Welcome to Boos Tonight on Crimes Now. I am your host Nausea Kumar and let me inform you at the outset that we are the number one news channel with the highest TRP ratings . Lest you forget we will keep reminding you of this many times between the show.. The topic of tonight’s debate is “Cricket and Treason”. You will be shocked to know how many people ,netas in particular have shown their lack of patriotism by congratulating Pakistan on its champion’s trophy win. Many of our netas haven’t even shown a hint of patriotism in their reaction. So to debate on this, the panl today comprises Lieutenant General Taxi, defence expert, Aloof Sazaa our defence editor , Swami Ghanchakkar Pani , saffron activist and cow lover, Puneet Thopda leftist leader and Bheja Bhoopalan senior journalist. Let us start with the swamiji. Swami what in your view the reason for the debacle.And how do you view all those lily livered liberals and lefties congratulating Pakistan? They are nothing but deshdrohis Nausea. As for India’s defeat, I feel that the main reason is the failure to cure the willow in which our bats were made with cow dung and cow urine. That would have helped us with blessings from gomata. That is an interesting hypothesis Swamij. What else.? It is also the anger of the earth goddess at cow slaughter. I feel that the earth goddess, Dharti Mata, manipulated the ground in such a way that Pakistani bowlers’ balls hit the wicket dodging the batsmen.So to avoid further debacles like this we must ban cow slaughter. Puneet Thopda raises a finger wanting to speak. Later Puneet, here we have some earth shaking expose’ from our intrepid investigation team. You won’t believe what they unearthed in their latest sting operation. But that after break. Before that let me remind our viewers that we are number one. (After the break) Good evening again ladies and gentlemen, it is your host Nausea Kumar again. I promised to bring to you the grand expose’ of our investigative reporters. Hold your breath. They have nailed Piggy Singh leader of the opposition Ingress Party in a sting operation. He has been caught on hidden cameras not just congratulating Pakistani captain Sarfraz Ahmed but but believe it or not, he was caught tweeting addressing him as Sarfraz Jee!!!!!!!!!!!!. (Everyone expect Puneet Thopda makes collective noises of outrage . Cries of “Shame Shame!!!! are heard from General Taxi.). Puneet: Aw come on it is just a game. Nausea: JUST A GAME!!!!!!!! He says it is just a game!!!!!!!! They are shooting across the border and this man addresses him as Sarfraz jee. !!!!!!!! And our peacenik here calls it just a game!!!!!! Punnet: But if you have reservations about the shooting business, you shouldn’t have played at all. And once you play, you have to be prepared for both victory and defeat. And what is the harm in congratulating the winning team? He is shouted down by other panellists including Bheja Bhoopalan who has so far been mumbling something incoherent. Bheja:Such people should be tried for sedition and locked up for life!!!!!!!!!! General Taxi: I respectfully disagree. They must be hanged in public! Puneet is cowed down into silence by all the intimidating noises. Nausea: Ah I see the peaceniks liberals and lefties have no more arguments left in their kitty. Aloof: Nausea I will say that given a chance these guys will have tea in the same teashop as Hafeez Sayeed and Masood Azhar! (Puneet timidly opens his mouth probably to ask what is wrong in their frequenting the same teashop or restaurant but others pounce on him and shout him down as total chaos reigns with everyone taking part in a screaming session.). So after a fruitful and balanced debate I hope our viewers would have realized the true colours of everyone who see the India-Pakistan match as mere game and are unpatriotic enough to hail the Pak victory. We have received thousands of tweets supporting our view. So this is your host Nausea Kumar signing off until tomorrow when we will take up another matter of pressing national importance. Let me again remind you we are the number one news channel with the highest TRP ratings.