Comparison Comes Between Contentment And Happiness

Comparison Comes Between Contentment and Happiness
The inspiration for this write-up has come from a thought provoking article by Jayasala on the frailty of human nature of intolerance to others happiness. Immediately, my mind went back to three incidents, where the common factor between contentment and happiness was comparison.

Mr. X was promoted to Deputy General Manager (DGM) and was thrilled. He threw a party for his juniors and profusely thanked his boss for the promotion. However, two days later, his boss jokingly mentioned the party. Mr. X raised his voice and said, “What party?” He followed this with, “Y has also been promoted.” Mr. X had assumed he would be the natural successor to his boss, and that presumption was shattered by his colleague’s promotion. Although Mr. X was well-qualified, around 50 years old, and a capable leader, he couldn’t acknowledge that someone else equally deserved the promotion. Comparison ruined his happiness.

Sudarshan owned a 3-bedroom flat in Kodambakkam and was a contented man, proud of his centrally located home. He would often tell me that I wouldn’t be able to afford a flat in that area, and I agreed. Instead, I bought a plot on East Coast Road, in an undeveloped area without roads. When a gravel road was finally built, I was the first to construct a house just 600 meters from the sea. My argument against criticism was that sooner or later, people would tire of the city and move to pollution-free outskirts. I was proven right—over five hundred houses have since been built, and I now share a compound with a superstar’s plot. The value of the property has increased by 250 times, and I have a beautiful house with a garden, just a fifteen-minute walk to the beach. Meanwhile, my friend Sudarshan, though not unhappy because of my success, regrets missing the opportunity to buy a plot along with me. The once-contented man is now discontented.

Ravi scored 95% in his Class 10 exams, and his family was elated. They celebrated, and congratulatory messages poured in from friends and relatives. Proud parents shared the news of their son’s achievement. Then came the news that Ravi’s classmate had scored 98% and ranked in the top five of the school. Ravi’s parents, who had just been overjoyed, told him that he should have put in more effort to rank higher. Comparison had spoiled their happiness.

Everyone has something missing in life. Instead of counting our blessings for what we have, we lament what we don’t have or compare ourselves to others. If you have a knee problem, think of the man who is permanently in a wheelchair. When someone complained about being in the high-income tax bracket, the Income Tax Commissioner said, “Congratulations—you are one of only 300,000 people in a country of 1.3 billion in the highest tax bracket. Be happy that your country has provided you the opportunity to reach that position.” When an 80-year-old man complained about his age, he was reminded that only a little over 1% of India’s population reaches that age. A friend returning from the hospital complained about spending over six lakhs on spinal cord surgery, only to be consoled by another friend: “Thank God you could afford it.”

The happiest people are not those who have the best of everything, but those who make the best of what they have. Happiness is like a butterfly—chase it, and you won’t catch it. Stand still, and it will alight on you.
I dont know whether I had posted this article earlier but any how it is nice to "refresh" in the context of Jayasalas article.

 

No one who indulges in comparison with others who are more successful can ever be happy.This comes out when we discuss appraisals even with very senior people.Inspite of seniority which assumes maturity they are not happy with others' progress.Husbands get into trouble even such a silly thing as a saree.I call this Aduthathu Ambujam syndrome.