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Choosing a husband - The expectations

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by wondergirl, Feb 11, 2009.

  1. pink_angel

    pink_angel Senior IL'ite

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    This article is written by an American. In their society the man and the woman date for a long time, get to know each other and then get married.

    I know all these points cannot be put across to a boy in Indian families. I pasted it here since this would be a good exercise for anybody who is planning to have an arranged marriage. You kinda get an idea about what to ask the boy during the interview period.

     
  2. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

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    What in the world are those 276 questions, Pink angel?

    It seems just ridiculous to me.

    MrsV said it right. As long as someone you find you think will make you happy and matches your ideas -----you found one for your life.

    Rest compatibility later in life, etc etc I think is mostly luck too.
    Sometimes when you date you think you found the right one and later dont get along.....so thats 10% analysis from your side and 90% luck.

    I wouldnt say that long term strong marital relationships are all like lottery....ofcourse they are good understanding from either side but as far as marriage goes I BELIEVE IN LUCK!

    Adara
     
  3. rr99

    rr99 Senior IL'ite

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    PS: If someone brought me any questionaire before trying to find out if I am a match, I would kick them out. Obviously, this person would have insecurities!

    Believe it or not, one of the specimens i was set up with actually had a paper with qns, that I cd hear rustling in the background when he first called to introduce himself...odd enough to admit it ( in a serious tone!) when I asked him, He actually was I had a tough time rinsing off the kleenex I had shoved into my mouth to keep from laughing aloud!! :rotfl, Heart goes out to the poor girl who ended up as his wife!!
     
  4. bars62

    bars62 Senior IL'ite

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    hi all


    i feel the more you anaylise the more you get confused.
    expectations should not be too much as it will definitely lead to disappointment. .

    basically the person should be warm and should know how to respect a women feelings .

    no person can be 100%perfect and there should be some mutual agreement to respect each other in life.

    bars62
     
  5. neha1

    neha1 Silver IL'ite

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    i liked ur post,mrsV
    i too completely agree that intellect needs to match. or else it may give rise to feelings like insecurity,possesiveness and even jealousy!
     
  6. tuliplady

    tuliplady Gold IL'ite

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    I had a love marriage. I had a fair idea about what I wanted from my partner. I had been on matrimonial site for almost a year and a half and met many (almost 6 guys) from that site and after meeting spectrum of guys ranging from 'mama's boys to decent guys,to a guy who confessed he was gay and was on the site due to his parents insistence'. I knew that online thing wont work for me. Luckily, for me my best friend introduced this guy to me who was known to her. it clicked from the beginning:))

    Anyways, things that I wanted from my man were
    1. That he be a vegetarian n non-smoker (Iknow its a passe, but this was of utmost importance to me)
    2. Guy and his family gave importance to education
    3. He should be okay with a long distance relationship/marriage for the while I was studying. I had met many guys who did not think that long distance would work and wanted me to quit PhD in my fourth year only coz they couldnt think of pulling of a long distance. Luckily, for me my dh and I have been through it all. Had three years of seperation before we shared a roof..and boy! it was worth the wait.

    Lastly, my parents died of cancer. And many guys n their families were of the notion that 'i carried bad-genes' and did not want their sons to get married to someone who had that medical history. Well, I couldnt have changed the past but I knew being the field of medical sciences that cancer can strike anyone and not necessarily genetic. My ex-bf left me coz of the same reason. My dh did not care about those things at all. My ILs were a little concerned at the first, but my dh did thorough research and showed his parents all the info he had collected and they were convinced.

    The point being that, I expected the guy to stand by me in times that were an 'acid-test'. This episode, convinced me that he is the one for me. if he gave into his parents pressure I would have been happy not marrying such a person.

    Basically, the essence of every relationship is that one should have utmost belief in the relationship and 'believe that in times of health/illness both will be together':)
     
  7. amazonia

    amazonia New IL'ite

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    Hello people. I am 25yrs old working in a BPO IN Mumbai. My family resides in different state. I came to this city to pursue my education n carrier and to support it started working in BPO, which pays well. I liked a girl in my office. I proposed to her for marriage, she rejected my proposal stating I have a BPO job and don't have a house in Mumbai. I understand her arguments, I told her I can buy a house in Mumbai with my family s help, which is not a big question for us, also I informed her am on verge of completing my course in finance, which has very good prospects, she said will consider my proposal when I have all of the above.

    I just don't find these things to be demanding, its like a business deal, you have such n such things then we will give you the contract.

    My only doubt is if get all these things for her,like a comfortable house in Mumbai and a very high paying job also and god forbid if I lose these things for any uncertain reason, will this girl stand by myside or will she go away with these materialistic comforts. Guys please help me in making this decision.
     
  8. lucky2

    lucky2 Platinum IL'ite

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    girl seems to be oversmart..shez got good clarity..!next time u meet her make sure to tell her why woulld anyone with bunglaw in mumbai and high paying job choose her?
     

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