Choice(s)

Hey Afresh,

a very interesting thread. Would I do exactly what I did then or change it? I really don't know. If I had the ability to live life in retrospect, maybe I would have tried to change those decisions which I made because I was concerned about what others thought of me. If I did not have the benefit of retrospective decisions, then I would probably end up making the same decisions because those were made as a consequence of my (limited?) thinking ability and experiences positive as well as negative until the point of decision making.

 

Am not so sure I have understood this question too well. Suppose I made a decision to do something then and the outcome was positive, then, no, I would not change my decision.

If I made a decision that had a negative outcome, but that negative outcome led to something good in the greater scheme of things, then, no, I would still not change my decision. If, however, the bad outcome was purely bad, then, yes, I would change my decision. Even that would be dependent on my mental maturity, available choices and opportunities. For e.g I could say, if I could go back, I'd love to go for a profession which involved deep sea diving and playing with the dolphins. But such luxuries were not available at that time. So even if I wanted to change my decision, it might or might not be possible. The choice I made would have been the only choice available to me.

 

Madam, A great write up. There is always a confusion which to choose, whether it is right or wrong.Right from National elections, to seek a job or finding out a partner, the choice always worries us.
Some eight years ago I wrote an article for a Tamil magazine, a rough translation of which I furnish.

It is extremely difficult to take decisions
when the options weigh equally either good or bad.
It is not that big leaders,ministers and CEOs alone face this problem in life.It is the case with every individual.
.

Choice! Choice! Choice!
------------------------------------
The gala festivities have started.Big textile shops and jewellery outlets have started cornering the most famous cine faces for marketing their products.
Till November last week all roads leading to ThyagarayaNagar, Chennai will literally disappear ,merging into human heads.
Many of the customers throng the area for the pleasure of varieties.
This makes me ponder over whether such ‘selection’ is worth cherishing.My mind automatically goes back to my childhood days in our small town.Purchase of our simple dresses were restricted to one of the two shops out of the limited stock available.There was no dearth of happiness.

Now children grow up in an altogether different atmosphere.For breakfast, they have five or six types of cereals. Food chain stores vye with each other fooling all the health conscious individuals with buzz words like ‘low carb’,’organic’ ‘harmone free’,’gluten free’,’low fat’,’dairy free’ and what not.
Heads are reeling with too many choices
. We seemed to be more happy with monotonous curd rice we had with occasional idli or dosas.At restaurants we are amazed at the long list of menu.We choose something only to regret later that we have omitted something better.Not to talk of varieties in bakeries and ice cream shops.This deprives children of their ability to commit to certain activities leaving others, a must skill in later years.Persons not exposed to choices seem to be more relaxed and decisive.
Saree shops still confuse us.Original silk sarees with original silver zari are far far beyond the purse of even the rich community.The artificial varieties are cheap and long lasting.Archanas, Aradhanas and Aparnas ( names of sarees) are profusely scattered in heaps.What to choose and what to leave? A great dilemma, indeed.No less difficult to choose readymade garments.We want to just come out and relax.
Go to the super market.With a plastic bucket or stroller, you move from rack to rack without finding what you want.The sales girls simply show a corner and escape.
See the corner shop with a thatched shed lit with a single tube light ,run solo.The customers have a better warm reception.Those shops have better sales than a super A/C store with varieties of commodities tastefully arranged in attractive racks.Show rooms with branded goods fare worse than their unattractive counterparts.Thus choice seems to benefit neither the customer nor the seller.Then why the maddening crowd?

The obsession of choice has spread its ugly wings in education,jobs, stock markets and what not.Students are dragged into unauthorized educational institutions with no esteem and the elite are victimized to choose the least moving stocks with negative returns.

The impact is rather heavy when it pokes its ugly nose into the marriage market.Many educated boys and girls don’t believe that saying’yes’ to one thing means a definite’no’ to everything else.They spend years ,waiting for the emergence of the ‘perfect’ out of the ocean of choices. On line references to endless options make the history still worse .Whether the ultimate choice is the one they have been longing for long, would be a nil problem or all problem-God only knows.
A retail vegetable vendor in our area has been wise enough to marry a suitable girl within a limited circle.They have settled very well and are the proud owners of an A/ C Mini Hall for conducting small functions.His classmate,much more academically qualified and well employed, at 40,is still dreaming for a perfect match.Is it not worth while to take early decisions, not influenced by the mysteries of ‘gold hunt’ and learn to love the unavoidable small constraints?
Bombarded with ‘too many’ in coffee houses,work places, housing schemes, malls, and a stack of credit cards-not to talk of the marriage market-modern guys/ girls are totally victimised.
Theoretically ,in an advanced society,the concept of’options’ should make life comfortable.But on the contrary,it brings in anger and anxiety,stress and strain , and trials and turbulence, confrontations and confusions.
A woman with four sarees can start quick;But one with tens of sarees and jewels land in confusion.Too many cooks spoil the product.Too many options stall all operations
The saying is”beggars are not choosers”.
Does it seem wiser to remain a beggar?
Jayasala42

 

" So even with a job , that I don’t like to own up to all the time , I still , looking back, with all the complaints I have from the time I joined, would still go and do the same, as I don’t know any other…….is that crazy? Or Just dumb or inhibited or all.. But that’s what I embody, I guess "

exactly !! this is something I have long wondered. do we really have a choice or is it just the illusion of choice. Life was meant to shape up this way only, so here I am. If I had the luxury of changing over my past decisions, I like to think that I would surely change them. so many or rather all of my life decisions were affected by what my parents wanted me to do or what my friends expected me to do or mostly about what would others say. i like to think i was conditioned to behave in those ways.
but really, would I have been able to think otherwise ?. now, looking back after many years, things seem different, but at that time , i was so sure of all my decisions. with whatever knowledge, understanding or perspective I had at that time, whatever i decided was based on what I knew at that time. even if that meant conforming to others view points.

that is why I think , we may like to believe we have choices, but that is only in hindsight. in the present, i have to make a decision thinking of all the pros & cons of that decision & then arrive at whatever best fits my situation. looking back after, say ten years, things have changed & one may feel what would have happened if I had done that.
only, that " if I had done that" view comes only when we are looking back at our decisions.