We have been married for almost 5yrs. Our finances have always been separate. We give each other space for financial independence and respect each other’s decisions on choices of expenditures we make apart from the routine shopping bills. After moving to US, I took up an average paying job, we decided my salary will be our savings and hubby would manage everything else. I worked for about 3yrs and used 70% of the savings towards the down pay of our new house we bought year and a half back. Hubby contributed the rest. We had our baby girl last year and considering the nanny /day care expenses we decided it was wiser for me give up my job and stay at home to take care of the little one. Hubby was ok with anything I decided to do. Our medical expenses were paid off with his FSA account plus his savings. I did not contribute towards medical expenses. However I took care of the new house setup (minor expenses on stuff to organize and the decor, carpets etc) and also took care of baby needs right from clothing to diapers etc. We shop about $150 to $180 avg every 2weeks for grocery( Indian store+ Others for milk, bread, baby food) and hubby pays. It’s over a year I stopped working so he pays the mortgage and other bills too himself. We support his mom & brother back in India. Sending cash every few months plus additional luxury expenses that comes along with buying expensive gifts for them all the time. Hubby is a caring man, never says no for anything I want to buy & in-fact never says no to anyone who iapproach him for help. But this also makes him very lenient on money matters. Last year I found he is lending money to one of our common friends (3 or 4lakhs) without mentioning anything to me. This is not the first or the only instance. There are more than 3 or 4 friends who took money from him. 2 are not even in talking terms now so that money is gone I guess coz hubby would never ask them for sure. And he loves spending money on branded expensive stuff that he won’t even use like gadgets that cost $500 to $1000. This year he bought me the latest iPhone with watch & pods easily costing $1800. He’s very secretive when it’s money, I am not involved in certain aspects like how much he sends home, how much bonus he gets in the year, how much savings he’s got, how much debt we have apart from the home loan, balances on his cards, how much money he has given to whom, I dono nothing! We both come from middle class families and don’t own huge properties back home. I am worried on where we are heading financially. With my account he knows every detail & I am transparent in My transactions with others too. I discuss everything with him. I have always had a very disciplined finance management, my mom was very particular and I am glad that was ingrained in me as well. On the other hand I see hubby all over the place with his money. No tracking/ no budgeting, anyone gets anything of any cost. There’s no fine line on things. I clearly see people taking advantage of him. But he doesn’t like my interference. I want to stay at home for another year or so. And his job is no longer stable with many changes in the hierarchy. How do I get this on track?! I want us to have more structured planning in terms of what we spend and what we save. Every-time I try to talk, it becomes an argument. Any inputs in highly appreciated! Thank you ladies..