Confessions of a DIL

Early in our marriage, dh and I stayed at ILWs house. I was studying for an exam. My mil claimed to be supportive before marriage but soon after I realized that she did not want me to study at all. Every time I was with books she remembered important gossip, some urgent chore that I HAD to do etc. Soon I was bugged.
I was listening to some music in my iPod one day and dh wanted to talk to me. He was saying something but I couldn't hear. Mil was seeing this the whole time. Dh explained to her that the music is too loud and I couldn't hear a word of what people were saying around me. He later told me about this incident. I had a brilliant plan btt
Next time mil came with her chores I pretended to listen to music and wouldn't lift my head. I can't study AND listen to music but she didn't know that! So I pretended the music was on and poor mil would do silly things to get my attention. She tried this for a few time and gave up! Whenever she saw me with my iPod she would just scowl and leave the room and I could then study in peace :thumbsup

 

My mil used to complain about me to her relatives. The usual stuff that I couldn't cook, I was not good enough etc etc. one day we met her sil who in front of my dh mentioned how mil bad mouths me all the time and said that my mil thinks I am a terrible dil. Dh and I were upset and he asked me to talk to her instead of keeping ill feelings. Later in the evening in presence of dh and fil I asked her calmly why she bad mouths me so much. If she had problems with me she should talk to me and not others. I did not mention who told me. Mil panicked and wanted to know who would double cross her and tell me about this. So she started naming all her relatives and friends. Was it her cosis, daughter, sister, this or that friend, neighbour etc.
i gave her a shocked look and told her it was none of the above. Dh immediately quipped "so she has been bad mouthing about her dil to all these people!" notdonesmiley
She went on to give a lame excuse about how relatives and friends expect a mil to speak ill about her dil etc. poor save darling....fil was not too impressed with her either :coffee

 

My Incident!

My MIL dont like non veg so she had kept our temple stand in the kichen and so she has reason, we cannot make nonveg because god will smell it...

Whenever i used to tell we will shift our temple stand to living room she used to say our poojari had restricted to do this we cannot shift...

One day my DH long distance uncle came home who stays near by and so he said why u guys kept temple stand in Kitchen its not good shift it to living room... I was watching MIL - why she not telling about her poojari now.. because she was lying to me ...

She had no choice in front of our uncle but said ok.. N i was happy now next time when i go india will tell my DH and shift then i can make non veg whenever i want...Ohhhhh:2thumbsup:

 

btt
poor mil would do silly things to get my attention.





oh this is exactly wht my MIL do ... so funny..
she wont tell me wht i have to do directly but indirectly she will talk to herself so that i listen to it.. but i pretend as if am not listening

 

This is a very interesting discussion. My in-laws are no where close to being mean as many in laws posted in thi forum. But they do have very strong opinions about what the "man" should or shouldn't do.
I am a feminist...and have demanded equal rights when it was not given..(many did end up ugly..but i would rather have tried than not)

anyways..when my husband once started brooming my MIL was very upset and I told her that she cannot call me a daughter if she is partial like this adn taht those are just words. Since then she started doing the brooming ehrself..since she doesn't want me doing it now after that statement. I felt bad but I felt that this is how DIl gets manipulated into doing these things.

Like one IL had mentioned..i never ever discuss MIL problems with my husband..always sweet quote every situation..handle it all myself..that way I am never the bad one. That said..I try to also reason with them and do what i feel is right...even if it means my husband doesn't agree.

I need to help myself..expecting our husband or parents or siblings..never works..we need to stand up for ourself.

 

Very true Friendlygirl... I too think like u .. we need to oppose injustice at that right moment. I we close our eyes for the first time.. then we will have to close our eyes for all the other incidences as well which is not correct. Due to this nature of mine my MIL & SIL are upset with me and dont tell me anything directly .. if they have any issue they discuss with my DH privately.. I also dont bother:cool2: