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Competetive and Jealous SIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by soccermom, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    My only point of mentioning fair was everybody else in my in laws family are dark.It didnt mean ugly.
    Once I did as you told to my FIL that I wont take any nonsense from him or his daughter. That didnt stop my FIL. But my SIL ,I am happy she hasnt tried it again. Although I must say given an interaction b/n her and my husband anytime her sole aim is to see to it that my husband separates from me.She keeps the spice in my life. Also if left to her decision my husband although being smart will end working in an ordinary job in India with no career ambitions .She has ruined everybody in her family to have no career ambitions and her target is my husband now.becoz everybody else she cud ruin successfully apart from my husband.
     
  2. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    She sounds like a peice of work. Does she have a life of her own? She must be a miserable wretch if her sole aim in life is to destroy other people's happiness.

    Is she married? I hope not...no husband deserves a wife like this!!!
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    She is a piece of work. She can give evil lessons to anybody. She is a topper in that.She has a life of her own. Her life is to ruin anybody who doesnt follow her instructions.
    She is married and her husband is a Joru ka ghulam.Oh he does deserve her. Once he tried calling us here when my husband wasnt there to tell me to come back to India. He is one more ardent fan of my SIL.So i told him I need to think and will let him know. My FIL raised hell and told my parents that I told their SIL off.My parents told my in laws after marriage its her life and we cant interfere as much as possible.Oh she was devastated when she learned my hubby applied for GC.Even after that she tried to convince him to come back to India.She cant have a GC so we shudnt have. Its the eternal sin to have anything she doesnt. Mind you she is a 8-9 yrs elder to my husband. My hubby is in early 30's .
     
  4. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

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    hi ladies,
    you are all worrying much about SIL..Let me also share with you all my experience,so that everbody will be cool and get subsided when i explain you all about my SIL. My SIL really is very aggressive,rude and she thinks that she is very very beautiful..Anybody can ask me about how i can say that she thinks she is beautiful? She is really very very very fair and if anybody see her definitely they will say she looks good..When i first saw her,i thought wow! but,after hearing her words,rudesness,not answering properly and shouting at her house..i really got upset and thought real beauty is not outside and it will be inside everybody through their pleasent behaviour and respect for others..whenever she comes to india,she will be in the house with very short skirt or only shimmy with A/C ON infront of others..reason is india is very hot(?) infact,she is in USA,the place with a warm weather. When she sleeps,and if i come to my parents in laws house before marriage,if my FIL calls her,she will shout inside her room and i will go and say hi to her...after marriage she will always complaint about me to her brother like not talking to her parents ...i completely lost interest towards her and her behaviour made me sick and i almost stopped talking to her. my MIL and FIL realised that just because she is rude i have stopped talking to her..But they have not convinced..since because she is SIL,i have to respect her...whatever she be..infact she is one year elder to me..and she is also jealous of me because i will paint,and my husband supports me.so she said something something to my husband and tried to change his mind.i don't know why these are all creates controversy without any reason.she will say that she is trying to paint ...she complaints that i have changed my husband...but nothing happened like that...too much imagination..i think may be because of insecurity she is telling...How is it ladies?
     
  5. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear rya,

    I maybe wrong but somehow from ur post i got a feeling that u r trying to tell us all that u r having the most problem than all of us.
    Dear friend,we always feel that what we r suffering is the worst.But we must not tell like that.See for u ur problem maybe big but for me my problem is big.
    We come to IL to share our problems and seek friendship.
    Pls do not compare sufferings.Pain and sufferings cannot be compared and measured.
    See chocolate,how much she is suffering coz of her sil.But she did not tell all of us,listen to me and u will all cool down.
    Let us be considerate to all the others pain and help each other in getting our confidence back.
    Take care and keep posting..I just wrote what i felt and hope u dont feel hurt by my post.

    Suji
     
  6. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

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    hi suji,
    no no..i have not replied in a comparitive manner..i saw everybody's post and i had it inside for years..since you have all posted yours,i also posted it to console everyone not to compare..i just wanted to vent outside since it was totally a nervous breakdown for me..whenever i even think about those happenings,i will become nervous..again no comparison.....
    thanks
     
  7. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear rya,

    Thanks for clarifying.Sorry that i misunderstood ur post.
    Hope u dont have any hard feelings for me.

    Suji
     
  8. buggedbysil

    buggedbysil New IL'ite

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    Re: Lousy BS SIL !

    hey gurls! one more to the club!
    ive been married for 2 yrs now and i feel the same as u girls. My SIL is so very insecure n jealous. I stay with my in-laws in India and she is with her husband in the UK.My SIL is 10 yrs elder to me and has a kid.

    My MIL and FIL are very sweet people. I have no complaints. My MIL has gone through her share of MIL torture from her MIL and so she keeps telling me tat she does not want to hurt me in any way. I respect her a lot for this.

    The problem is with my SIL. She gets upset if anybody in the family talks something nice about me. She ignores me when i talk. I can see it that she is not happy if her younger brother (my husband) talks about me or praises me. She is not in good terms with her in-laws. she is a kind of person who wants all the attention to herself and cannot tolerate if anybody praises me or gives me some attention. She has hurt me a lot by passing negative comments abt me and also by talking rudely.

    For intance, once my husband had just told her that she is fat n i am thin. and so she had vented out her anger on him by asking him nt to compare her with me.

    She has also mentioned it to my husband that she is jealous of me being with her brother. Initially after my wedding, my husband would be a little scared about telling his sister that he is spending some time with his wife. He would be worried that his sister would think that he is spending more time with his wife, not giving much importance to her.

