. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    Agree. It is only in the definition of priorities there may be many shades of opinion.
    SLN
     
  2. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hello Sir
    Your daughter is doing right,after parents become older they should be treated like kids,I have seen even parents will behave in the same way.They do what they are told not to do.I am happy to hear from you that you are blessed with wonderful daughters.
    Be Happy and Healthy
    Regards
    Ratna
     
  3. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hello sir
    After reading your post I was emotional.How can children be so negligent towards parents.when they know how important spouse and children for them,why can't they understand parents feelings. Do they really need someone to tell their importance and needs in life?
    What will be the case if their children bring same situation?
    I feel in today's world no one is analysing or questioning themselves,sorry to say they are just behind money which cannot give satisfaction how much ever they earn they need to still run behind it.
    Today in world we have lot of contacts than earlier,but everything is touchless, contactless,heartless.
    Every one is getting good education, good job,good lifestyle but only there is space for parents,it's all because of lack of wisdom,our grand parents generation all lived with joint families,inspite of no proper education,job, financial support but still they used to support each other and build their unity.
    But today outsider are building old age homes and bringing unity among child left parents.
    Regards
    Ratna
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear SLN Sir,

    What a delightful snippet this is expressing one of the negative effect or societal change that had happened due to social media. Electronic contact (email and WhatsApp) is not the same as visual and interactive contact (Video conference) and visual contact is not the same as the physical appearance (face-to-face meeting). When the world became a global village, more and more children are looking to develop their career overseas away from the mother land and many times either their parents are not willing to make the move with the children or the children are leaving them alone in their mother land unable to visit them regularly.

    There is a trust setup in Srirangapattnam to perform the rituals for elderly and many parents are registering themselves in this trust to ensure their rituals are performed after death leaving only the responsibility to notify the trust to their adult children. When I heard this, my heart broke but the children who were either born or raised overseas or even raised but born in India may not be familiar with such rituals in future.

    Bonding with the parents must come naturally for the adult children especially seeing them in person from time to time. Even today, we have an unwritten law in our home that everytime, we have heated discussions between my son and myself, we hug each other after the discussion is over to break the ice and to tell each other that our love for each other is much more valuable than our different views.

    I still remember the movie taken by Kamalhassan titled, "Vasool Raja" where he talked about how to treat the patient with "Kattipudi Vaidhyam" (Hug Therapy). When I had a conversation with a terminally ill patient on Friday in a spiritual book review meeting, he said, "how valuable it is to him when a doctor hugs him to give him confidence". Holding the hands of the parents and walking them through, giving them a hug, eating mother's food with bright eye when she serves the meal with love, etc. play a prominent role in their well-being.

    When my father was terminally ill in 1987, he told me to stay with him after work and hold his hand for good 15-30 minutes every evening.
     
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  5. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    You are right. I am blessed with two angels. The elder one takes care of the finest details. I call her Thalli. The younger one is known as sister Teresa in our family circles but she deals with me like a head master. They were trained to be good human beings by my late wife and I had no role to play. The only regret is that they no longer allow me to take a flight by myself which at times leaves me with a feeling of being crippled while at other times I like being mollycoddled.
    Regards
    SLN
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @sln
    It is great to note your elder & younger daughters could trigger a well thought out a riveting snippet. Super good to read from bottom to top & from latest FB the first. I enjoyed reading the examples and other references indicated in The snippet.

    In the animal kingdom certain species, some days after delivery - the babies have to fend themselves and in similar manner in western countries they all get separated . Young wind with development of wings fly away. They do not need any emotional connect. They do not even long for that from their parents. Emotional connect be reciprocal among affluent. For example the desert camel mother would kick the baby she just delivered to make it stand and reac its udder. Emotional touch. A Contact and connect! The

    In spite of contacts secure to the new battery terminals, the engine did not start. It needed the emotional touch. The regular driver appeared opened the bonnet and with a mallet banged gently thrice on those battery terminals. Emotional connect.

    Renowned music composer of Tamil songs and popular violinist had this to say for contact and connection.

    His moribund dad lost vitality to speak and was suffering from acute stomach disorder. Virtuoso Violinist son Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan (K) returned from his long music season found dad on a cot in a sorry spectacle pointing to loft in his bed room and to a steel trunk. Tears jerked from his dad’s eyes.

    Wondering of its implication, he at once removed that trunk and opened and showed contents one by one to him. His dad eyes conveyed whether it was that or not. At one stage, his eyes stared and the object in the hand of K was a dog eared note book. K took it close to him, and with his fragile finger, he turned pages and stopped at pp of music notes. K thought for a while and understood his dad’s wish.

    He reached his box - removed the violin instrument and bow and began playing the raga notations seen in the page dad pointed out.

    K played on violin this raga for an hour, he found his dad by & by began staggering and then able to get up and sit on the edge of the cot expressed great relief from stomach pain. A contact & emotional touch for sure.


    The rag name is ....... am unable to recall. It could be vachaspathy.
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2021
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  7. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Thyagarajan,
    I appreciate the exhaustive analysis of the snippet and further authentication of the concept with excellent examples. Children particularly need the connect called Stroke in management parlance-be it positive or negative. Mere stuffing them with goodies will not substitute connect. You remember what happens in the film Bobby?
    Regards.SLN
     
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  8. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    Superb. "We have been so anxious to give children what we didn't have that we have neglected to give them what we have creating a feeling of "affluenza"
    Regards.SLN.
     
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