Confusions when kids are involved in R2I

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by Shanvy, Apr 7, 2010.

  1. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shanthi,

    You have started this thread at the right time(for me atleast).My daughter is going to KG2 now.Today is her first class.Me and my hubby had a big discussion yesterday since we need to opt for the 2nd and 3rd languages in KG2 itself.My husband wanted the 2nd language to be Tamil and I wanted it to be Hindi for 2nd lang and French as 3rd lang.Bcoz my mom is very good in teaching Tamil and I thought she will anyway learn Tamil from us and my mother and many schools have french lang.I wanted her to learn as many languages as possible.Finally we opted for Hindi.I hope I will not regret for our decision.

    But the main thing we worry about is the kind of competition in India.Kids here learn a lot of extra curricular activities and I love the confidence they have.But they do not have much seriousness in studies like we have in India.Even at KG1 we could feel the difference.The sylabus(she is in CBSE sylabus now and will move to CBSE -International from 1st grade) is very low which leaves us worrying about the competition she might have to face in India when she grows up.This is one big factor which makes me nervous in my R2I plan.

    How did your kids manage when they R2Ied?Did you face any trouble?I think if you can share your personal experience it would be helpful for many of us.

    Regards,
    Bhuvana!
     
  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Shan, you have a point. Parents can rub off their anxieties on kids. We do it all the time! I guess we need to be cautious as to how we present it to the children.
    Pressure is there even in the US, Shan. It's a misconception that there is no pressure outside of India. From whatever little I have experienced, I've felt the schools here have improved a lot. I don't see much of a difference at this stage at least. Maybe a few yrs later, I may change my opinion!!
    I do feel that parent participation in terms of volunteering for the school and other activities are definitely a good thing in the US. That's one thing that the Indian school system still lacks.
     
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  3. shyamshri

    shyamshri New IL'ite

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    Hi shanthi,
    I fully agree with you. I'm also in the plans of shifting to India in june '10 With my son in class 9 n daughter in class 7 the biggest thinking of mine is about the second language. as they dont know any Indian language its becoming very hard for us to get admission in chennai now. Here the academics is closing in june, until now I havent got admn in any school in chennai. As you say international schools are very expensive, CBSE schools with french dont have vacancy, they say, n matric syllabus I am not that interested.... really in a big confussion what to do.... Can anyone help me with the names of CBSE schools which offer french as second language in chennai?

    One way we are very happy to be back in our own place.... the feeling is really great. But the kids are almost out of the country for the past 8 years n are used to the international teaching system. Really worried how they are going to cope up with the Indian system of education. Will it be difficult? Anyone who is back from abroad please give your opinion.

    shyamala
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Bhuvana,


    I thought yesterday’s avatar was good, and you have changed it again.:cheers

    Thanks. I know the tension I had for almost 6 months, and I was talking about schools to anybody who called me, those days. :biglaugh:biglaugh

    All the best to your DD. I wanted to reply the day I saw your fb, but lots of busy at homefront.

    Second language being hindi, gives you an edge, thought TN does not consider kids who do well in languages apart from tamil, in the rankings.

    If you can teach your kid tamil, then there is no problem taking hindi as second and French as 3<sup>rd</sup> and when you move to higher classes, maybe the French will give her a edge if she has a intial foundation. Most schools in chennai start French as second language only in the 6<sup>th</sup>. Only one or two have them as second at the lower classes..and that too I do doubt.


    I know the fear. When we were in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bahrain</st1:place></st1:country-region>, I felt the same. To be honest, my DD who was always coming first in <st1:country-region w:st="on">Bahrain</st1:country-region>, did her maths entrance in <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Muscat</st1:place></st1:city> very badly. Though she went through, we understood that it was bad. Though now there are lots of other schools there.

