Completely stop talking to in-laws? Implications?

but I don't care anymore...ppl who know her will understand....ppl who know me will laugh at her....

 

well if ur hubby is with u and he doesn't care whether u talk or not, then U R REALLY LUCKY!!!

Be yourself!

 

FB , was just an instance. The truth is ,that's where , I get a hold of the teenagers in a good mood, so , I click like , just to make them happy by acknowledging what they post ( " India rocking " or " U.S. doomed " or " some Cricketer dating some Actress " ).

These fancy lines are media created frenzy , and teenagers could only trust and re-post them on FB or twitter to look cool.

FB could be after all to some lady , but , that's where you find a typical teenager spending lot of time.

I call my parents on a telephone,
I see my sister on skype,
I find some of my friends on twitter,
I find some of my friends on IL,
I read health articles on Yahoo Shine,
I meet my neighbors in evening walk,
I meet other parents at school,
I meet teenagers on FB......... what's so "after all" about it or anything else ?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I also get inspire and take good from our historical & mythological characters.. to keep up the family harmony.
BTW, please don't make fun of people who try to get the things done in different ways ( FB or IL).

 

Didn't I mention , that I try to be in touch ( just touch ) with the teenagers on FB , no responsibilities on FB .........

My MIL is our responsibility , to whom my H has provided a Rs 10,000 /- salaried nurse to take care of her .

Faking , literally works , I have seen in western world, if they don't like some thing , they say " Not Bad". ( I get it , neither good )

when I wear a saree, my other Asian colleagues say , " you look gorgeous ",
but , they never say , isn't it so inconvenient to drive with a saree ?

Because , they don't want to comment negative on something , I like ........

 

That's what you believe. That's what I would like to believe too. However, many SILs believe that they and their families are their brother's responsibility too. I won't be surprised if your sils are fuming that a nurse is looking after their mother and not you. Expectations from son/brother and DIL are unending.

Yes, you are right about the westerners. But then they don't really have any responsibility towards you. If you are uncomfortable driving wearing sari, how does that matter to them, they are not going to volunteer to drive you home. The basic principle people abide by is 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything'. In a way I like it too. In India, I feel people are too frank about giving their opinion and I hear a lot of snide remarks about me and my son. People just have to say something about things they don't like- be it someone's height, weight, complexion, way of dressing, hair... Here I don't hear any bad comments.

But, unfortunately, you cannot keep the same kind of distance with your close family. Even if their comments are hurtful, you cannot do anything.

 

Anikha, i wasnt making fun. i was telling seriously. using diff mediums for communication is making use of recent tech for our convenience in day to day life yahoo, skype, telephone etc.. but u dont really have to fake good opinions all the time especially when they dont ask for it...like on FB...they jt put some status post or photo for all their frnds to see..not only for u..not necessarily everyone should like it according to their own taste.... frankly, if one of my aunties like whatever i share on fb and faking it too will make me feel that she not only a liar but also desperate to achieve my kinship. everybody situation is diff and i understand if thats how u want it.

 

Yes Monita,

You are 200 % right , that MIL is son's responsibility in India.

I would love to live in India and see our elders ageing ( mine and H's ) , enjoy family gatherings.

But , my H can't afford a nurse with 10 k per month for MIL if he works in India .

So, either way me and my H get the beating from SILs.

We behave like westerners with in my side of family , we don't pass unnecessary negative comments on our kids ( my sister's , by brother's kids & mine ) .

If , some thing is already done , we can't change it , by passing our honest opinion.

There is a sensitive line drawn between us ( my side of family ) ,which we don't cross.

My H side , I try to draw , but , my SIls don't care , they like to pass free negative opinions on my kids.

So, I keep the distance , limit the direct conservation with SILs and their kids , try to be in minimal touch on FB....& phone.

That's what , i was explaining in my previous posts

 

Yes Riyagan,

I am desperate , " to be in touch" with my H side folks. I would use any medium to be in the good books of
younger generation of my H 's family.

People will become desperate to pick something , when all other avenues are closed.