Concerns From Teacher About Kindergartener

beingmom · Jan 8, 2020

My kid is in Kindergarten and his teacher reached out to me stating that from the past few weeks, each morning my kid will wait outside the classroom and refuse to come in. He usually has to have someone walk him in and then he will take an unusually long time to unpack his backpack. As a result, this will delay him in getting his morning work done.

Here is a thread I created previously for more info about him: Adhd Concern

He no longer picks his sibling or picks any kid and I feel like he is coming back to his normal self (not a lot of tantrums anymore. **knock on wood).

We are taking him to Occupational Therapy and I'm planning to mention it to the therapist.

As a parent, how can I help him get out of this habit of not willing to go to the class? On our part, I think we are dropping him right when the school bell is about to ring and by that time the teacher would have picked up all the kids to the class. Maybe he doesn't like to go alone to the class. I'm thinking of dropping him early (totally our mistake) enough for him to join his classmates when going to class.

Also, he is very good at playing with kids 1x1. But he doesn't want to play in a group unless they're willing to play his favorite game. How to improve this social skill?

thanks for your help.

Rihana · Jan 9, 2020

Great to hear that he has stopped picking on sibling and other kids and is coming back to his normal self.

For the unwilling to go to his class thing, you have already come up with a good analysis about dropping him off earlier. In the 5-10 minutes before the morning bell rings a lot of socialization happens outside the classroom. The kids make plans for what they will play in recess, for example. They may even decide who gets to play first with the hula hoops, basketball, or whatever play equipment is available to the kindergartners. They learn negotiation, taking turns, making plans, keeping promises and the joy of looking forward to the day.

Many activities in preschool, KG and lower elementary grades happen better in group. It is easier for the teacher also. So, consistently being among the last to be dropped off can make the child feel left out.

Try to make the morning time less hectic at home. Above all, try to avoid scolding child or spouse about getting late, misplaced backpack, missing or unwashed lunch box, jacket not to be found. In the car ride to school, develop some rituals like counting the trees, colors of cars, or talking about your childhood, or recalling child's preschool years. Do not fume at the drop-off traffic and inconsiderate drivers. If it takes 8-10 minutes to drop off, that is 40-50 minutes a week. Use that time creatively as much as possible. It will make the start of the day easier for the child.

If you have dropped him just at the bell-ringing time so far, don't think of it as a mistake. As parents, we have to and take or make many short-cuts or compromises. Whenever we feel that one is not good for the kid, we change just that one while retaining the other short-cuts that are working OK.

About playing better with kids 1x1 - why not leave that as is for now? They do enough activities in class and play in the playground as one group or smaller groups. Some children remain more comfortable in 1-1 setting and that is fine to leave as is. As he grows older, he may prefer solo activities like tennis, swimming, martial arts over basket ball, soccer, and that is totally fine. If he can work in a group when required, that is more than enough.

beingmom · Jan 9, 2020

Rihana said: ↑

Great to hear that he has stopped picking on sibling and other kids and is coming back to his normal self.

For the unwilling to go to his class thing, you have already come up with a good analysis about dropping him off earlier. In the 5-10 minutes before the morning bell rings a lot of socialization happens outside the classroom. The kids make plans for what they will play in recess, for example. They may even decide who gets to play first with the hula hoops, basketball, or whatever play equipment is available to the kindergartners. They learn negotiation, taking turns, making plans, keeping promises and the joy of looking forward to the day.

Many activities in preschool, KG and lower elementary grades happen better in group. It is easier for the teacher also. So, consistently being among the last to be dropped off can make the child feel left out.

Try to make the morning time less hectic at home. Above all, try to avoid scolding child or spouse about getting late, misplaced backpack, missing or unwashed lunch box, jacket not to be found. In the car ride to school, develop some rituals like counting the trees, colors of cars, or talking about your childhood, or recalling child's preschool years. Do not fume at the drop-off traffic and inconsiderate drivers. If it takes 8-10 minutes to drop off, that is 40-50 minutes a week. Use that time creatively as much as possible. It will make the start of the day easier for the child.

If you have dropped him just at the bell-ringing time so far, don't think of it as a mistake. As parents, we have to and take or make many short-cuts or compromises. Whenever we feel that one is not good for the kid, we change just that one while retaining the other short-cuts that are working OK.

About playing better with kids 1x1 - why not leave that as is for now? They do enough activities in class and play in the playground as one group or smaller groups. Some children remain more comfortable in 1-1 setting and that is fine to leave as is. As he grows older, he may prefer solo activities like tennis, swimming, martial arts over basket ball, soccer, and that is totally fine. If he can work in a group when required, that is more than enough.
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Rihanna,
Thanks a lot for suggestions. You have no idea how soothing it is to read your message

Now I have some action plans and we dropped him 10 minutes early today.