    And when we moved to chennai from <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Muscat</st1:place></st1:city>, in all we have been out for around 7 years. And now the kids have adjusted very well to the syllabus, the pressure well maybe because, we did not give too much importance to marks. I always tell them that I am able to talk to you about theorems, definitions that I learnt 20 years back even today, and would like the same from my kids and not forgetting them by the time they start the next class. This kind of works well with them. Though the teachers and other parents think I am a xxx for thinking different.
    Competition is not something that is just in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country-region w:st="on">India</st1:country-region></st1:place>. The 6<sup>th</sup> std class my dd was in <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Muscat</st1:place></st1:city>, had kids having marginal difference of what .5,1 marks in-between the ranks.

    This is how we think, and tell our kids. I am not worried if you want to be a engineer, doctor, but we want you to be happy doing that, and not because somebody is doing that, somebody wants to do that. I will be happy even if you are going to work out as a farmer as long as you are contented.

    I just believe, give them the opportunity to think, focus and achieve. I don’t want them to have a tunnel vision or I don’t have a tunnel goal for them.


    At the same time, a friend of my dh’s colleague went back to <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Muscat</st1:place></st1:city>, as she could not do it in this environment. I believe, we have a high expectation of things when we think <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">India</st1:place></st1:country-region> and the schools. When there is almost nil expectations you are not going to feel bad.


    Infact, I did not have too much expectation from my kid’s school, so no disappointments (that does not mean, I would not like some changes). I have been open to the flaws in the system of education in <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">India</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

    Hope I have not confused you. do come back with questions if you have.
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    laks, definitely parents are the first teachers, and sometimes we forget that. the other day one of my friends was watching her toddler, and suddenly she did something, and my friends was cracking her head where she has learnt it from, i told her from you. she was shocked at how much kids observe. we definitely need to be cautious about how we approach, and present the picture when it comes to our kids.

    This is what I am trying to emphasise. pressure is there everywhere. we blow up too much when it comes to india. what could be the reason, i am wondering. is it because we always relate to india more even in a foreign country. we want to compare apples to apples..(here i mean a indian child as apple..) and the invisible yardstick that sits as a noose around our emotions.. I also have seen people talking about the achievements of the kids in their circle..

    Oh yes, schools have changed. when our way of thinking has changed, our outlooks have changed, our expectations, environment, and things have changed even our economy, growth has changed, I think, education should definitely
    follow. thought the quality of education even at the cost involved leaves a sour taste. I sometimes, wonder why are we giving so much importance to a school. Can a school alone make a person or break one. My DH did his schooling in a corporation school and i in a convent, both of us have done well, infact i would say DH has done better too.. again just digressing...

    Volunteering at school is a concept that should be introduced and would do a lot of good.

    so good to discuss this...:cheers:cheers having you here is real invigorating.
     
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  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Shyamshri,

    Many schools are being a little flexible with the second language as there are lots and lots of nri's returning back. this year i have seen many in the school.

    There are a few schools. infact my kids study in a school that offers french as second language from the sixth. check the chennai subforum schools section. we have discussed nri kids and the second language problem.

    don't worry. you need to check out with your son who is in the age where he needs to be involved. if he feels involved, and also justified, he will adjust. as long as there is no pressure from the parents the kids will perform. wiht no internal pressure, and only support the kids can tackle the external pressure. only when there is pressure on both sides do children suffer.

    all the best.
     
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  7. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a lot for the reply , Shanthi!

    Yes , I do agree with you on this.I chose this particular school for her so that she can spend a lot of time in extra curricular activities and gain confidence and not too much into academics in KG1 & KG2.But I get that "peer" pressure now when other mom's say "oh !My kids school has finished writing till 100" and lot other things.DD has just finished writing 50 in KG1.Initially I was cool but now-a-days I get a fear whether I did the right thing.

    A kid who scored first rank in his school here had a tough time getting into Velammal in Chennai.Hearing all this I get an indirect pressure bcoz we want to go back to India before she is 8 or 9 years of age.As you said , I might have to have the least or no expectation.

