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Closer To Which Side Family, Dad's Or Mom's?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Rihana, Mar 18, 2019.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Growing up, which side of the family were you closer to? Dad's side or Mom's side?

    Why? Was it because that side was filled with better people? Or, did your mom or dad want it that way? Because you met one side more often, or lived in joint family?

    Maybe you were equally close to both Mom's and Dad's side?

    Now that you are grown up with your own family, are things the same? Still closer to the same side?
    .
     
    Jey, Thyagarajan, Amica and 3 others like this.
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    My siblings and I were equally close to both sides. Almost symmetrical -- close with most cousins, aunts and uncles, except one on each side.

    We met both sides equally, and both sides had important roles to play in big decisions like weddings or family crises.

    Now, things are a bit different. Each of us siblings has some cousin or aunt/uncle that we are more in touch with. I get along better with the ones who are the "no drama" kind and do not bring up the conflicts that our parents had.
     
    Thyagarajan, Amica and GeetaKashyap like this.
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Plenty of people in our family had/have the scheme to park "the wife" in her mother's (parents') house, and go to phoren to make a living. Children grow up in maternal granma's house, and get close to mother's siblings, and their children. After a few years, the wife (and her children) go off to join up with the husband. In many households of cousins living in forin countries, they are all still partial to their mother's connections, local (expat) and desi, and keep their father as well as his connections at arms length.
     
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    My case is same is @Rihana's . Equal on both sides.
    Both side cousins meet up and enjoy.
    The closeness to a particular cousin has all vanished because of busy schedule they have with their small kids.
    Even after marriage maintaining this. When we spend time with my siblings, make sure that even with husband's siblings we spend time .
    Holidays are planned with both. Once with my sister, once with his sisters.
     
  5. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    I am close to mom’s side cousins as I’m the youngest among my cousins and I am the only lovely sister to all my brothers :laughing:.
    Fathers side, I’m the eldest and all my cousins are way too young so can’t share all with them!
    Now that I’m far from both the families, we are connected through social media. And also call both the sides on any occasions/festivals.
     
  6. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Ditto!:thumbsup:
     
    Amica and Rihana like this.
  7. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Though we visited maternal family more regularly, I was closer to dad's siblings and their children. When I talk of 'closer', I mean a feeling of love and affection. Probably distance makes the heart grow fonder. Besides, my mom's side of the family had a strangely Dickensonion sense of 'disciplining' children which neither sat well with me nor did it inspire any love or affection towards them. One uncle and his family lived abroad and kept 'lesser' relatives at safe distance. Another aunt was cut off by the grandparents and we were not allowed to visit them which meant those cousins who were close in younger days were also cut off. It was a different matter that thanks to the efforts of my dad (which made him unpopular with my grandparents) he did manage to get the family together after the grand parents were no more. But the 2 decades of rift had ensured that relationships still remain superficial.

    Am very glad to have so many cousins (33 in all!) and to be on good terms with most of them.
     
    sindmani, Thyagarajan, Amica and 3 others like this.
  8. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Closer to Mums...they are fun.
    Daddy's side is very materialistic ...i dont blame them though...its just not meant to be.
     
    Amica, Sri2196 and Rihana like this.
  9. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    I always strongly encouraged my child to have independent relation with his cousins/uncles/aunts on both sides of the family irrespective of parents relationship. The differences are parents and children should not get influenced by it. Children can have all the love and affection they can get from both sides of the family. Not nurturing their relation with both sides of the family, children are the losers.
     
    Thyagarajan, Amica and Rihana like this.
  10. Adharv

    Adharv Gold IL'ite

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    Interesting forum @Rihana!!

    When I read this article I remember a lesson read in class 11 or 12..i.e We are not supposed to address them as dad's and mom's side. When a couple get married there should be no more your side and my side. We all belong to one family and this is our family should be the attitude. whether we like them or not is secondary. Even as a Kid I would not differentiate but my priority would be to visit my maternal uncle's house as I will find good mates to play and have fun :banana:

    Good Night!!
     

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