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Confused About My Kid's Friends...

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by sudharun, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. sudharun

    sudharun Senior IL'ite

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    Hi friends,
    Am very much stressed and confused about my neighbour who is also my dd's friend. Actually my neighbour very cunning and jealousy. Our relationship with her is just smile. Not even hai or bye.if she need any help she comes to my home and ask without any hesitation. I too help her. I won't talk much to my other neighbours too. Just a smile that's all. And won't involve any gossips or unwanted talk with them. But actual prob is her kid. Who is 4 yrs elder than my dd. Some times my dd went there to play with them. They use to avoid my dd most of the time. I don't know the reason. So I won't allow my dd there. But last month my neighbour and her dd talk bad about my kid and family to my kid's sch mate. They said my kid looks ugly and not at all good gal and so on. My kid's sch mate insult my kid in sch in front of all by saying this. She was very upset and worried. Actually my kid is very calm and good gal even sch topper. She won't talk bad about others and also not ugly looks as they said. Am very much worried y PPL r like this. Y they are spreading bad abt my family and my kid. Pls help me to deal this situation. My DH ask me to ignore this matter. But I want to talk with that bitch lady how dare she says like this? Confused.....:sleepy:
     
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  2. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    Which country are you in and how old is your child? If somebody did this to my child in school under the teachers watch I would be complaining to school principal about bullying. In US bullying is taken very seriously and I think you should take this incident seriously too, if you give more inputs about age and country I may be able to help you more.
     
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  3. sudharun

    sudharun Senior IL'ite

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    Actually am in Chennai am my kid is 4 the std
     
  4. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    4th std is almost 10 - 11 yrs old its an impressionable age you should first of all talk to your child and make her feel comfortable in her own skin, its very difficult to disturb and harass a confident person who has a I don't care attitude. Next talk to her class teacher, tell her the incident that happened and ask her if she can handle it, if the teacher cannot ask her if she can hold a meeting where the other child who called your child ugly her parents can come in so you can talk to them in front of the teacher. Do this diplomatically, say things like I don't want trouble, kids should get along, etc. Don't scream, shout, blame or be emotional be firm that you are concerned about this bullying behavior and if it is not curbed you will take further action. (no need to mention what further action). Make sure in all this your dd should always feel protected and that you are on her side no mater what. We as parents are the biggest advocate of our children and in this day and age though kids seem independent than ever they actually need more protection since they are so vulnerable.
    Once the message is passed to one parent that you don't take things lightly regarding your child the main instigator will also be indirectly warned. If things don't go as expected even after this I would do in full b***h mode on this neighbor and show her my durga avatar!
     
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  5. sudharun

    sudharun Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for ur wonderful reply.
     
  6. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    OP, pre-teens from what I remember is confusing, many a time. One has to tread carefully to avoid any unwanted outcome. Boys, sex, self-image, beauty, friends, peer-pressure etc are top most priority apart from studies.

    Have you spoken with your daughter about how she wants this handled? Perhaps she already has some ideas about how to deal with this. Maybe you can ask her opinion about how she wants to go about this. This will be an extremely valuable lesson for her in dealing with bullies. This is just the beginning. She is going to come across mean bitches all her life. Equip and support her and be a helmet for her instead of you dealing with it yourself. Ask her if she would like you to talk to her teacher about it; just to make sure the teacher knows what’s going on.

    If this is happening day-in-and-day-out, then it is bullying and you need to make a formal complaint against the children involved. But prior to talking to the teachers, get your childs opinion. If she is against going to the teachers, perhaps you can tell her that you are not “complaining”, you are just “informing” the teacher.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2017
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