Confused.. am i just being petty?

1)I like to go out and explore the new country but my husband was born and brought up here so that doesn't fancy him so we haven't gone anywhere.

On your part, it is reasonable. DH has not yet realized that he is married and his routines needs to be changed. He should find time to give you an orientation about the new place ( Transport system, routes , places etc ). It is not just the matter of visiting some places, being a newly married couple, it is important to spend some quality time together and share some good moments to get to know each other.

On the other hand, do not depend him for each and everything. Learn to be independent. You may take some initiative to build up orientation about the new country. Initially you may go for shopping / Bank etc alone. Meet the neighbors. Build up a friend's circle of your own.



2)I'd absolutely adore to go on a dinner date but my husband hates eating out and prefers to sit at home on weekends(my husband works 48hrs a week and prefers spending weekends getting drunk at home or with his friends)

This is also reasonable. He should change his routines. Once in a week, you both may go out for dinner / cinema etc. It is normal. After Marriage priority should be given to Family first and friends next.

Drinking at home must be stopped now itself. It may not be easy to stop it later, if he used to it. It's not a good thing if you have children. Do not give impression to the kids that drinking is NORMAL.


3)I am searching for a job here and my husband does not help me(in spite of asking him to help me.he's been in this country for close to 30years and knows a lot of people unlike me)

Yes. You are right. He knows more about that place than anyone else. He should support and help you at the beginning at least. He should take some initiative too.

On the other hand, you may learn to be independent. Get orientation about the place, see the news paper ads for vacant positions and apply. It will also help you
to integrate faster.



4)He has a huge ego and will never make an attempt to make up after a fight(If i don't take the first move i feel it will go on for days and since I'm lonely here and have only him I always make up as soon as I have cooled down)

It may take some time to identify each other's boundaries. tolerance is a must
for successful family life.

5)Before marriage he told me quit smoking and a week after marriage he tells me he still smokes.(I used to tell him I don't like it and he shouldn't smoke but now i don't cos i feel it makes him happy and so i don't say anything when he smokes and he goes out of control)

Better put restrictions to smoking at home first. Tell him not to smoke at home.
It would affect the kids too. His will is important in such matters.

6)I also have an issue with him drinking.(Earlier it was once a week and I was okay with it.But last week he drank on three days and we fought about it)

This is not good. Better put restrictions to drinking and smoking at home first. Tell him after marriage priority should be given to family and then friends. Initially a quota should be fixed for every week. His will is important in such matters.

If he can't control this habits now, life will become difficult later.

7)He loves watching TV shows and i don't like to but I still do it as that's the only "couple-thing" we do.

That's fine.

8)He doesn't like to discuss work related problems with me and if he is in a bad mood he wont even talk to me

Give him his own space. Do not intervene in his work related problems. Do not expect him to share each and everything.

and the list goes on with things of this sort.

We have arguments mostly based on this almost once a week,Is this normal? Am I just being petty and immature? Am I expecting too much?

You are alone and not working. No friends either. So it is natural to expect better communication and more time from DH. But your DH seems to be content and established his own space at home. Do not irritate him or argue with him about it.
Instead , You may try to change his routine slowly and steadily without any friction.

At the same time try to be independent , find a job at the earliest and build up your own friends circle. You will get more respect from DH and more power to control then,

Apart from this I know my husband loves me a lot and he knows I love him too.

Please help me.I am all ears for advice and I am ready to change and go to any extent to be happy.

All the Best.

 

Looks like he is taking you for granted. How do you know he loves you? What does he do to show that love apart from putting a roof over your head and food on your plate? How long have you been married? You should focus on becoming eachother's friends.

And you should become more independent and start exploring the country yourself. Also make contacts outside and do try for a job yourself. Stop expecting everything from your husband. And when you two meet at the end of every day, you tell him about how your day was and make that part interesting. Go on a lunch date with yourself or with other women in your area. Even by yourself is not a bad option. You will feel good at the end of the day. Good luck!

 

I can't add more than what @catwalk has mentioned.
Most of the times, men who are used to a bachelor routine needs time to become responsible.
Mine is a love marriage and we know each other from school. Still my husband took 2-3 yrs for "Me to We transition". Even now, after 6 years of marriage he doesn't consider me as family when it comes to his parents.
Give him his space, try to understand that men needs more time to change unlike women. Build a friendly relationship with him. Take proper care that he enjoys your company. Try to bring up conversations of his interest. Once you build a bond, you can slowly make him responsible.

 

You said you have financial issues...could that be the reason for him to not take you out?
nevertheless, you should give him some time to get on board with 'Husband' character.

Often, marriages are huge money affairs..u r married for only 4 months. let things settle down.

Try to plan something which involves less money..like a movie marathon on netflix..or candle light dinner at home..or bake some cake at home together.