Colorful Drama

I am proud to say that I was a victim of this color drama when I was a child. I remember writing about my issues in some other thread in the past.

I was the only brown skinned (well, not dark) person among the entire family. Others are a bit fairer than me. I think I got this skin color from one of our ancestor, whom I never met.

Everyone would comment bad about my skin. Everyone would compare my skin with my sister, my cousins and specially with my mom saying how come her DD is "black"?

I felt humiliated most of the time. I felt as if I am not beautiful. I did not trust my mom and grand-mom, those repeatedly assured that I look more beautiful than my sister or cousins. I thought they are just consoling me. So, I slowly lost my self confidence there. I hated being dark till I grew up.

But at School I was fairer than many of my friends. They admired my smile, my eyes, my hair which I failed recognise during all these while. My self confidence was slowly got boosted there.

After my adulthood, I started recognizing my well shaped body, my height, my weight, my style and my personality all together. I got the real confidence about me only after being an adult.

Happy to say that I can be an eye catcher than of my fair cousins and sister now.

So, the skin color is not at all a matter to be considered, specially at this small age. But it is very sad that we live in a place where people find ways to judge someone and put them down as much as they can instead of finding the positives in them. I was a victim of that during my childhood, so I don't want that to happen to any kids on earth.

 

Dear Shalu, hearty congratulations for your lovely lil bundle of joy, may god bless her.

I beliefe that likes and dislikes about skin color are impacted by culture and shaped by traditions based on opression, discrimination, differenciation and identification of different groups to draw clear lines between them, such groups include socio economic status related ones, religious, ethnical, area like country etc. ... Its an old habbit to meassure things and compare which gives people often a sort of satisfaction as they feel they "belong" to something or are of higher value. This is a basic human tendency i think not only just indian... In former times in western countries for example they liked really fair and white skin, using powder to appear as white as possible. It meant for them the presentation of wealth as rich people dont leave the house, same in other countries of the world, richs didnt work outside and had servants so they usually stayed fairer. Later in the west travelling became a fashion and those who could affort it traveled to warm countries or spent vacations on the beach - they got tanned and darkend - so it startet to show wealth (we can afford travelling) to be a bit darker.
At the end of the day i feel that people push their own insecurities over to another human being, just by finding something they can somehow use to pull that person down and make themselfes feel better - superior. That these people even use babies for such things is discusting me.
I will not use such sentences as black / darker people are pritty too as this emplies somehow too its a discussable question. Which it is not. I still fail to recognise any sort of relation between skin tone and beauty, there is just simply no connection.

I totally understand you are shocked about their behavior and that they even commented on a innocent cute baby. Dont think in a way like she is a baby and teethless so she is cute, she will be same cute and pritty when she is elder, im very sure. Neither her skin tone nor her age has anything to do with this stupid marks, its just uniquely the problem of the people who comment!!!

Btw. a dirty mind can never see real beauty (not saying your cousin is dirty just quoting this sentence in generall).

Liked and enjoyed the way you wrote everything down and wish i could express myself in english as nice as you can, so want to apologize for my bad english and hope it was a bit to understand what i was trying to say.

 

Dear Shalu,

First of all, Congratulations on being nominated to FP of the month by Iyerviji. She certainly chose a worthy post for nomination.

Is it not ironic that India known for its dark skinned people shows so much discrimination when it comes to color of the skin? Nevermind how fair one is, if an Indian goes to a Western country, he is deemed as dark! But that does not make him inferior in any way. Our whole family were envied by Germans for our dark skin when we lived in N Germany where they are mostly very fair and blond! Some of them had Never seen a darker person with black hair until they saw us. They used to ask us to pose for pictures!! That's how the very fair skinned admire the dark skin. After all, they do spend a fortune to attain a golden hue to their skin!:rotfl

Please do not let the wagging tongues hurt you. I am more than convinced that your little girl will grow up to be a dusky beauty with a loving mom like you. Some get a sadistic pleasure by putting down others for outward appearances...dark, short, fat, ugly etc etc. Nothing can be further from truth. It is your self confidence and inner beauty that counts. Yes, is not the Tamil super star Rajnikant dark and plain looking? If you look a little further, Beyoncé is considered a beauty, a highly talented and successful one at that. Michael Jackson is my personal favorite and look what he did to himself falling prey to fair skin illusions?

Its easy for us to tell you not to care about people's talk. But the trust and confidence should come from within yourself. So be optimistic and believe that your daughter will go places and will be admired for her grace and elegance and beauty.
Enjoy your little one and all the best to you and her!

L, Kamla

 

Shalu dear your post has been awarded for the finest contribution, congrats