    Ive been very nice to her for 2 years inspite of all the torture and recenly i lost my patience and had to tell my feelings to my husband. My husband understood what i was going through and has supported me. The matter has also reached my In-laws who keep telling me tat how nice they are to me and hence i have to tolerate their daughter. My MIL has a habbit of screening off all the mistakes her daughter does. She doesnt say anything to her daughter even if she knows that her daughter is wrong. I am very grateful to my In-laws but at the same time tortured by my SIL. Life seems tough now.

    My SIL is behaving as though i have changed her brother who would love her so much before marriage.

    What would you girls suggest i do?
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2009
  9. ValuableTime

    ValuableTime Senior IL'ite

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    My SIL is also one big fuzzy character. Infact, I have 2 of them. One is more silent and plays games in my family wrt financial issues. Another is always complaining and not satisfied.
    Coming to the first SIL, what irritates me is that, anything and everything she does, will be done in my IL's house which includes even a small telephone call. She is living very closely to my IL's home and everyday she & her 2 childrens will come here. Well, I wont say anything wrong in coming to my IL's home. However, if she wanna talk to someone, she has to do it in her own CellPhone which she has, not in my IL's house phone. Finally, what she says is, her husband does not want her to stay in parents house. Because somebody will say that they are sitting at parents home all the time. Infact, she does it everytime.
    My DH will send money to my IL's specifically for Festival shoppings. What she does is, she will buy a low priced item for the childrens with her money(so that no one says that she is not spending at all) and let my IL's buy a very costly dress for them. And now, my IL's have to spend this money in buying clothes for 2 SIL's & their 3 childrens. Giving money for festival shopping is ok for me. However, taking advantage out of it is really unbearable.
    Coming to Second SIL, thats even more of a big story. This started immediately after our wedding got fixed. During the Betrothal function, my DH was not there in India. So we just had a kind-of family get together. At that time, they want me to put all the jeweleries I have and be like "Jigina Rani". Well, I am not the kind of, "See, what and all I have". But they want me to be like that. Asking a Bride to put jewelery is not a surprise. However what they asked is a total shock to me. To note, All this askings comes from my SIL. And then, next day, my MIL, SIL's called and filled a complaint against me to my Mom. My mom is one big "OK" sayer. So, she started to give big advice to me. Next comes the Saree Selection, here, it will be very funny, they want me to put all jewelery to go to Pothys and the reason they gave is, "Everyone has to know that you are the Bride". OMG!!!
    Ok. Now the day before my marraige, my second SIL came to my home, to inspect the dress and jewels I have for the wedding. According to their famiy, she is the Fashion Diva :rotfl. I happily showed everything I have, well, I dint know that time about how I can never satisfy her. I am the only child for my parents. So, obviously, I made up my mind, like, she will be like a sister to me. After seeing the things, she just said, everything is nice & went to home. Now, there, she told my DH that the jewels are not nice & ask me to change it. Why dint she say that to me? Well, I was so irritated & me & my DH was having arguments in the phone on the day before our wedding. How annoying. If she was so concerned about how I am gonna look, then she should have come & tell this some days before. Atleast, I can try to change it. At the last moment, how is it possible?? And saying that its not nice, made me so stressed out. After all, every girl wants to look good on her wedding day. Then my beautician came to the wedding for my make up and she said that the jewels match perfectly to my saree and I looked gorgeous.
    Since, mine is a love marraige, my MIL & my SIL's does'nt like me at all. What their opinion was that, they will be able to find a more beautifull girl with more dowry & better financial background. Now since it dint happen, they started to show hatred on me. They started to compare with any girl who have a fair skin. Well, I am not very fair, however, I am not that dark too when compared to ppl in their family. This irritates me a lot. They will say indirectly that, I am not a good match to my DH. All sugar-coated words with irritating meaning behind it. All this I have to bear with. It really shaked my confidence level. When the wedding album came, they've all dumbstruck and stopped talking about beauty once for all. However, after that what she does is, When she sees some photos of us taken here in US, she will say that my DH has become lean and I have put on some weight and I dont take good care of my DH. Always complaining. Well, my DH very well knows about her and he himself gets irritated.
    Sorry Ladies, for the long post, I intended it to be small. However, I could not control it once I started to write.
     
  10. indigrl

    indigrl New IL'ite

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    Don’t even start me with SILs. I have 3 SILs. All are a piece of work.
    My oldest one is married in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> but yet she has something to say about me every time. First time she came to visit us in US, she told me everything my DH’s ex did to him and them (I didn’t ask for any of it). She is much easier to deal with though; she lives in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> so I don’t talk to her much. My other 2 SILs live with us.
    My middle one thinks that I am out to get my husband. I am going to KILL him somehow. And she has voiced her opinion quite a few times. This is the SIL who was married 5 yrs ago in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region>, lived with her in laws for 1 week and decided she doesn’t like the guy and his family and never applied for him. Now she is looking for someone to get married again to in US. From what I have heard sometimes (during fights :rant) I think she had an affair with someone too.
    My youngest one has emotional problems. She is verbal and physical. She has no qualms about hitting my other SIL and even my MIL. She can’t handle arguments in an adult way. She is very pretty (if I say so myself) and is very proud of her looks. But she has nothing else. I think she is jealous of me just because I am taking her brother “away” from them. She used to be my husbands pet but now my husband pays more attention to me and backs me up, so she is taking out her frustration on me.
    I can go on and on about them but it will take too much time. At least I got some of it out of my chest.
     

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