Communication gaps!

You will be amazed to read this. About 87% of all the misunderstandings in the world are due to a communication gap. Communication gap is reported to be the cause of a whopping 93% of problems between a husband and wife! It is no wonder, therefore, that more and more people have started attending classes on developing communication skills. I won’t be surprised if the teachers of effective communication outnumbered their counterparts in other areas of specialization.

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Talking of communication problem being the culprit of souring up of relations between couples, I must tell you an anecdote I read somewhere.
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

We see from this anecdote a breach of all the three golden principles of effective communication:
• You must make your message understood
• You must receive/understand the intended message sent to you
• You should exercise some control over the flow of communication
A communication gap occurs when there is a failure of any one or all of the above principles. Yet another problem in communication is when we have to cope with words with which we are not familiar. It may not land us in a serious problem but on occasions like the following, it can.

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This guy goes into a restaurant and looks over the menu. After a few minutes, the waitress comes to the table and asks the guy what he'd like. The guy says, "I'd like a quickie". The waitress flushes and says, "That's not funny, sir. Now, what would you like to order?" The guy says, "I'd really like a quickie". The waitress slaps him hard and storms off angrily.
Another customer, overhearing the conversation, leans over and says to the guy, "Um, I think that it's pronounced 'quiche'!"

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Well, it is not my intention to write an essay here on Communication skills with lavish illustrations. To tell you the truth, my poor communication skills have landed me in more spots than there are on the face of the sun. But I do manage to stay afloat because my circle of friends have developed a skill to descramble whatever I say and make sense out of it! I do feel that I am a monumental example of Whittington’s First Law of Communication:
“When a writer prepares a manuscript on a subject that he does not understand, his work will be understood only by readers who know more about that subject than he does”!<o></o>

 

Dear Veda
Thanks a lot for your appreciative words. You have understood that, by writing this blog, I was just fishing for compliments and you have obliged! Thanks again buddy!
Sri

 

Dear Shanthi
There was a time when silence was considered golden. Even before that, when man was communicating through smoke signals and body signs, his communication skill was near perfect. As we evolved and discovered a language to communicate, the problem started. Ironically, the more words get added to our lingo, the greater is the communication gap!
Brevity may be the soul of wit but it is no longer considered a strength. The longer and more ambiguous is your communication, the greater is the respect that you command! And when others start analysing your statements in order to unravel the true meaning of it, you acquire a leader stature !

 

Dear Veda
You seem to have a point there considering that Adam and Eve were the first ever to feel the need to communicate. It's of course a great mystery what they would have had to hide from each other considering that they were the only two inhabitants of the planet!
Sri

 

Dear Chithra
I was only trying to put my own communication skills to some measure of test through this blog and I think I have succeeded in it seeing that I have made you say that I was only trying to be modest!
Sri