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Colorful Drama

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shalumurthy, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. Shalumurthy

    Shalumurthy Gold IL'ite

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    As with every other drama, this might include, tears, grumbling, frustrations and utter despair, so kindly bear with me.

    Being a mother of a 4 month old baby, i'm sleep deprived. Add on the postpartum depressions, i would be ready to cry at every single turn of events, be it good or bad! And this colorful woe has just got me thinking, what is that people look in each other.

    The first impression of another person generally starts with their physical appearance. Accepted, but i was generally of the opinion that one would notice their habits, clean finger nails, combed hair, ironed clothes and might be a big good old smile to keep things on track.

    But as usual, I'm wrong! It's not just the 'mentioned characteristics', it has more!

    The color of one's skin tone!!

    Astonished? well i was. Recently i came across an article where a young seventeen year old girl was ashamed of her own culture just because she was dark among her fair skinned peers. I was more shocked to notice how deep her scars were when i had read the article fully. Though the girl had grown up, survived the skin tone drama and emerged strong, my mind wheel has started churning out vague thoughts.

    So ultimately beauty is being fair skinned?? So what would dark skinned people like me do?? Being in a country like India, where most of the seasons are summer, isn't it obvious? The most funny thing i felt in this whole fair skinned Hamhung is the need and urge people have to look fair.

    Growing up i've always wanted to look like my fair skinned cousin. the main reason being i would look lovely in photos. Later another reason popped up. Boys would find me pretty. As in every other story, i realized very late that beauty is not fair skinned, but beauty is being fair at heart.

    Few days back, my fair skinned cousin and her mom came home to see my LO. My mom was busy serving the guest. My cousin's mom was using a particular word in Tamil to call my baby and when i heard it i was really surprised. the word literally meant "Black Lady". Adding on to this drama, when my cousin was leaving, she made sure she expressed her views to me. She said she loves to play with a dark skinned baby and that dark skinned babies look good! Now i was angry and Frustrated.

    How can one be so shallow to see the skin tone of a 4 month old baby? Wont you be floating in the clouds seeing her toothless smile and listening to her baa and boos!! She is a baby!! One must be able to see God in her, but guess my cousin and her mother have a lot to learn.

    This incident made me think! It made me ponder. Is skin tone very important that people are not able to see beyond it? Are people really so shallow?? I wouldn't say all, but the few who don't!! When would they learn to appreciate other good things in a person than just skin color.

    Nobody has defined beauty. it lies in the eyes of the beholder, So that being said, why do people still go crazy over fair skin? the process of getting fair itself would cost a fortune, not to mention the damage it would cost to your skin.

    I do love to look beautiful, i do go to beauty parlour, trim my eyebrows and sometimes i do spend a little.but in the end i'm proud of my dark skin. After all if you are not proud of what God has given you, who will be!
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Shalu,

    Congratulations on your bundle of joy! It is amazing how some people can act and for such reasons as color. If a person cannot go open mouthed with wonder at looking babies, well the less said the better. Your child is sure lucky and am sure will grow up to be a beautiful human being with a mother like you. Happy parenting!

    PS: I could feel that the article has come straight from your heart and enjoyed it thoroughly.
     
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  3. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Shalu dear congratulations on your bundle of joy. Dont know why people go for fair skin, dark people are also attractive and beauty does not lie in the skin, if our heart is pure it shows on our face. When we went to see a baby for adoption for my daughter she was not fair but the smiling face attracted us and we immediately chose her even before consulting my daughter and son in law we took the baby and when they saw the baby they also liked her and today they and their daughter are so possessive of one another. Some people commented also why you went for a baby of not fair skin when both your daughter and son in law are fair. The world is like they dont see the hearts but outward appearance
     
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  4. rathiprasad

    rathiprasad Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Shalu
    Congratulations to you on your new-born! Your daughter is God’s creation and will be a source of joy in your lives regardless of exterior superficialities. She is yours to mold and define, well maybe until she finds a mind of her own.

    As for colour, especially of the lighter shade has been a subject of curious glorification amongst all societies and a fact that exists and will continue to exist. It is no doubt a matter of upbringing and a minute sense of graciousness that can restrain one from commenting on colour, a fact that has been lost on some members of the female society.
     
  5. Shalumurthy

    Shalumurthy Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you Srama. I do enjoy the small nuances involved in parenting but im left drained out by the end of the day!! And when i heard such comments i was wondering how common sense is not common any more.
     
  6. Shalumurthy

    Shalumurthy Gold IL'ite

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    I truly agree with you ma'am. I've seen dark skinned people who are really beautiful. but as always people are obsessed with fair skin. I just hope people some day realise that beauty is not just external it runs deep down.

    and im so happy to hear about your daughter's adoption. i wish them all goodness in life:)
     
  7. Shalumurthy

    Shalumurthy Gold IL'ite

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    very well said!! Your thoughts truly reflect my state of mind now. Happy that there are like minded people who share my ideology. Thanks for your wonderful feedback.
     
  8. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear shalu,
    [​IMG]
    Beauty does not reflect in the colour of the skin. Even all those who are fair skinned could not be adjudged beautiful.

    [​IMG]

    PS
     
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  9. jasmine25

    jasmine25 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shalu,
    Hearty Congrats on the arrival of your little one..Even a fair indian is considered black in foreign land..When we were abroad, it so happened that I had to travel in a train all alone..People hesitated to sit next to me whispering - blacks.. Blacks.. I could hear it.. I felt extremely humiliated and for a moment my mind voice said "are they blind?? Am fair and why the hell they are considering me black? and the next moment I realised what they meant...As I read your post I got reminded of this incident..
    Don't worry about few people who are narrow minded like this..definitely kids are beautiful creation of god..Color of a person does not determine everything dear.."Beauty is in the eye if the beholder"
     
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  10. navs23

    navs23 Platinum IL'ite

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    Congratulations Shalu. I can totally understand your frustration. My cousin has moderate skin tone and there has been enough drama about that since the day he was born. People have been so insensitive that they have commented if he had been switched with another child at the hospital, if the mom was really sure she had the right baby etc(mom is very fair and dad is moderate), if it was her baby really etc. Now that he is all grown up, they no longer ask such questions but constantly pester him to keep himself good looking(God knows what they mean) in order to get a beautiful bride. It is really sad that people hold on to such trivial factors such as color, height, hair etc and let go of the other good things.
     
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