Collectively We Can Break The Bias :)

My mom had a virtual reunion with her school mates after ages. They all are in their 70s.
Some live in Sri Lanka, while many live in abroad. Most of them are widowed and living with their children + grand children. Some are still with their spouses too!

Mom was super happy after this reunion, which lasted for 4 hrs or so. I am sure all the senior ladies would have enjoyed this gathering despite of their physical ailments

After this reunion, mom had a chance to individually connect with her peers through whatsapp and they are actively living their school life since then

Most times, mom & I would discuss about our friends, and what we talked/shared with them in general.
From what I heard through her, I feel mom's generation had a better life when it comes to equality and women's rights at least in family level.

Let me tell you why:

• There were clear division of roles between men & women in the family.

Men worked outside, where as women worked inside.
Both are respected for what they provided to the family.
Men were respected for their hard work & their financial capacity.
Where as women were respected for their invaluable role at home. They made all the decisions in relation to the house/family mostly.

But today, we women work outside & inside the homes. We work in double shifts and over burdened with both professional and familial duties. This is not equality
We work hard in both fronts to prove ourselves to be equally compatible to men.
This is not the world where difference is valued and celebrated. Break the bias

• Women didn't overwork

Women worked inside the house. Had helpers around. While living together with extended family members, women naturally shared their chores.
They didn't have to go to the gym, but had physical exercise in the name of household chores. They were not forced to keep fit & maintain shape.
It was definitely fun when working together with others. They never felt overwhelmed to cook 3-4 hot meals from the scratch unlike our generation. They still enjoy cooking


We are overwhelmed with so much responsibilities in our life.
A professional work, kids, their schooling, house work, cooking, nurturing and all by ourselves without helps. But sadly, we are judged at each front
This is not the world that is free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. Break the bias

• Women had financial freedom

Not just my mom or her friends, but most women in her era had this freedom. It is strange though!
Their husbands will hand their income to the wives, and the wives will run the family based on a simplified budget they prepare. Everyone at home will have to agree and adjust with that budget anyways. The finance minister of the house will always be the woman no matter who brings the money home.

What are we today? We are earning. Some are earning in dollars too! But our hands are tied with EMIs and other commitments. Most of the times, we can't spend our earnings in the way we want to.
We still have to seek permission from spouse and in laws even if that spending is for self care or for the FOO.
This is not the world that is diverse, equitable and inclusive! Break the bias

• They lived and not survived

Despite hardships, financial struggles and stuff, our moms had a life back then.
They still have fond memories attached to the life they lived in the past.
Even going out for dinner, watching a movie in a theatre or a family picnic was special to them. They cherished relationships. Friendships were maintained across decades despite social media & phones.

Looking at them, I feel like surviving these days.
Now a days, it is a luxury to spend peaceful time with family without any other social pressure.
This is not the world where difference is valued and celebrated. Break the bias

Women have come a long way to win certain rights and freedom in this world.
The right to vote, right to work outside and the right to enjoy other freedoms like driving, swimming etc..etc... are commendable.
But, are we truly enjoying these rights to the fullest?

Imagine a gender equal world.

A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination
A world that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive
A world where difference is valued and celebrated
Together we can forge women's equality
Dedicating this thread to all the wonderful women in this forum
Collectively we can all Break the bias

March - This is HER month

 

Accepted. But most of them had helping hands in the name of joint family.
They didn't have any office work. They didn't have social pressure to look good, and maintain fitness like peers & colleagues back then.
They were not blamed for their children's poor scores or behaviors at schools.
All in all, they were busy working full time in their kitchen, enjoyed cooking and benefitted from the physical exercise, which helped their health in return.
At least they were praised for their cooking skills, and tasty/timely food by the family.
They weren't considered replaceable by a maid or a food delivery option. They had a more powerful role to play in their family life back then.


But the modern day slavery in the name of liberation is not understood widely.
Except for a few high end professional women, most working women end up slogging in their kitchens, and doing household chores on a daily basis. That too, without much help. They don't genuinely enjoy cooking.
Here the work is double. Restlessness cause stress and health issues.
Modern day cooking gadgets and readymade food isn't a healthy replacement of the joyous cooking. Most women know that, but they couldn't help it.

Plus they are judged for not being perfect both at work place as well as at home. They can't be perfect when they are over working without rest.
And sadly, Sundays are not holidays for the working women, as they have a lot to catch up at home front on Sundays to make up the times they were away during work week.

How many working men share cooking, active parenting & household chores with their working wife equally?
If a man helps with cooking, he is praised as a nice husband. Why praise him when he cook for his family?

A man is free to share his income with his parents & friends. But how many women have this freedom by default?

In sub continent countries, men do enjoy the rights and freedom of women.
Yes, they get extra income, a helping hand to cover the financial needs of the family, yet nothing to lose in the home front.
They are served with food, their children are taken cared of, and their home is well-maintained.
Poor women, in the name of education & employment, end up exploited both at work place and at home. Sadly, they are judged and compared with the women who only worked at home back then

 

Thanks for enlightening me here.

I just realized i had presented a Sri Lankan case to an Indian forum. Sorry for my ignorance!

Yes, we are from the same sub continent, but follow different culture.

First of all, it was & still Sri Lanka is a matriarchal society.
Women continued to live with parents after marriage.
The familial properties & lands were shared with daughters in the name of dowry.
While living with mothers & own sisters, it wasn't difficult for women to share the household chores. It was more fun than pain.

But, i can understand the difference when it is a patriarchal society, where women is living & working for the in law family. The genuine care & sharing would be definitely different there.

Sri Lanka was a rich country back then & women did enjoy a lot of financial freedom from many ways.
I can understand this from another lens too.
Yes, if there is no influence from in laws, husband will have no problems in sharing their earnings with wife.
The money mostly stayed with wives who controlled the budget of the house.
This will be the case with most families.
Even the poorest will have their own budget.

With clear division of roles, respect for diversity & equality at home front our mothers had a pleasant life, even though they didn't have most of the luxuries we have today.

But, our lives are different.
We have the financial independence, but not the familial security as before.
We have an outside job, but not the luxury to rest & relax after work time
We have a beautiful family, but no time to spend & enjoy with our family
Above all, we are simply replaceable in many ways.