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Comparing Kids Over Skin And Weight ...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Sep 20, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I try Shwetha..I also have mistake on my side.I am sensitive and I try to be better..
     
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  2. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Silver IL'ite

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    Anika, there are people like this everywhere. Even among the people we love and respect, sometimes they also say most insensitive words. No point in fuming over these. The best we can do is educate them and make them understand the facts. If your cousin’s words were really to hurt you intentionally, it is a different matter.
     
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  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Like you, I also grew up in joint family and bullied by everyone- so I also have this habit cannot retort rudely . I can retort when Im in the right frame of mind, but mostly I let my guard down and that's when I get shocked by the rudeness. But it's not your fault that some people are this way- so please don't be angry with yourself.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@anika987
    There seems to be no best time to retort or pay in the same coin. The more one remains quiet or and just take it to heart would affect the heart and head.

    2. The best course seems to be always to train the mind to ask counter question be it MIL OR FIL OR BIL OR SIL or OTHER ILLS like toxic cousins and overbearing friends.

    3. A person X stating other’s child is looking thin and of different complexion that need to be improved was retorted in a manner such that X starts cursing herself for her comments. A counter question was asked to X what are the foods to be avoided to gain weight and improve colour. This well set the tone for the next meeting. X would still feel remorse & dumbfounded while the other was delectably and extremely glad of having retorted tactically or and tactfully.

    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  5. Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

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    I do agree with your husband on importance of family. But don’t forget to stand up for yourself and dd. Next time just respond to the statement that hurts and show the person a mirror.
    Tell them that fair and beautiful is not the mantra for success and defend your upbringing.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    :hello:That is what precisely one would be doing in those situations.
    @anika987 tagged

    Regards.
     
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  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Being thin doesn't mean the child is unhealthy...you're doing just fine, and the best for your daughter...its not a good idea to give too much junk and processed food to kids, it would cause health issues later on...features like fair skin, beauty etc are hereditary and its meaningless to comaprenone child with another...if I was in your place I would not have got affected by such remarks or given so much attention to it...
    Either learn to answer back or ignore...if u dont do both and take every small remark to your heart you're just getting upset.
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks for those kind words..
     
  9. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Finest Post Winner

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    Some people are like this wantedly give unwanted comments. Imo is avoid or confront them.
    One of my aunt is like this often compares her son with other cousins, one day I told her I'm not comfortable with your questions & remarks. Immediately she told my parents how rude I'm, I didn't care. Pls don't care about these type of relatives.
    I honestly feel agitated when I meet them always on guard & mentally preparing to counter. It's exhausting. So I started don't care attitude. Now they went to others leaving me as no emotional impact on me.

    If they comment on kid raise your voice. Because kid would be watching you, if you don't standup for her who else will?

    Like you most 80s 90s kids are brought up as saviour of family name tradition. BS. Family is important but draw boundaries.hefty ones
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:A percipient observation.
    2. A mute and meek spectator mother not only will have a diminishing respect from the commented child but earn the displeasure of the child in someway.

    Thanks and Regards.
     
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