    I still have few questions left for you:
    • Did you or your NRI friends face any problem when the kids joined the school in India?
    • I have been hearing stories on kids being put a grade lesser.Is it true?
    Few children go for tution here.But I am not sending my daughter as I think it is too early to send her to tution.:bonk.I never went to tution till my 12th.I am so confused now.Though I stick to our decision , sometimes the "peer" pressure leaves me with guilt.

    I guess , I should be posting all this in parenting section probably.:hide:


    Note: Shanthi,I liked my prev avatar-Kollur mookambika.But day before yesterday , i was discussing about the "should we bare it all to husband" thread.My hubby was commenting "oh yeah..you discuss all this with Abdul kalam and kollur mookambika as avatar" .:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl.Though he said for fun , I changed my avatar to be a neutral one.Thatz the secret!
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Bhuvana,

    In my family, we are two sets who have returned. me with 7th and 4th going kids transitioned from cbse to cbse. while my BIL came in from a European country where the kids did have any second language. and the kids joined 4th and 1st here. believe me, both sets of kids are doing fine. my nephew learnt to write tamil, and has been doing a good job of passing in the class so is my niece.

    Yes, the edges need to be kept sharp, for a child to have a overall performance, and that is the responsibility of the school, anywhere, but these days, parents need to be 100% involved and that is the reason many school screen the qualification of the students.

    I have never attended any tutions. DD is in 10th, and maths is one thing that I sometimes find it difficult to keep up..(the reason, the new methods of teaching..) and inspite of that no tutions. we are only thinking of coaching when she goes for her cpt exams, if necessary.

    the kids being put in a lower class, is something i have not heard much. atleast as far as i have seen, no.

    Peer pressure is something you need to tackle at all places. DH tells me people ask me now dd is in 10th what are doing, which course, how much money you have saved, and he calls me to ask what are we doing. the only thing that we are doing is being cool..(don't ask me how..because it is real tough to be one..)

    I get the same pressure at school, when i went to pay the fees, i had so many questions from parents, which tution, which notes, which book.

    The other parent bragging that her kid has done upto 100's or something needs to be ignored. this is what i did when my DS was in kg. he had problems. i ensured he knew what comes after 10/20/....and so on . he learnt upto 50 in lkg. he learnt to write till 100 in ukg. but by the end of the academic year he could write upto 1000 without any struggle because he learnt to apply himself, and think what next. the same with reading spellings..

    parental bragging does put pressure if you don't learn to ignore.

    you know what is best for your child, go with your instincts it is the best teacher.
     
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  9. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    :thumbsupThanks a lot for your reply,Shanthi!I am trying my level best to keep myself on Bay with peer pressure.Yes, even my daughter has the same pattern as you have mentioned(50 till KG1 and then 100 in KG2).

    Do you have any idea about CBSE-International?I do not have much information about it on the net(except that they have mentioned that the history will cover history all over the world).They have just introduced this year in 4 schools here in Doha.My daughter's school is one among them.They are doing it on trial basis this year.How do we compare this with our CBSE?

    Sorry to ask too many questions to you,Shanthi!None of my known contacts have any info on this.They also here it for the first time this year and waiting for an answer from somebody who knows about it.

    Regards,
    Bhuvana.
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Bhuvana,

    DD has been studying world history here. When we were in muscat, i was worried as they were studying oman, instead of india, and i had to consciously get cd's that showed the agriculture, land, river, factories setup of india as I got to check that out in the ncert-website textbooks.

    Cbse international syllabus is nothing but is a format that they want to successfully introduce all over the world making it easy for the reverse brain drain. cbse is having a series of meetings to sign mou's with different educational system around the word.

    I am sure it is not going to be tough. infact the way cbse has revamped itself recently, it is going to be great for the kids.

    both dd and ds have been getting liberal doses of world history. it is interesting.
     
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