Children's Bad Behavior Towards Their Dad....your Reaction Then?

SeekingMind · Sep 23, 2016

When your children talk back to their dad, ignore his words and continue to do as they please and you see that your husband does nothing about it, just keeps quiet, gives up, whats your reaction then?

With kids pushing the buttons at most unpredictable times ofcourse he cannot be ignoring always too so if your husband tries to correct them but you find his way as being too aggressive, venting out his anger at them too harshly then what do you do?

TDR · Sep 23, 2016

exactly happening in my house. i tell my 5 year old very consistently amma and appa are to be respected always. she seems to get it. also tell hubby to be consistent on wot he does. seems working

Rihana · Sep 23, 2016

Husbands need to be brought up; ideally this rearing takes place before the children happen.

One way to do is to take the husband aside (from his parents and other beings), and tell him, like Cliff Richard croons to the girl who'll be a woman soon, "You are going to be a father. We are going to be parents. We shall present a unified front to child and all. You back me. I back you. From birth till empty nest doth us 'part from the child."

That will hopefully translate to:
"I will not have you talking to your mother like that."
"Come back, and apologize to your father this instant."
"If mom <dad> said no, the answer is no."
"Never ever try to get a 'second opinion' on a yes or no from mom <dad>"

A few such incidents in the early years of childhood, and child gets the memo - parents are a package deal. No divide and conquer there.

In a family with mostly healthy dynamics, the above becomes the norm, with some allowance for the occasional times when mom or dad vetoes the other parent, but with no lasting repercussions of his/her authority becoming questionable. The child, and parents, learn that there are times, albeit very rare, when one parent can veto the other, and the family intuitively or somehow, knows which such moments are. These are few and far between - and strong enough that child can use them in high school and college writing exercises about 'what impacted you' , ' a time your beliefs were challenged.'
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kiranraj · Sep 23, 2016

We r the parents. So, right from the beginning v have to educate them. V have to tell what is good n right.r what is bad n wrong. If v take it lightly it wouldbe very hard to make them to polite elders.if v dnt tell them at the small age, they can't mould when they grow up.
So, no need to scold r beat them.
As a parent our behaviour reflects a lot, There is a lot of impact on our kids.
Si, keeping it in mind, v hv to educate them.

dnormx01 · Sep 23, 2016

Very useful thread. Will keep coming back for more tips. Thank you OP

guesshoo · Sep 23, 2016

First she isn't mouthy or naughty with dad. However if things heat up between us, dad handles it beautifully - showing her respect and love, explaining why mum is insists on something that doesn't make sense to her. Listening to her, explaining to me her view, finding a happy medium without compromising on the house rules.

However there are days dad plays high handedly and unfairly. First I stand where she can't see and gesticulate to him to back off. If there is furher rudeness from him, I intervene. Second step, I call a time out so they both can cool off and discuss again. If he still doesn't back down, I tell him off directly that he's being unfair even if it is in front of the child. I strongly believe age doesn't matter - if someone is repeatedly out of line after having lost their cool, it is alright to stand up to them. She should learn that is an option. I then give her a talk about what is intention was and ask her how he ought to have enforced it differently - she comes up with effective words in a very neutral tone, asks dad to talk that way to her. All becomes well again.