Chores For 12 Year Old

She should definely be doing her own laundry now. First step, if you are doing your husband's laundry too, stop that right away. Declare to your family that you are not here to do everyone's laundry. Each take care of their own chores while you as a mother will take care of common house hold work. First there will be resistence, especially from the better half! No one will do their laundry, it'll be lying there for weeks. Get each person a seperate laundry basket and dont care a damn about what they are doing. Finally one day, everyone will realize they are not going to get a free ride and start doing their own chores! And you'll get so much peace of mind on the weekends, when you dont have a big pile of laundry/folding to be done!!

And about other chores, she can fix her own breakfast on days when you are busy. Teach her to cook some basic things like tea, omlette, bread toast, dosa etc., and she can cook for the whole family on weekends just for fun. Also you can ask her to empty the dish washer.

I just remembered one funny incident that happened last month. My daughter is also 12 years old. She had invited couple of her friends during winter break for a playdate in the afternoon. I was working, I didnt see what she was doing all morning. When I went out from my study, I was shocked to see the entire house sparkling clean, she had cleaned the dining table, her room, neatly arranged everything around the house and was about to do vaccum!!! She even combed her sister's hair, made her wash her face and change from her PJs I was like, wow, I dont have to call the cleaners from now on, just invite your friends over every week, lol

 

As divya said, once you stop dad's laundry chore, ur kid will realise the rule is not enforced only on her but for all.
Few things to try
1. Don't please or don't yell. Don't change your demeanor. Just address it as serious business.
2.May be appreciate with a reward now and then.
3.Try with different chore every time.
4. Ask with options (if she has resistance) - do you want to fold clothes or Clean messy kitchen? It worked for me when my kid is picky with food.
Have consequences - like let's say you are planning to go out in half hour for which she is eager about. Give her a 10min job and say if you cannot do it, I will have to do it myself after all other work that I have and it could cause delays to going out. Not threatening but enforcing the reality.
If she has sibling, u can give chotta chore to the sibling so she doesn't feel it is only for her. She may even feel embarrassed to see sibling doing it. Anyways dad has to set an example first even though there is a sibling. No excuse there.

Chores u can try:
Clean up her room
Clean up messy kitchen (ensure no sharp objects)
May be arranging dishes in dish washer
Cleaning her combs
Preparing for Monday school on Sunday evening(I did shoe polishing and arrange books according to timetable in bag when I was a kid )
Creating grocery checklist and ensure it is done at the end of shopping(enjoyable responsibility)

My 6yr old drops her dirty socks in basket. She was throwing all over before.
Clean up her toys after playing. Grocery checklist(her fav)

I do not enforce her if she forgets to do but I ensure she do not totally forget about it.

 

Just after writing this post, just realised how much I enjoyed arranging chores of arranging geometry aluminium box, white polishing my shoe. Setting up uniform from Monday to Friday on table for my dad to iron.
Looking for india map for history class.
Thanks op, I just felt happiness thinking abt it. Did everything but still managed to miss the school bus next day and dad with grumpy face will drop me at school.
I hope you daughter soon will enjoy the process and make memories out of it.

 

Great advice from the ladies. I too remember with nostalgia the smell of the white polish for canvas shoes, especially on Sunday since Monday was our PE day.
Your daughter can definitely help to:
1. Tidy her own room: dust and vacuum. Even if you have cleaners this can be done in between.
2. Do laundry.
3. Help pick up in common areas.
4. Learn to use dishwasher and put things away.
5. You can start teaching her simple kitchen tasks/prep and cooking.
6. My cousin makes her kids take the trash cans out to the curb and back, but this depends on how you feel. Her kids are also in charge of making sure the dog’s water bowl is always clean and filled.
7. Purge clothes and outgrown toys/games/books on a regular basis.